Tag Archives: Empath traits
CAN SOMEONE BE AN EMPATH WITHOUT HAVING EMPATHY?
Have you ever wondered whether empathy is built-In? Does it come part and parcel of being an Empath? Or is it something that comes with the journey of life?
I was having a conversation with a friend the other day. He was explaining to me how he was teaching his daughter the impact of her actions, and how teasing or making fun of other children was not a kind thing to do. Which then led to the discussion as to whether telling your child is enough? Or do they have to experience unkindness from others for them to understand the impact of cruelty.
It got me thinking… If I hadn’t been on the receiving end of cruel words, as a child, would I have the same empathy and understanding as I do now? In that I always try to consider the effect of my words, and will avoid saying something that may hurt or offend another. Or, did my empathy come part and parcel of being an Empath?
Let’s face it, there aren’t many children who sail through life without getting bullied or teased for one thing or another.
I’m sure you all have memories of being picked on by someone, whether that be an older sibling, parent, teacher or other. I don’t think anyone really escapes. And whether sensitive or not, the effects of being on the receiving end of cruel words in childhood can be carried for a lifetime. Continue reading
TOP 10 POSTS FOR EMPATHS
As you probably know, things are massively changing in the world. And, as Empaths, we are picking up on all the fear and uncertainty that is all around us, which is affecting many of us in some very random ways.
It is in these times that we have to remain vigilant of keeping ourselves in a good place, both mentally and physically.
But it doesn’t help that it is so much harder to find articles on the internet these days in regards to natural health and wellbeing. It seems like the majority of ‘alternative’ self-help articles are hidden from view or it takes a lot of scrolling through search engines to find what we need.
For this reason, I thought it would be a good idea to share some of the most popular posts, from my blog, that have been shared on social media and the like over the last 12 months.
You may have already read some of the following articles, depending on how long you’ve been following this blog, some of them go back to 2011, but it’s always nice to have a refresher. Continue reading
EMPATHS: WHAT IT IS YOU ARE HERE TO DO?
How many of you out there are doing what you really want to be doing in your life? How
many of you feel like you need to make a change, but you wouldn’t know where to start?
How many of you are feeling tired, overwhelmed or lost, with no forward momentum?
Are you one of the Empaths who is deeply affected by the darkness in the world? Or do you find you are putting everyone else’s needs, ideas or opinions above your own?
Without wanting to sound uncaring and cold, we have come to a stage where we need to stop worrying about how others are living their lives, what they are doing or not doing, believing or not believing, and instead start focusing on creating our new path and building a better brighter world.
This isn’t about turning our backs on those who are suffering, or those who ask for help. It is about stopping being controlled by the ‘old ways of being.’
The world is shifting into a new era and it is time for us to catch up.
It has become blatantly obvious that the old world is being deconstructed (whether that be by good forces or bad), and we are all being put in a position to let go of a life that no longer serves and start creating the new. And this isn’t something affecting only Sensitive people.
I cannot tell you how many people I have spoken to, in recent times, who are feeling overwhelmed with life, who are fed up with their work or the way the world is, and they feel stuck.
Many are finally realising that they are doing jobs for the money, rather than enjoyment and sense of fulfilment, and are angry because they cannot see a way out.
Or, if it’s not people being unhappy in their careers, they are having their jobs or ways of life stripped away from them.
People don’t understand what is happening.
NOTHING MAKES SENSE
Nothing is making sense anymore, is it? Do you think this is for a reason?
To me, it’s as though life is being made so uncomfortable for people, either through feeling deeply unhappy in their current circumstances or by having familiar ways of living taken away, that it is forcing people to make changes.
We really do have to lose our old life in order to create the new.
So yes, we are in times of letting go and creating the new. But it is not coming easily.
For many of you, it probably seems like you are losing your old lives and freedoms and there is nothing to replace it other than darkness, gloom and fear. On the surface, this is all very true.
THE HIJACKED MIND
I’m not sure whether people are aware just how much external influences impact our lives. Our minds have been hijacked and our beliefs manipulated to make us feel helpless with no control over our lives.
When the mind is hijacked by external influences, such as a fearmongering media, or anything that keeps our focus in a ‘dark place’, it takes us away from the voice of our guiding higher self, and ensnares us in a mental trap where our thoughts and beliefs can easily be governed.
For the Empaths of the world, these are particularly trying times. Being connected to the emotional energy of the people means it can impact our thoughts and moods. So, when it comes to staying in a positive or creative mindset we are at a huge disadvantage. This post will help.
TIMES OF MANIFESTATION
As mentioned in my last post, manifestation seems to be a current theme. If you missed it, I noted how when thinking or needing something, it has appeared in my life in record speed. I am not the only one experiencing this.
Generally, it is all good stuff.
But manifestation can go two ways, both good and bad.
If we keep our mind and focus ‘clean and positive’ we can draw in more of that.
If, however, we allow our focus to be taken into darker realms of fear or anger, which is being actively encouraged by our governments and media, we will start manifesting more things to match this energetic frequency.
It would appear that the dark rulers of the world are purposely keeping our minds engaged with fear, anger and unhappiness, so that we continue to keep the world in a ‘dark place’ through the law of attraction LOA. (When I say it would appear to be that way, it could also be being orchestrated by the light.)
HOW THE LOA WORKS
I know many people dismiss the law of attraction (LOA) as airy-fairy nonsense. Which I totally understand (that’s why I wrote a book on the subject for Empaths).
Many people have tried working the law of attraction, by keeping their mind in a positive space and doing daily affirmations or meditations, but it didn’t make any difference to their lives. So, it is easy to understand why someone would write it off as gobbledygook.
But the fact is, we attract back into our lives experiences that match our energetic vibration. All of which is impacted by so much more than just our thoughts.
Our energetic vibration is affected by our history, by our diet and lifestyles, by the people we surround ourselves with, by our ingrained beliefs and where we keep our focus from moment to moment, day to day. (Why do you think so many narcissistic people attract such abundance in their life? They truly believe in their own sovereignty and importance. They vibrate at a frequency that attracts a life of abundance.)
So, although we are in times where we have the opportunity to create a new positive life, if our minds are kept focused on doom and gloom, we stay stuck on the shadowy treadmill of fear and frustration. Going nowhere fast.
We are now in new times where the old ways of being are crumbling away. This is the dawning of a new age. And we must adapt and change.
But because we are trapped by a system that controls our feelings, beliefs and opinions, it is difficult to shape life into anything we want.
The system’s programmes have been designed to become so embedded into our psyche that we struggle to switch them off. But that doesn’t mean they can’t be switched off.
THE GOOD NEWS
Now, although I have painted a dark picture here, there is the brightest light shining at the end of the tunnel.
One thing we all need to ask ourselves is: Why would anyone work so hard to trap us in fear, anger and confusion if not for a reason?
Could it be the dark rulers are trying to keep us from finding our own divine light and inner power, by keeping us distracted and in fear?
Or is it some higher power trying to make life so uncomfortable for us that it awakens us to our true potential, divine power and sovereignty?
It is a subject that is certainly debatable. I choose to believe it is a bit of both.
But, whatever the reason and whomever is orchestrating these chaotic times, it is time to stop the insanity or complying with things that insult our soul.
What is the solution?
UNPLUG FROM THE SYSTEM
Basically, the more of us who can unplug from the system of control, the more we will see the light.
The more of us who can shift our vibration and focus, the more we can change the frequency of the world around us.
Working to stay in the moment will really help you now.
Just think of how the law of attraction works and use that principle. This post has more information.
There is no point trying to save the old world. That is finished. Over. This is about new beginnings.
Now, although there will still be ups and downs, during these challenging times, the more ‘unplugged’ we stay, and the more we work to keep our minds from the orchestrated distractions, the better we will fare and the more we will understand what it is we are supposed to be doing.
We have to remember our own power. We are not some helpless little organisms, incapable of mastering our feelings and thoughts. We are EMPATHS, and we have been in training for these times all our lives.
In my next post, which hopefully I will have out within the week, I will be sharing what has helped me in recent times and they are things that can help you too.
Until next time
Diane
©Diane Kathrine
PLEASE HELP SUPPORT ME AND MY WORK
10 THINGS THAT WEAKEN AN EMPATH
I am about to share some things that weaken an Empath, either by inducing high levels of emotional or physical stress, or by weakening the body.
Now, before you think this post is going to be all doom and gloom it’s not. It’s for a purpose. It’s a way of highlighting how tough times develop us in unusual ways.
We all experience difficulties in life, it’s part of the journey, but it helps to have an understanding of why they happen and where they can take us. So here we go.
The top ten things that weaken an Empath…
1. Negative People:
Science has acknowledged that just by spending too much time around constantly disapproving or miserable people it can impact health and happiness. Meaning: we become sick just by hanging out with negative people.
Backed by studies that show how prolonged people stress alters gene expression within the immune system, more and more doctors are recommending their patients to avoid spending time with negative people to safeguard their health.
For an Empath, who both lifts and experiences the dark emotions or intentions off others, they are worst affected than most by negative people. They soon come to understand that it is best to avoid them.
2. Narcissists:
We live in a society that promotes narcissism. You only have to look online or on social media outlets to see evidence of this. But the type of narcissist that weaken an Empath the most are the type who like to control and manipulate.
An Empath carries the type of ‘light’ that might be considered as a weakness or something that can be controlled. This light often makes them a target of manipulative people and puts them in the firing line of narcissists.
That said, even when an Empath avoids contact with them, they can still get caught up in ‘the narcissist’s web.’ (Read more here and here). Which can cause various emotional and physical problems for an Empath.
3. Unbalanced Chakras:
If an Empath’s chakras are unbalanced it means they will not handle being around people for any length of time. It also means they are open to developing a number of health complaints.
The chakras are weakened by personal trauma, anxiety, stress, EMFs, modern lifestyles and unsuitable diets. If any of the chakras are forced open, by any of the above, it can result in physical ailments and a diminished or permeable aura.
A vulnerable aura is bad news for anyone, but is especially debilitating to an Empath. The condition not only drains physical energy but also allows the energy of others to have a worst impact. Read more here.
4. Too Much WIFI:
Electromagnetic frequencies (EMFs), created from wireless technologies, disrupt energy frequencies within the body and energy field. They affect the chakras and endocrine glands, immune system and nervous system. In fact, the symptoms of ‘EMF overload’ are similar to those an Empath might experience from being ungrounded.
Sadly, escapism of EMF and WIFI is virtually impossible. Yet there are some simple things we can do to help protect ourselves. Read more on this
5. Low Vibrational Food:
Foods that have been refined, genetically altered, contain artificial flavourings, preservatives, etc., not only weaken the body but also the mind. They trigger amygdala activation (responsible for activating heightened emotions), ignite autoimmune conditions, depression and more.
Consuming animal produce, where the animals greatly suffered, might also trigger depression within an Empath.
Low vibrational food, such as the above, has a negative impact on all humans, but for an Empath, who often has a ‘hot amygdala’ the impact tends to be experienced far worse. Read more here.
6. Psychic Attack:
When an Empath is under psychic attack, they will know it by the repetitive thoughts going back to a certain person, accompanied by deeply uncomfortable emotions. However, it is when they themselves get caught up in ‘the attack’ that things become problematic.
Once tied up in the thought-process, triggered by psychic attack, it becomes difficult to break free. Dark thoughts lead to dark emotions and stress, which negatively impact health and wellbeing.
Luckily there are ways around this. This post explains more about the subject.
7. Not Living in Truth:
Again, this is something that weakens everyone, but not living in truth is particularly bad for an Empath’s wellbeing.
An Empath first becomes aware of how inauthenticity weakens them after spending time around those who seem to ‘lie for a living.’
The truth is, everyone lies to some extent; if only to themselves. It is how we navigate life and ultimately it is how we uncover our own truth. But, if an Empath avoids living their truth, they will get constant reminders to put them back on track, one of which is ‘freezing’ around inauthenticity. Read more here.
8. Conflict:
Empaths are generally the type of people who dislike confrontation, because it might lead to conflict, which can cause insult and injury to all parties involved.
Through life experiences most Empaths come to understand that minds are not changed through confrontation and thus conflict, but by living by example.
If an Empath gets caught up in conflict it can trouble their mind long after it has passed. This serves in keeping the stress hormones active in the body which can lead to health problems.
9. Observing Cruelty, Acts of Violence & Mainstream Media:
Witnessing acts of cruelty or violence, whether fact or fiction, are difficult for an Empath to observe. They cause stress and deep emotional disturbances within their body, impacting the immune system and emotional wellbeing.
The mainstream media, for example, glorifies suffering as a way to entertain. Yet, at the same time seduces people into experiencing fear (an emotion that becomes addictive the more it is experienced).
Avoiding the media outlets that manipulate fear, as a point of seductive entertainment, is best avoided by all Empaths. Read more here.
10. Rejection:
Rejection, for an Empath, is not something they easily brush aside. It wounds them deeply. Rejection is an unfathomable cause of insecurity that impacts them for many years into their future.
An inherent trait of an Empath is to be protective and faithful to all who they allow into their life. To be pushed away by those they trusted or considered as friends, generates a deep mistrust of people and a weakening of body and mind. Read more here.
Now for the Good News
Undergoing experiences that might have made life challenging, dark and difficult (any or all of the above) offers incredible experiences for an Empath. From the depths of this darkness emerges a budding flower.
Like the beautiful lotus flower grows out of the mud, so do Empaths find their way into the light by experiencing the darkness.
Most of you have endured living in the shadows and have experienced great stresses in life. But we all come to understand why… Enduring painful experiences, that weaken us, thrusts us towards a greater understanding of life, evolvement and spiritual awareness.
We have to go through the dark to experience the light. If we had not gone through all that we had, we would not develop the inner strength and understanding that takes us to another level.
Experiencing pain and working through it, allows us to see from a higher perspective. The dark really does serve the light.
So yes, although the above may weaken an Empath, they can ultimately take them to places of great evolvement and understanding…
Until next time.
PLEASE HELP SUPPORT ME AND MY WORK
Diane
©Diane Kathrine
The Past That Shapes Our Future Empath Traits
What I both love and hate about this life in equal measure is that we never stop having experiences for growth. We may think we’ve got the whole thing nailed down, got our body and mind balanced and our outlook in line, then poof, something comes along that either throws everything into chaos, changes our beliefs or takes us on to a new path of evolvement.
Just like the times we are currently in.
Like everyone else, I am constantly opening new doors, making discoveries about myself and the world, facing different challenges and looking for answers. This year, it would seem, I have been tying loose ends up from my past.
You too may have noticed that in recent weeks or months, you have been having flashbacks to people from your past and experiences you may have had with them. Both good and bad. This could be in memories, dreams or meditations. It certainly appears as though we have been given the opportunity to understand and release our past pains.
My Experience
In the past couple of years, I have been working more closely with my crystals during morning meditations. Any of you who work with them will know that not only are certain stones incredible for protection and grounding, they also have a unique way of activating the higher mind and revealing things that have been previously veiled.
As Empaths, we may have strong intuition and good instincts with others, but when it comes to ourselves, we often have barriers up. We have to work harder to find our truths. Especially if in our past we experienced trauma, heightened sensitivities or childhood difficulties.
Anyway, last month I had been pondering my past and why I had experienced difficulties or let-downs with certain people. I asked the question during my meditation one morning and I received my answers in a somewhat indirect way.
Later that same evening, when out with some friends, one of them had had a few too many drinks and a subject from the past came up which had been upsetting for me at the time. Basically, a close friend had let me down in a big way. I had forgotten about the incident, but when it was bought up, I realized there were buried emotions still linked to it. Now, although I understand the reasoning for my friend’s actions, and I know it upset him at the time, I had not released the imprint of disappointment.
The next day I got to thinking about why this had been suddenly brought up and a rush of information flooded my mind. Like a eureka moment. I remembered the question I had asked the previous day. I was receiving my answer as an experience of memories.
Past Shaping the Future
Since being a child, I had always felt set apart from others, especially my family. We were a family of six. Three older sisters, a father with anger issues and a sometimes-distant mother. As a child, I didn’t really feel a strong connection to my family and apart from my mum, I never felt particularly ‘safe’ with them. They were wrapped up in their world and it seemed as though I was on the outside. Because of this, I often felt let down by their actions, and had the idea that they were never really there for me.
This idea had become an embedded belief which was carried with me, and through my vibration and the law of attraction it shaped my life. I inadvertently chose my friends on this rooted childhood belief. This meant having friends who would offer me the life experiences of feeling let down or of them not being there for me.
The let downs I am referring to may seem insignificant to some, but in my twenties and thirties they were a big deal. In hindsight, it was almost as though I was looking for reasons to feel unsafe and confirm my belief that others would not be there for me.
Because I have always known what it felt like to be let down, I would go out of my way not to do it to others.
In the past, I assumed everyone had the same inner-feelings and Sensitivities as me. It was only when I discovered more about myself, and the world around me, that I came to understand this wasn’t the case. My friends didn’t have the same sensitivities, empathy or life experience, so they couldn’t draw on them in their actions and behaviours.
My friends are all different. We don’t share the same beliefs or have matching opinions and we haven’t had the same struggles; but on our own paths we have evolved together. They are good people who, in their own ways, are also trying to fathom this ‘life’ out.
Over the years, I’ve seen my friends have their own share of difficulties and let-downs, which I know has also shaped them. Life really isn’t easy for anyone. Even if from the outside it seems someone has a gilded existence, behind closed doors it quite often isn’t the case.
Life’s Expectations
It is often our own beliefs and expectations that cause us the hurt and pain. And when we can see this for ourself we know we have gained a valuable lesson.
Everything really is linked. We have attracted people into our life based on the vibration of our beliefs, even when we don’t realise that we hold certain ingrained ideas.
In recent times, if you too have been having memories or flashbacks of people from your past who caused you pain or difficulties, I would suggest it is because you do not need to learn from those happenings any more. It is time to let the pain of the memories go.
Hope this helps on your journey.
Until next time…
Diane
PLEASE HELP SUPPORT ME & MY WORK
Facing the Empath’s Shadow Side
A couple of posts ago, I discussed how an Empath is often painted as the villain. Today, I want to discuss a similar subject but from another perspective: The Empath’s shadow side.
The shadow side may sound like something devious that drives a person to do dark and dastardly deeds; but it is mostly the source of great emotional pain, especially within an Empath.
What is an Empath’s Shadow Side?
Basically, a shadow side within an Empath is the same as within anyone else: it is the unresolved issues, emotional pain and insecurities, buried deep within, that can affect our behaviour and outlook on life. The side we don’t always know how to deal with.
I also mentioned in my last post how many Empaths are continually working on themselves to become healthier, happier and all-round better people. The shadow side, however, is often the last thing we want to address.
It is in the things that hurt us or that which we hide from where we will find our shadow.
Most of us have a side that we keep hidden from the rest of the world and even from ourselves. Hiding from our shadow side could be likened to wearing a mask, to conceal something that we consider either too ugly to be seen or too painful to be confronted.
The Japanese believe that everyone has three faces: The face we show the world, the face we show our family and close friends, and the face we show no one. It is our hidden face which is our truest reflection and hides our deepest discomforts. Wearing a mask, to conceal one’s shadow side, is the way many live and is often considered the norm.
Revealing the Cause
A good way to reveal the shadow is looking at what hurts you most. Is it rejection or not being accepted? Could it be people taking advantage of your kind nature? or perhaps not being able to connect with others? Whatever it is, you will generally find the origins of this hurt in your childhood.
Sensitive people are impacted their whole life by the inconsiderate or cruel behaviour of certain individuals from their childhood: The school bully, an angry teenage sibling, an unaware teacher, etc. If something cruel and uncalled for was said or done to you as a child, a seed was planted, creating the roots of the shadow to build.
Hiding from one’s truth may seem like a contradiction on the part of an Empath. Especially considering that most Empaths tend to detest inauthenticity. Wouldn’t hiding a part of ourselves be classed as living in an inauthentic way…? Yes and no.
There is a good reason an Empath may hide the truth of themselves from certain people, and it’s not always to get them to like us.
When we awaken as an Empath, a new way of life is gradually revealed. Not only do we come to embrace and appreciate our unusual traits – traits that set us apart from others – but we start experiencing more synchronicities, we develop greater intuition and discover a new outlook. Everything we have experienced when around people, emotionally and physically, finally makes sense. We understand our need for time alone, why we feel crazy energy when in busy places, and why we experience overpowering emotions when with certain persons. We also come to understand the deeper layers of human nature.
Once awake, we see that most people only see things from their own perspective. The majority don’t have the ability to see the world in 3D, like many Empaths do, and therefore cannot get on board with our way of thinking or relate to the experiences we endure. Because of this awareness, we become vigilant of protecting our space and are hesitant of opening up… We also don’t like burdening others with our troubles.
One thing the ‘Empath Awakening’ doesn’t do is take away our woes. In some cases, we become more sensitive and feel emotions more intensely. We thus hide from our shadow side to protect ourselves from experiencing more pain.
The truth is, avoidance just prolongs the discomfort.
Humans are hardwired into avoiding pain. It is a form of self-protection. ‘Escapism of feeling’ is often done through suppressants such as food, alcohol or drugs, etc.
This never works.
Suppressants just numb or mask the pain for a while. They act like a distraction; taking our attention away from that which needs addressing.
Confrontation
Some believe that by confronting their shadow-side it will cause too much heartache; hoping that avoidance will offer the ‘easier ride’. Which is understandable.
Sadly, when we choose the ‘easy route’ in life, it rarely turns out to be the comfortable journey we wanted, especially when we are avoiding doing something we know we should do.
One of the simplest ways to face the shadow side is by admitting to our insecurities, or that which hurts us.
Admitting that we have been hurt by our past and that we are ready to let it go brings the pain out of the shadows. When facing our ‘inner-demons’, we work to take away their power.
That said, it is not always possible to remove all the buried pain of the shadow side. Some pain is hardwired and is part of us for a reason. It shapes us in many ways; allowing us to empathize at a deeper level.
When we accept that ‘emotional pain’ has a purpose on this journey and is not just some unfair burden that we were unfortunate enough to be saddled with, it can lessen the impact.
Calming the Shadow
Another aspect of working towards balance is to avoid anything which unnecessarily activates ingrained mood-memories created by the shadow.
Mood-memories are the go-to moods, initially activated by the pain body, that we hang out in when feeling low or when in a dark mental space. I find two of the biggest triggers being diet and people (and hormone fluctuations).
Diet
By eating foods that influence the hormones in a negative way, it not only lowers our vibration and slows us down, it also impacts moods. This has bearings on wellbeing and initiates dark emotions to be roused or remembered. Wheat and sugar being two of the biggies (read more here). Meat also plays its part with many Empaths (this post explains more).
Uncovering food triggers is an essential part of preventing activation of mood memory.
People
The type of people who become pain prompters for an Empath are those who hide their truth and pretend to be something they’re not. Basically, anyone who lives a big lie. Not just by lying to themselves, in hiding from their pain, but lying in their words, actions and energy. Those who hurt others with their disregard and those who hide their shadow behind their ego can act like triggers (read more here).
Just by spending too much time in the presence of anyone who carries the above traits could activate mood-memories.
Face the Pain
Facing hidden emotional pain frees us from living in its shadow.
Self-confrontation may seem like a scary option, but it is one of the best ways to release the emotional shackles of the shadow. If we have hidden insecurities, we continue to suffer, and we continue to draw to us those who play on these weaknesses (law of attraction).
The shadow side offers incredible lessons and serves us in many ways; but until we face it or at least admit to it, our actions and emotions are determined by its sway rather than by our conscious choice.
I will be discussing this subject from another perspective in my next post, so be sure to look out for it.
Hope this helps on your journey.
Until next time
Diane
©Diane Kathrine
PLEASE HELP SUPPORT ME AND MY WORK
Want to Know the Secret to Success for an Empath?
Do you want to transform your life?
Have you tried to make changes but they didn’t work?
Maybe it’s time for another way…
In life, when something isn’t working we think we should be trying harder, when really we should be doing things differently!
I rediscovered the statement, ‘Don’t Try Harder, Try Different’, when reading a book by Katherine Gray, The Unexpected Joys of Being Sober. I say rediscovered because I have seen the saying before, but somehow it resonated with me more now than ever.
Now, before you panic, thinking I’m about to suggest you give up alcohol in order to find success do not fear. I am just using Katherine as an example of how doing things differently can be transformational.
In her book, Katherine not only talks about her battle with booze, and how it affected her friends when she gave up, she also discusses how it is known, that when giving up alcohol, not every approach works for everyone. One person may benefit from going to AA meetings, another will find it sets them back, one person may be able to continue socializing very soon after quitting the booze, another person may need to avoid all places that serve alcohol for months or even years.
It is about finding an approach that works for the individual. Which I totally agree with, for all areas of life.
If you’re anything like I was, you may find when something isn’t working or not giving the desired results, the inner-critic emerges. It tells you that you’re not working hard enough and need to put in more effort.
But it’s often the case that when something doesn’t work, it’s not always because we are doing it wrong or being lazy, it could be that we are not doing what is right for us. We are following a recipe that was for someone else’s success.
An example of where this happened for me is in yoga. I’ve done yoga for over twenty years. I started practising to a) find inner-calm and balance and b) to help ease my ‘hairdressers back’ (after years of doing 12-hour standing days, in heels, it took its toll on my lower-back).
The promised inner-calm came quickly. In fact, after one yoga session I could feel a shift in my emotional health, but my back problem didn’t go away.
Although I gained incredible benefits from yoga, over the years of trying and ‘working harder’ at yoga poses (even qualifying as a yoga teacher) my back problem did not get resolved.
Many good teachers demonstrated poses that worked for their back problems or their students. I tried them. They didn’t work. I told myself it was because I wasn’t working hard enough or getting deeper into the poses. I thought I wasn’t being accurate in my positioning or that I needed to spend more time practising. My ego mind also got involved; telling me I needed to be more bendy and work to be like all the other yogis who could tie themselves into effortless knots.
It took me many years to learn that I had to do yoga asanas differently. If something isn’t right for my body, and its imbalances, it doesn’t matter how much I work to perfect a pose, I would never get the benefit that others got.
It is understandable why we tell ourselves we need to work harder. We are led to believe the only way to succeed at anything is through graft. And yes, hard work pays off, but only when we are doing what is right for us.
Now, I am not encouraging anyone to give up on their dreams because they are not happening quickly enough. Good things don’t always come easily. Some things take many years to manifest and the journey can be very enjoyable. But if it’s not working, a new approach may be needed.
We live in a ‘one-sized-fits-all world’. We are sold the ideas of miracle cures or easy ways of making money. ‘This worked for thousands of people, so it will work for you.’ But we are all different…
I have noted many times, in my writings, that what works for one will not always work for another. I learnt that through trial and error, and I am still learning it.
My ‘well-programmed’ brain does not always want to hear that I have to do things differently in order to succeed.
The brain likes to keep us safe. It thinks that by following the crowd it’s the safest route. It likes us to follow the rules laid out for everyone else because there’s less chance of danger and we’re not as vulnerable. And for some people, this works.
Some are very happy and successful by following the well-walked path. But if you’re not getting the desired results, and it doesn’t feel ‘right,’ maybe it’s time for a new plan?
DON’T TRY HARDER TRY DIFFERENT!
It takes courage to move away from the herd. It takes bravery to step out of our comfort zone and do it differently. But trying different instead of harder is often the exact thing we need to see big changes happen.
It can apply to all areas of life too: diet, exercise, people, work, business, family life, etc. When one way isn’t working, there will always be another way to do it.
Now, if you are not sure where to start, a good way to uncover ‘new ways’, other than the usual internet searches, is by tuning into your inner-Empath-guidance.
The great thing is, as an Empath you have incredible intuition and an inner-knowing that few others can boast of. Use it to discover not only what you should be doing to find success, but what your real purpose is.
Spending quiet time listening to the intuitive mind, instead of the rational mind, is incredibly revealing. If you are not sure how to access your true Empath intuition this post will show you how.
Whilst we continuously do what is not a fit for us, we give our power away. So, when looking for success in life, if something isn’t working, instead of trying harder try different!
Until next time…
Diane
©Diane Kathrine
The Reason This One Thing Is So Important For An Empath
Do you know one of the worst things for your Empath health…?
Stress!
Most Empaths know when they are experiencing stress, but they may have no idea how much of this stress is held within their muscles. Which, over time, becomes incredibly problematic to the way you show up in the world.
Our muscles are constantly stimulated through the stresses of modern life, and that’s not to mention the impact of ‘people stress.’ Because of this, even in sleep, the muscles don’t fully relax… Which, as you can probably imagine, is not good for Empath health!
Even when we think we are relaxing, we often aren’t. The TV programs we watch in the evening can have the effect of firing up the mind, which stimulates the muscles, further tensing them, and even reading certain books can put the nerves (and muscles) on edge.
Pained emotions, either your own or those you pick up throughout the day from others, are also stored within the muscles.
Stressed Muscles Leads to a Stressed Empath Mind!
Whilst reading this you will be holding tension somewhere in your body. Your forehead might be rouched, your eyes might be squinting, your shoulders might be hunched or your wrists extended back, your legs, hips or back might be in an awkward position, all creating pressure in your muscles and joints.
We could go through the entire body, but I think it’s safe to say you are holding muscle tension somewhere.
So Why is This Such a Bad Thing?
When your muscles are constantly contracted, they are fuelling the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight). Not only is this depleting the body of vital energy, that most can ill-afford to lose, but it is also prematurely ageing, it raises blood pressure, lowers the immune system and unnecessarily heightens Empath stress.
What To Do About It
By training the muscles to soften and loosen, through relaxation, it switches on the parasympathetic nervous system. This in turn, slows the breathing, lowers blood pressure, initiates deep relaxation of body and mind, and allows healing to occur.
One of the best and easiest ways to get a muscle to relax is to tense it first.
If you’ve ever been in a yoga class and the teacher asked you to tense all the muscles in your body before relaxation, it was to aid in releasing any held tension and to allow you to relax more deeply. Here are just some of the benefits:
Relaxation Benefits
- Reduces fatigue
- Anti-ageing
- Lowers blood pressure
- Boosts the immune system
- Induces restful sleep
- Allows for muscle regeneration
- Switches on the parasympathetic nervous system
- Promotes mind stillness
- Aides in general well-being.
It is said that the relaxation, at the end of a yoga class, is the most beneficial part of the practice. Not only is it time for the body to rest, but it’s the time the benefits of yoga practise are fully integrated.
Relaxation can be done at anytime of day but it is great to do at bedtime or after exercise.
Here’s an Easy Muscle-Tensing Technique:
- Lie on the floor or a bed (for anyone suffering back problems: a bolster or cushion under the knees is helpful).
- Starting at the feet, tense them for five to ten seconds then release.
- Work up through the limbs, torso and face, tensing and relaxing each body part in turn (great distraction for the mind if you can’t sleep).
- Finally, clench the body tight for five to tense seconds, then completely relax and go floppy.
- Stay for a while in this deep state of stillness.
If time is short, you could tense the lower part of the body first, then the upper half, finishing on the face.
Not only does the above exercise promote relaxation but it also aids in stilling the mind.
If, as an Empath, you suffer any kind of stress conditions or chronic fatigue, doing full-body muscle tensing and relaxation is a great help to your overall well-being.
So, now you have no excuse not to spend more time relaxing. Give yourself permission to switch off and chill those muscles. It is super-beneficial for a happy, healthy life.…
If you are suffering a lot of emotional stress, you may find this post on Essential Oils for the Empath beneficial.
Hope this helps on your journey…
Until next time
Diane
©Diane Kathrine at Empaths Empowered
Should an Empath be Competitive?
Is competition good for an Empath? Or does it create an ugly streak?
I’ve always been fascinated by the many different ways of human nature. Things that set us apart or unite us. One such way being competition.
When it comes to the idea of competing, I am somewhat of a contradiction. On the one hand I think it’s healthy, and on the other it can be ugly.
If there’s one thing I dislike in a person, it’s an ugly competitive streak. When someone is willing to trample all over another, just to win, this is ‘ugly competition’. It could also be seen when someone is jealous of another’s achievements, and they undermine these achievements, just to continue to feel superior.
That said, if we don’t have a level of competition, we don’t tend to push ourselves forward to become better.
Unlike me, my husband is very competitive. If the game doesn’t have a competition, there’s no element of risk and he doesn’t want to play. I used to love playing badminton. Not competitively. Just hitting the shuttlecock back and forth, over the net, without it falling to the ground. My husband also liked to play, but for him the joy was in the competition. So, playing together never really worked. He wanted to score points for fun and I wanted to have fun without the scoring.
That’s not to say he, or the many other men and women like him, have an ugly competitive streak. He’s not a sore loser and he wouldn’t manipulate another to win. If anything, he would encourage others.
I don’t think I have ever enjoyed competition. It almost seems like winning makes another into a loser.
When competing at school, in sports for example, I felt myself weaken physically. I now realize this was just another part of being an Empath. For one thing, if I won, it meant the other lost. Which felt wrong. And for another, during competitive sports, I was likely picking up on the others’ intention (wanting to beat me), and I morphed to fit their intentional energy. (If you have experienced this you will know exactly what I mean. Read more here).
When we are unaware, as Empaths, we can pick up on the intentions, opinions and judgements of others which can impact our behaviour.
I go to gym classes most days (Zumba, aerobics, etc.). When there, I never like being too close to the competitive 
people. They give off such strong vibes. I can feel them wanting to be better than others in the room. I don’t need to know them or have talked to them to feel this.
I’m not saying this makes them bad people. I just don’t like feeling this energy when I work out.
It took me some years to understand that I could feel competitve energy when in gym classes.
It is often in yoga classes where I sense ‘the competitive energy’ at its worst. It’s a big reason I don’t like practising yoga around others.
Again, I understand that although I’m not partial to being in competition, it can drive people on to being the best version of themselves. But it can also do the opposite.
There is a great saying that, ‘It’s not about the winning it’s about the taking part.’ Yet some would argue that if there’s no chance of winning, what is the point of taking part? That is a mentality I don’t agree with (I told you I was a contradiction). It’s the ego talking.
If you enjoy the competition, do it for yourself. But don’t not compete just because you might not win.
I believe the best competition is with ourself. We should always be working to become better than we were last week or last year, in all areas of life. And self-competition is something I do enjoy.
So, yes, I see competition as both healthy and unhealthy, good and bad. It just depends on the way we use it.
It would be interesting to hear your thoughts on the subject.
How does competition affect you as an Empath? Does it help you thrive? Or does it make your energy recede? Feel free to share in the comments below.
Hope all is keeping well with you.
Until next time.
Diane
©Diane Kathrine
This is Incredible!
Just a quick one today.
As it’s new year and we all have intentions of becoming healthier and happier, I’ve decided to do a fantastic offer on Kindle Countdown for all you lovely Empaths. For 2 days you can get the Empath Eating plan for $1.26. Yes, that’s right, only $1.26. The price will gradually increase until it goes back to full list price on 16th January 2019.
You can click here to have a quick read through of the first part of the book, to see if the information is for you. Remember it’s only for 2 days that the price will be so low. Continue reading
Why Are Empaths So Easily Hurt By Criticism?
There is no escaping this simple fact of life, the majority of Empaths are easily hurt by the criticisms and judgements of others. In some cases, so much so, that it may prevent them from taking any creative risks in life.
The fear of criticism holds too many good Empath’s back.
But as the old saying goes:
‘The only way to avoid criticism is to say nothing, do nothing and be nothing’.
And I doubt there are many Empaths who want to go through life doing nothing. Continue reading
Does an Empath Lead a Double Life?
If you are an Empath, there is a good chance you go through life feeling like you lead a double life. Why? because too often, you end up wearing a ‘mask’ when spending time with certain others.
When I say mask, I’m not talking literally. I simply mean not being one’s true self.
Wearing a mask is a common theme for all humans, but as most Empaths tend to detest inauthenticity, it may seem a little weird.
I recently read that the Japanese believe that everyone has three faces: The face we show the world, the face we show our family and close friends, and the face we show no one.
It is our hidden face which is apparently our truest reflection.
Many Empaths will probably admit that the only time they are their truest self is when at home or when alone.
But there is a good reason an Empath may hide the truth of themselves behind a mask when with certain people… and it’s not to get them to like us. Continue reading
Why the Unusual Empath Reaction to Lies?
Empaths have a strong sense of integrity and they know a lie when they feel it. They also know they shouldn’t lie for personal gain or to manipulate others. Their goal in life may be to live in complete authenticity, but find it difficult to do in a world where dishonesty and corruption are more readily accepted than the truth.
We live in a time where silver-tongued fraudsters are rewarded, and those who speak their truth often get attacked. And because of this, many are afraid of showing who they are or what they believe in.
While the world is filled with deceit and disinformation, something will always feel off to an Empath. But it’s not just living under a corrupt establishment that creates a sense of unease, simply being in the presence of inauthenticity throws the Empath into disarray.
When in the company of those whose words don’t match their vibration, the Empath’s brain tends to scramble. So much so, they may struggle to form a coherent sentence. This mind-numbing effect is caused by the ‘Empathic antenna’ sensing all is not what it seems. It is detecting a person is not showing a true reflection of who they are.
In most cases, when someone creates a fake persona, it is a way to hide a side they believe will be rejected. Every human wants to feel special and loved. And if someone feels unworthy, they may create a ‘face’ they hope will be accepted.
But inauthenticity breeds and feeds. And an initial quest to ‘fit in’ can escalate, over time, into a darker manipulative personality.
When an Empath encounters inauthentic people they may, initially, assume it is their own insecurities creating the ‘freeze effect’. When it is really a brain scramble caused by the contradictory energy they pick up.
Brain scramble can cause: confusion, stumbling over words, nervousness, and anxiety. It can also cause a stall in the memory, where names, places and events get temporarily erased from the mind Continue reading
Are You a Morphing Empath?
If you are an Empath you have probably had at least one morphing experience. Some of you may experience it daily .
For the purpose of this post, I shall liken Empath morphing to having an encounter with a boggart… You would have to be familiar with Harry Potter to understand where I am going with this.
In the Harry Potter books, a boggart is described as a shape-shifting non-being that takes on the form of the viewer’s worst fear.
So what does this have to do with an Empath you might ask? Continue reading
Empaths Empowered 