I have often been asked questions such as: ‘how can I be of service to others without being drained?’ or ‘I want to help, how should I do it?’
And, although I have replied to those who have asked these kind of questions in comments, I decided to write a mini-post about it.
It is an inbred trait for Empaths to want to help others, if only in an indirect way, and it can be incredibly soul-destroying to see another suffering and not be able to help them.
Especially when it’s obvious they are either too ashamed to ask for help for fear of appearing weak, or if they have gone through life being the ‘strong one’ and when their life starts falling apart, they are afraid of being judged for having failed.
Everyone needs help and direction at some point, no matter how evolved they are. But it is still up to each person to seek out the answers they need and they have to be ready to ask for help and/or be willing to make changes.
We see suffering as bad, and it is.
But it is through suffering that humans really learn and grow. It can also be an important rite of passage into spiritual consciousness.
That said, everyone needs a pointer at some time.
So, how can an Empath be there for another without suffering compassion overwhelm?
One of the easiest ways is to simply listen.
By listening, it is healing to the one being heard.
People don’t really listen anymore. Most are too busy thinking about their own story to hear what others are trying to say, or are just waiting for their turn to talk.
But to Empaths, listening comes as naturally as breathing.
This is why Empaths are often so sought out, because they listen and they hear. The downside to this is taking on too much, especially when another is repeating a victim-story, like a broken record, and refuses to help themselves by making any changes.
Some people also need professional help, and guiding them towards it may be the best option.
However, to prevent overwhelm, it is always wise to have time limits, when listening to others.
With each person, time limits will be different.
For some people, five minutes is enough time, with others an hour or so is ok.
But, for extra protection, always use grounding and protecting techniques before and after. See here and here.
Another incredible way to serve others, is by serving self first.
When we work on ourselves, in mind, body and spirit, we become balanced and empowered. Our vibration then speeds up and we emit a much more powerful energy. This type of energy is uplifting and healing to those around us.
So, just by empowering ourselves we can help empower others, and it will not drain us of our own energy.
If you want to learn more about becoming an Empowered Empath, this post is worth a read.
Hope this helps on your journey.
Until next time.
Diane
©Diane Kathrine
Empaths Empowered 
I guess empaths could have an issue with codependancy and it might be getting us into the wrong direction. Why I am so sure about it? Because I recognize in myself these codependant traits. I look forward to get rid of them and use my gift to the fullest and the best. Check Yourself too- http://www.drirene.com/codepend1.htm
Take good care and best wishes! 🙂
Ya sorry i was in a rush before. Honestly it was one of the most profound experiences i have ever had. One day i was a discombobulated by life, and the next day I was completely sure I had lost my mind, take me to the loon house. Maybe everybodys experience is different.
I feel the biggest issue with this gift is the spirits and demons I see. Assuming its a side effect cause i honestly can’t think about a friend who commited suicide withiout them showing up with some extremely bad company. Just another way the demons can get to you is all. I refuse to talk to the dead or raise any questions to the fact.
My best advice for anybody still lookin for what and who you are, stop lookin so hard and let the flow of life find you. Everything you want in life will come to you if your patient enough and understanding. For what you wanted at first may not be what you need.
alright peace out u got any questions i will try the best i can. I got one hell of a story about all this this is merely a result of the journey…
Im 26 years old, i have always had very strong empathetic traits. I died twice partied once when i was 19 Overdose then when i was 24 same thing. This last summer i got really in tune with nature and fell in love with her. After a lets just say out of the ordinary occurance took place I was never the same again.
I see energy fields i see dark shadows all the time i mean 100% of my day. Yes even before i go to sleep at night. I also have sleep paralysis didn’t know others had it till i this last summer. Man information has been flooding my head. To much to process. So little time……. I don’t have a question kinda already know what i need to know. First time posting about this.
This is sound advice. I have had cause to come in contact with a number of people that were clearly struggling with BPD. If they are telling me of their woes I will ask a few questions regarding symptoms. If they recognize the symptoms, that are unique to BPD and that it is an issue they have then I direct them to to professional help. You can’t do more than that. They must want to tackle the problem themselves. There are those with whom I have formed friendships with that are doing therapy and I will do whatever I can to help them because they are making the effort and not just contacting me up to unload.
I am very grateful you are sharing this, JPT. Synchronicity finally led me here. I am 43 and the last eight months have been enlightening to say the least. It’s been about a month now that I found out who/what I am. An Empath. Synchronicity, once again, led me to see a local psychic/medium. Over a couple months time it finally came out from her about what’s happening to me etc (long story). “You’re an Empath.” Had an idea who an empath was, did a little research, had my, “Wow” and “Huh, I’ll be damned”, moments. I discovered your blog a couple weeks ago and saved it, knowing I would be back. I forgot about it. I was clicking on something in my Fav’s and accidently (?) clicked on your blog. The pink stood right out, and I was like, Oh yeah. Read some more postings, have a few more to catch up on. To be honest, I’m a very private person, not one to reply or make comments. My Higher-Self is guiding me along with the Flow, so…Commenting haha. I really won’t go into the whole big enchilada of my life, but to say, It was always There. Finally. Many months of meditation, change of thought, change of diet (veggie), I finally asked My-Self. Who Am I? The answer brought tears to my eyes, and even now remembering, Feeling. You Are Good. You are on point about everything, JPT. Especially about No Coincidences. There aren’t any. And there really are not many you can talk to/relate to about what you are experiencing/feeling. I have one best friend/soul sister. She doesn’t understand, but definitely tries to. I feel that. I have always been pretty much of a loner, but here’s the thing. Everyone likes me. I mean, even people who don’t like people, like me. Never had a group/click in school. But they all liked me. It was like I was a chameleon, blending into my environment. So when I look back on my life, I can see from this perspective that I was taking their feelings/emotions and reflecting them back. Like a mirror. They saw a part of themselves in me, and I was accepted. So. Apologies. I really didn’t intend for this to be too long. It’s just. Wow. Yes. The writing. It can come out like a flood. So I am thinking that one of the main reasons why I am even posting this is………The Birds (from one of your blogs :D). Let me tell you about birds haha. Seriously. I will share this and then we can all carry on with our lives in a linear direction.
I’m a roller skater. Ok well by trade I am an officer in the military. I skated all through my early youth and into my early 20s. Loved it. Then it was gone. Well since I had my transformation this past year…..I brought it back. Everything that I was good at and loved that brought me joy. I brought back into my life. So I skate again. Generally if I want to skate during the work week then I will start skating a little after 4am, which is well before the regular folk head off for physical training in the morning and so I don’t freak a lot of people out as I am “jamming” around and around our apt complex parking lot. It’s a big stretch by and large. So the weekend after my revelation about myself, I am starting my skate a little bit later. Usually sleep in till 5/5:30 on the weekends. So when I am starting my morning skate, the sun is on the rise, The World is waking up. I see this gentlemen walking his dog, saw his face, no real expression, kind of bland look, but I had the strangest thought go through my head. One word. Showoff. I’m like, That’s weird. But it took me back to a time in my early teens when some kid had called me a showoff. I took serious offense to that! But! Calmly retorted, Does a bird showoff when it flies? Nope. It just flies. And I just skate. It was so bizarrely amazing what followed. The birds, JPT. Everywhere. Literally they came out of everywhere! I still don’t know what type of bird they are. Common here in sunny OK. Brownish, but with like a blackbird quality/body. Ok sorry, rambling. Yes, Birds! They were flying overhead above me. In all the trees and building tops watching. A group would always be just ahead of me at me each rounding curve, waiting for me, looking back waiting for me to…catch them? Then it really hit me. The Feeling. It wasn’t just plain joy or love and happiness, something that was so beautiful and deeply profound in the moment. I felt FUN. They were playing with me! Like they were letting me be a part of their group! I was flying with them in my mind and they were skating with me, through me, and my FUN that I was having. I would like to say I would carry that special moment with me forever, but……….it happened again the following weekend. The weekend before last. This past weekend. I didn’t feel the need to skate, so I ran instead, which I do regularly anyway. Saturdays I would still run after my skate, but who knows about this past weekend. Animal empathy. Check.
Really sorry about this. Too long. I know. But hey I’m smiling. You know back in Jan I made a decision. I decided to listen to…Me. Not really realizing at the time that THAT Me was my Higher-Self. The decision was to try an experiment. Become the Best Version of Me that I can be. Not perfect! Far from it, but to physically, mentally, and spiritually bring out the very best qualities. It’s like that was eons ago. I just had no idea. It started with The Secret a year earlier, which was more like a seed planted. By last Jan when I made the decision, I went to The Secret website and found The Optimist Creed. I was in Heaven. That was it. So it became a part of me. Morning and night recitals, just like brushing your teeth. Eventually I decided to learn more about the author of the OC. Christian D. Larson. This led me to reading Your Forces and How to Use Them. You know when you resonate with something so much that sometimes you feel they were writing specifically to you? Yeah. He wrote these books like a hundred years ago. Forces led me to The Pathway to Roses and then Everything shifted. This strength, this power, this energy…The Goodness. Beauty. I Love it. I love my life, I love everyone coming into my life, and who have been a part of it. There is only UP for me. I can’t go back. I keep building and growing, and it never stops, limitless. Infinite. Ok right then! Off to work! Wow, that felt good! Take care All :D. Bless.
Thanks for sharing, Benjamin. What a fab comment to read!
Nope! Thank you! And one more thing. I was totally remiss on your specific subject title for this blog posting. For just over the past twenty years I have been committed to Protect and Serve. Not a coincidence. The inate traits I carry is the compulsion to Help everyone that crosses my path. There were points in my life with being overwhelmed with wanting to take the troubles of society on my shoulders. Cannot do it. Very aware now with my Self-Actualization and continuing Ascension. The consummate listener and…..I feel a book coming on so will end it there haha. Thanks again!
This was helpful. Thank you. I always feel an overwhelming need to help my children (who are grown) to my detriment.
I have trouble dealing with the guilt.
Glad it was helpful for you. And yes, it is difficult when, more than anything, we want to help those we love.
Thanks for sharing.