Surrender can have different meanings to different people.
To some, surrender is seen as a passage into freedom, a way to stop the struggle and let go. To others, it is a weakness, a way of giving up.
Because surrender has been painted as a failing in society, it has never really been encouraged. It is thought by surrender we lose power. When in fact, it takes us into power.
Those who avoid surrender tend to be fighting with themselves or with others. If only in their ‘fight to be right.’
When there’s a fight, someone always gets hurt. And when there are casualties, no one is a winner.
To me, surrendering means to allow for change. Surrender fear, beliefs and old ways of being. This also means the beliefs we hold about the way we look, think and feel.
Surrender to Life
This isn’t about being a doormat for others to trample over. Nor is it about not standing for what is right. To surrender is to simply let go of the old ways of being or that which no longer serves, and the fear that kept us enslaved.
Humans are led by emotion and fear. For a long time, society has manipulated our emotions by giving us reasons to fight or reasons to be angry and afraid. Manufactured forms of distraction that kept us in servitude of a control system.
These distractions, and ways to keep people divided and in fear, are now getting louder because we are moving in to a new era where people are waking up.
The Precipice
As a species, we don’t like giving things up: habits, ways of being and beliefs. Even when these habits are known to be bad or wrong. We often have to go through a crisis before we will change or surrender. This is what we are now experiencing.
We have reached the precipice. Change is the only way off the mountain.
We are in times of great change. There are many layers to unpeel. One of such is surrendering the old thoughts and beliefs that kept us controlled.
When we do not have freedom of thought, we can’t tune into our higher mind. We then become little more than computers running software programmes. Freethinking should be a basic human right, yet it has been systematically removed by society.
I was talking to a friend the other week. We were discussing the current world crisis. My ideas in no way matched hers (as is often the case with my friends). After listening to my opinions and outlook, my friend told me she didn’t know how to think independently or question things. She needed to be fed information. In other words, she needed to be told what to think and believe.
This is the case with many people. Because ideas, opinions and thoughts are obtained from one place and not from observing various sources of data, the ability to question anything or formulate an original idea is stifled.
The fact my friend could see her opinions were influenced by mainstream, and weren’t really her own, shows she is in the process of ‘waking up.’
All our lives we have been fed information. How to dress. How to think. What to hate or love. Society has not encouraged us to think independently, only how to think as a majority.
There is a famous quote, by Henrick Ibsen: ‘The majority is always wrong, and the minority is rarely right.’
It reminds me of how little we really know. This world has been built on lies and illusions. Layer upon layer.
Until we can allow for independence of thought, by tuning into our higher-selves, we will continue to labour under false illusions.
When we regurgitate what we have seen on the news and in the papers, we might think ‘we are in the know.’ But it is little more than intentional programming. Hidden under the veil of an ‘educated opinion.’
Freethinking is Freedom
We have got more chance of getting to the truth by surrendering to the voice of our higher-self than we have from listening to mainstream narratives.
Inside we hold the answers to the universe, but we have not been shown how to gain access. We are taught to trust only the narrative of authority, and not the truth within.
The simple way to break free is to surrender the need to be part of the collective mind.
Have trust in the one. Trust in ourselves.
What it means to surrender is to let go of everything we thought we knew, let go of programmes and thoughts that have been implanted. Believe in our own power to create the world we want to live in.
Instead of fight for what we think is right. Surrender to what we feel is right. Lead with love and surrender the fear.
SURRENDER! CREATE! BE!
As a side note: if you are feeling particularly strong negative emotion around your solar plexus, know that it is very likely a pooling of the mass hysteria being stoked up, mixed in with your own apprehensions. A quick way to block it is to simply place your hand over the space you feel the emotions.This post also has ways to deal with the overwhelm of fear that many Empaths are currently experiencing.
Stay tuned for my next post which is about how judgement has controlled us.
A couple of posts ago, I wrote about Negativity Addiction and how it impacts the Empaths of the world. Today I’ll be addressing another unusual addiction talked about within social media circles: Destination Addiction.
Destination Addiction is the idea that happiness lies in the next job, the next relationship or location, etc. It is said that until we give up the idea that happiness lies somewhere else it will never be where we are.
When I came across the idea of ‘Destination Addiction’, it opened an inner-dialogue; was this a good thing or not?
On the one hand, if we believe happiness lies outside of ourselves, do we ever find it? and on the other, does our pursuit of happiness not keep us moving forwards, onwards and upwards?
I see both sides have their merits.
Destination Addiction (DA) can serve us, helping us uncover our truth, but it might also prevent us from feeling complete.
Everyone is Susceptible
DA affects many people’s lives in different ways. The obvious scenario is when someone gives up something good to find something better, only to end up with something worse. For example, in relationships: an unhappy person might break up a stable marriage with a loving spouse, after blaming them for their unhappiness; to set up with another partner, who they deem to be their ‘perfect match’, only to find they are still unhappy and in a worse situation than before.
Then there are those who have incredible experiences in their DA and search for happiness: By pushing forward, to find a place of ‘belonging’, a person might study hard, try numerous vocations, have beautiful families, visit mind-blowing locations, and meet extraordinary people.
I consider myself to be a multipotentialite. I love trying new things. But am I in the belief that the next endeavour holds long-sought after happiness? The answer is a resounding, No. Apart from the days when I’ve eaten a disagreeable food, or suffered a dose of ‘people-itis’, or if my hormones are playing up, I would say I am happy. I love what I do. But I also adore collecting new life experiences. I do it for the experience and not because I am ‘searching for happiness outside myself’. But I wasn’t always that way…
Like many twenty somethings, I also believed happiness lay somewhere else; which didn’t get any better as I moved into my thirties. Being in a profession I fell into (hairdressing), with a business that felt like a trap, and a business partner who wasn’t a fit for me or my Empath ways, I kept looking outside of myself. Believing there was something else out there, I wished it would come and find me, but deep down I knew it was my job to search it out.
Anyone looking from the outside might have considered me to be inconsistent or that I couldn’t stick to anything, because I kept studying and pursuing new interests. My adventurous spirit could have been classed as a bad case of ‘Destination Addiction’. That said, I always finished what I started, and I truly enjoyed learning. But an inner-void and a yearning kept pushing me on. There were missing pieces, that needed to be found. I kept searching.
The search sent knowledge and many incredible life experiences to me, including some unpleasant obstacles. So, what might be classed as a ‘DA’ has served me well.
Have I found all the pieces? No, and nor would I want to. Gaining knowledge and having experiences keeps life interesting and awesome.
An Unhappy Population
According to statistics, about seventy-five percent of the workforce are miserable in their career. The cost of living traps many people. Simply paying for life’s necessities can wrap us up in debt. But even when one has wealth or ‘the dream job’ it doesn’t mean happiness is guaranteed. Sometimes the biggest void is seen in those who ‘seemingly’ have the most.
We are led to believe that wealth and positions of power are they key to happiness; but what about all those who ‘have it all’ and are still unhappy?
When someone has a void within that they don’t know how to satisfy, some of the usual fillers are drink, drugs, or shopping. Chasing a high or plugging up a lack of fulfilment with ‘stuff’, there’s a belief that the next night out, the new car, next holiday, or shiny Rolex will seal the ‘gap’. But does it ever?
What’s the Answer?
I heard a comment the other day that put a smile on my face:
‘If you could do one thing in life that you knew you wouldn’t fail at, what would it be…? Now, go off and do it.’
Such simple logic. But career is not always where the real problems lie. The belief that happiness is somewhere else might just be the issue.
Taking quiet reflective time to look at life objectively can help. Time to think about possible changes that could be made.
Changes don’t necessarily need to be new life experiences, new jobs or new relationships, they could be as simple as spending regular time in nature, giving up processed foods, incorporating crystals or aromatherapy oils into daily life, or drinking more water… Don’t try harder try different.
It is often small changes that make the biggest difference. They all add up, and help us see that happiness has always been within reach.
So, yes, in my humble opinion, Destination Addiction has both pros and cons. If we allow it to push us towards life experiences, growth and a career that is a fit with who we are, then it is a great blessing. If we convince ourselves that happiness lies outside ourselves, or in the hands of another, then it might never be found.
We have the potential to uncover exactly what we need. But we also have to be patient, and know every experience is serving us in ways we might not understand for some time. Roads that appear to lead nowhere are also steps of new direction, and still have purpose.
Have you ever wondered how the fear of failure really impacts your life as an Empath?
What about the fear of being judged?
Have you ever considered the fact that by living in fear of what others think you are allowing them to control your destiny?
Some time ago I came across an article that really resonated with me.It was about a woman’s realization of how she had imprisoned herself with the fear of shame and failure. The business she owned had not been making any money for a long time. It was bleeding her dry. But because she was so worried of being labelled as a failure, she continued to fight to save the company.
By holding on, however, she was getting into more debt, becoming more stressed and unhappier. Being so caught up with the idea of being seen as unsuccessful, she did not listen to the quiet voice within, telling her it was ok to let go. Instead, she was tortured by the loud irrational voice of her ego, telling her she must continue to hold on to her business at all costs, because failure was too shameful and she needed the business to justify her place in society.
When she eventually listened to the quiet voice, and filed for bankruptcy, she felt a huge relief and an incredible sense of freedom. Finally, she saw that it was her own judgement and fear of failure that had kept her imprisoned and not the business itself.Continue reading →
There is no escaping this simple fact of life, the majority of Empaths are easily hurt by the criticisms and judgements of others. In some cases, so much so, that it may prevent them from taking any creative risks in life.
The fear of criticism holds too many good Empath’s back.
But as the old saying goes:
‘The only way to avoid criticism is to say nothing, do nothing and be nothing’.
And I doubt there are many Empaths who want to go through life doing nothing. Continue reading →
Although I dislike watching strong violence, I do have a penchant for zombie and end of the world catastrophe movies. One of my favourites being ‘World War Z’. It only recently dawned on me that these zombie films are almost like a metaphor for the world today.
In a typical zombie film, a virus attacks the human host, whilst keeping the body alive. The body is then under the control of a parasitical hive-minded predator. The zombie is unable to show empathy, think for itself or express any emotion, other than rage, all it seemingly does is attack those not akin to itself.
Hmmm, sound familiar?
We are surrounded by people acting like zombies. Too many people are going through the motions of life, whilst following the protocol of consume, reproduce, sleep and obey (If you’ve ever seen the film ‘They Live’ you’ll know where I’m coming from), but not really questioning anything or thinking outside of the box.
It’s like there is a divide, a war between light and dark. There is evidence of this everywhere we look.
So yes, we are in the midst of challenging times, that are affecting everyone in different ways. Waking some people up and closing others down, turning them into zombies. The Empaths are obviously affected by all this in unpleasant ways.
The following is an edited extract taken from the book ‘7 Secrets of the Sensitive‘. I have lifted paragraphs from chapter 5 for you, to see if it resonates. You can also click on the above link to read the start of the book. Enjoy…
‘One thing I know is the Empaths are here for an important reason. I can feel it. As I’m sure you can too. You may not know what this purpose is yet, but you are certainly on your way to finding out. Continue reading →
Contrary to the title of this post, I am not suggesting that Empaths are in fact covert introvert narcissists. The title was just to grab your attention.
The reason being, last week an article came to my attention that made me stop in my tracks and was the cause for a lengthy conversation with myself about the traits of an introvert narcissist, and how they could be confused with the traits of an Empath.
As you read on you will understand why I felt the need to write this post.
There is much written about Empaths and narcissists and the toxic relationships that can result from these encounters. But I have had many comments on my site (which I don’t publish if they are overly negative or attacking) comparing Empaths to narcissists and this is why I would like to discuss the subject.
Narcissism is defined as a psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation and incredibly high self-esteem with a distinct lack of empathy.
The origin of narcissism stems from the myth of Narcissus, the youth from ancient Greece who fell in love with his own reflection in the water, only to drown in the process.
Many people struggle finding their life purpose, especially the Empaths.
Feeling confused as to whether we are walking the ‘right occupational path’ is all too common for the Sensitive. There are many reasons for this, but the way the world makes us ‘feel’ certainly contributes to this confusion.
Because we get exhausted, depressed or overstimulated by spending too much time around others, it leads to feelings of unfulfillment, which we often blame on our chosen profession.
This sense of unfulfillment may push us towards trying many different vocations, in the hope it will put us on the path to our ‘true’ life-purpose.
Empaths are hardwired into learning, gaining knowledge and wisdom. We have active imaginations and look for ways to stimulate our creative mind. We may believe we like trying out new jobs because we have yet to find a career that is a fit, but there could also be another reason…
One of the most frequently asked questions by those on the path of awakening is: What is my purpose as an Empath?
I know only too well how frustrating it is to have this question burning unanswered within. It is also frustrating to have this incredible gift and not know what it is for or what to do with it.
Many Empaths feel they should be helping others. But because they get overwhelmed, by spending too much time around people, they don’t know how that would be possible.
It is an inbred trait for Empaths to want to be of service. And, it is often the case that the more an Empath has suffered the more they want to save others from enduring the same pain. They may look for certain vocations that will help make this possible. Continue reading →
For the Empath, having a variety of quick-fix-pick-me-ups is vital for their continuous health and happiness.
After spending time in public places and around draining people, or just when the stresses of life bring us down, the last thing we may want to do is sit in meditation or do energy clearing techniques to realign ourselves.
When affected by the energy of a hectic world, the idea of waving a healing wand to rebalance and recharge is a most appealing idea. And this is where essential oils come in.
Essential oils work like a magical elixir and have many incredible benefits, they are the perfect way for a busy Empath to stay in balance. The oils help still the mind, clear energy, aid restful sleep and return us to a state of equilibrium.
The value of essential oils has been known for more than 6000 years, not only for their amazing healing properties but for their ability to bring balance back to the body and mind, and promote emotional wellbeing.
Essential oils are composed of tiny molecules that are easily penetrated by the body.
When the essences are inhaled through the nose, the cells that line the nasal passages send a message to the limbic system in the brain, via the olfactory senses. These messages then act as instructions for the limbic system.
The limbic system is a part of the brain that controls the major functions of the body and has a huge impact on the emotions and emotional memory (it is also responsible for sparking nostalgia through certain scents). When the limbic system receive the oil’s message it responds to the request and takes action, whether that be to heal the body, calm the mind or both.
Depending on the oil will depend on the instruction the body gets. For example: with lavender the message will be one of relaxation, if it’s jasmine oil the message will be to promote calm to the body.
The following essential oils are brilliant for the Empath, and have many therapeutic benefits. Not only do they help heal physical ailments but they also work to remove emotional energy held within the body, or within the aura, and act as incredible Empath elixirs.
You can use the oils listed below in diffusers, room sprays, candles, body and facial oils, on a handkerchief, on your pillow, and even in your bath. Continue reading →
Have you found that you seem to be getting triggered in negative ways recently?
You’re not alone.
Many Empaths are experiencing this.
You will especially notice these triggers if in the past years, you have significantly raised your vibration and have done lots of work on yourself in mind, body and spirit.
For example: you may find that for most of the time you feel happy, then you come into contact with a certain person and it puts you into a negative place, or you may see a news segment that winds you up. Your thoughts change from being happy to low vibrational.
Thinking negatively is not a fault, humans are hardwired into having more negative thoughts than positive. It’s called negativity bias and stems back to our survival instincts from caveman days. We can brood for hours on dark menacing thoughts whilst positive ones may go unnoticed.
It only takes 17 seconds for a negative thought to take hold, which could then escalate into hours or days worth of dark thinking, which affects both our emotions and our physical health.
So, the question is, why are we getting triggered so much lately and why are we noticing all this negativity?
I don’t tend to write about the ‘dark energies’ of our planet, as it is not something I wish to focus on. But we all know there are both dark and light forces at work here. I choose to believe the dark is on its way out, but it does not seem to want to leave without a fight!
We attract into our life who and what we are. To draw more magnificence to your Empath life it helps to develop a more magnificent outlook on life.
Here are 50 ways of being which, if adopted, will see many incredible positive changes happen in your life!
1. Let Go of Expectations of Others
Expectations can cause untold pain and frustration. Let them go and it will free you from disappointment.
2. Learn to Accept
You cannot and should not control everything in life. Acceptance is essential if you want to live a happy, healthy life.
3. Release Dependency on Others
When you depend on another to make you happy, or to give your life meaning, you miss out on discovering how incredible you are.
4. Control your Thoughts
Stress and unhappiness are born from chaotic Empath musings. Quieten your mind and calm your thoughts.
5. Judge Not
Judging makes you fearful of judgements. Choose not to judge, yourself or others, and you will find more emotional freedom.
6. Stop Procrastinating
Don’t put off today what you can do tomorrow. Why waste life thinking about what you could be doing?Just do it!
7. Be at Peace with Criticism
Trying to avoid criticism prevents you from doing what you are meant to do and becoming who you are meant to be as an Empath.
8. Change not Another nor let Another Change You
Don’t mould others into the people you want them to be and don’t change yourself to please another. Just be! Allow your Empath self to be true.
9. Don’t Take it Personally
If another treats you badly, it is a reflection on them. Not you!
10. Get Out in Nature
Spending time in nature is grounding and uplifting and will soothe your Empath soul.
11. Never Give Up
Good things don’t arrive overnight. People have little appreciation of that which comes easy. No matter what your age: Believe in yourself and continue striving towards your goals.
12. Leave the Crowd Behind
You are here to enjoy your exclusive life experience. Follow your calling not the crowd’s.
13. Collect Experiences not Treasures
When you leave your body you only take your knowledge and experiences. Make as many as you can.
14. Abandon the Fear of Failure
A failure is an experience that simply teaches you how not to do something. Whatever you choose to do as an Empath you will learn. Don’t let fear hold you back from trying.
15. Stay Protected
Keeping away from negative, draining energy will keep you empowered as an Empath.
16. Embrace Success
Expect success as an Empath and you will always have it!
17. Love What You Do and Do What You love
Follow your passions. When happy in your work success will follow.
18. Don’t Place Your Worth on Your Appearance
Youthful beauty fades but inner-beauty continues to grow. Let your inner-Empath-beauty shine!
19. Take Responsibility For Your Energy
You receive back what you give out. Project powerful, uplifting vibrations into the world and collect the rewards.
20. Create The Change You Want To See
Don’t wait. Create your Empath dream life. Be the change see the change.
21. Know Your Worth
No man is better than himself. Putting another on a pedestal instills the idea of unworthiness. Believe in your own brilliant Empath-self!
22. Listen to Others
Listening generously, to those who truly need to be heard, is healing. Heal others heal yourself.
23. Think Not of Revenge
You don’t need to ‘teach another a lesson’. Believe in karma. What goes around does indeed come around.
24. Remember You Have Freewill
It is your journey! Choose the Empath life you want to live.
25. Send Love into the World
Opening your heart to others is a show of strength. Love is empowering. Love will heal you and the world!
26. Let Go of Pain
You wouldn’t hold a fiery ember, so why allow painful emotions to burn within?
27. Don’t Allow Rules to Stifle Creativity
Creativity allows the Empath’s spirit to soar. If a rule no longer works make a new one.
28. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone Daily
If you want to evolve as an Empath, do something each day that makes you uncomfortable.
29. Stop Waiting for Another to Complete You
The only person who can make you whole is you.
30. Learn to Be on Your Own
Spending time alone turns the Empath’s journey into an extraordinary expedition.
31. Express Gratitude
Being grateful sends a powerful message to the universe that you are open to more reasons to be grateful.
32. Keep Your Self-Talk Positive
A positive inner-voice is the key to a happy, productive Empath life.
33. Eat What Nature Intended
For lasting health and happiness keep your diet clean. Listen to your intuitive dietary promptings and feed yourself nourishing food.
34. Nurture Body Mind and Spirit
Your body, mind and spirit are connected. Only when all three are balanced will you find harmony as an Empath.
35. Free Your Voice and Learn to Say No
Only do it because you want to. You will never please others by constantly giving into their expectations. They just expect more.
36. Remember Your Friends
One of the biggest regrets of those on their deathbed is losing touch with old friends. You cannot make new ‘old friends’. You rarely make friends like the ones who have been in your life for the long hall, don’t forget them.
37. Free Yourself from Childhood Issues
The child in you lived and got through those difficult times; don’t let the adult be punished by them.
38. Let Go of Resentment
Why let another’s actions blight your life? Resentment makes you bitter. Let it go.
39. Control Anger
Breathe though and release it. Anger only punishes the bearer.
40. Help Others to Help Themselves
Instead of doing it for them, show them how.
41. Lose The Need to be Right
Wanting to be right just makes others wrong. Value opinions.
42. Question Everything
Don’t believe everything you read, hear or see. Trust your Empath gut. If it doesn’t feel right chances are it’s not.
43. Give Without Expect of Return
Doing nice things for others, without expecting anything back, is nourishment for the soul.
44. Stop Throwing Pity Parties
Like attracts like. Talking like a victim keeps you stuck in that mind-set.
45. Strive for Many Life Experiences
Keep your Empath life energised with new experiences every day.
46. Chase Your Dreams
Don’t die with your dreams unrealized. Step out there and create them.
47. Trust Your Intuition
Your Empath Knowing has more power than you may realise. Let it guide you.
48. Find Your Passions
How will you know what your true passions are if you don’t seek them out?
49. Select Acquaintances With Prudence
As an Empath, you become who you spend most time with. Choose wisely.
50. Choose Happiness
For a joyful life make the decision to feel happy each and every day. And stay away from anything that hinders your joy!
˜♥♥♥˜
If you’re curious why people behave strangely around you or act as though they don’t like you, you may want to read this post: The Mirror of an Empath.
Hope this helps on your Empath journey.
Until next time,
Diane
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Living in this heavily populated world, Empaths face many challenges. If it’s not having others’ negativities dumped on them, they get drained of vital energy just by spending too much time in public.
Learning to set energetic boundaries is, of course, a given for those of a Sensitive nature and many Empaths are hardwired into automatically doing this. However, sometimes life just gets in the way.
We all need gentle reminders, from time to time, about what we could be doing to protect ourselves and thus make life more enjoyable. And this is what I hope to present in this guide for the Empath.
For Empaths, wanting to block out all external emotions and energies would, no doubt, be a priority. But it is not always that cut and dry. For one thing, she might have already tried every energy-blocking technique known to man, without any success.
And then there are the questions: why is it Empaths feel and take on what they do, emotionally, is it not for a purpose? In taking on these negative energies are they not helping rid the world of them?
The answer to those question are debatable. But the fact is, all Empaths need to learn to protect themselves from wayward energies, and know how to stay grounded, so they can continue to function in everyday life.
Out and About
When an Empath is alone in people-congested places, they may soak up the highly charged energies no sooner than having stepped over the building’s threshold.
If you are one who finds being in public areas, such as shopping malls and cinemas, unbearable, to the point of avoiding them at all costs, there are some techniques you could try that may help:
Take a Friend: Being with another person acts as a buffer and helps diffuse external energies. This lessens the impact, when spending time in public places. It also serves as a pleasant distraction and takes your mind off what you are feeling.
Chances are, after the shopping trip or outing, you may still feel drained but your experience will have been a much more pleasant one.
If taking a friend, or family member, is not possible find a grounding technique, that works for you, and use it before going out. Below are some you could try:
Power Poses: A power pose is generally anything that opens up the body. They can be as simple as opening up one’s arms wide (so your body is in the shape of a cross) and taking long, slow breaths through the nose. Holding a gentle smile is further empowering.
If you are familiar with yoga, a Starfish pose (standing with wide legs and arms) is ideal, as is a Warrior pose with open arms.
Holding the power pose for a couple of minutes before leaving home, or entering an energy-hostile environment, serves in uplifting and expanding one’s energy field. This is opposed to how an Empath often goes out into the world, wanting to feel small and invisible.
Grounding visualizations: These could be anything from visualising roots coming from your feet, grounding you to the earth, to mentally building a halo of white light around your body and expanding it with your breath.
Take a couple of minutes to quieten the mind before attempting.
Affirmations: Positive mini-declarations repeated in the mind can serve in being uplifting, empowering and protective. Statements such as: ‘I am empowered ‘or ‘I am in control’, instantly, and positively, change your mind-set, and your vibration, and thus make you better equipped to handle excessive energies.
Find one that works for you, suitable for the time and place.
Music therapy: Taking your music and earphones is a huge help when out and about. Listening to music you love creates an inner-expansion. It uplifts your energy and creates a protective ‘bliss bubble’ around you. This energy expansion enables you to glide through public-places seemingly unaffected.
It is best to get into the ‘music zone’ before entering a peopled place.
Breath-work: There are many grounding and mind quietening methods available, such as meditation, that need a committed, daily practise to reap the full benefits. However, the breathing methods, included in the post below are meditative techniques and can be done in a hurry or when one is feeling out of sorts.
You may need to play around with different breathing techniques to find one which works for you. They can be used before entering or whilst in a busy place.
Please see this post for various breathing techniques.
Bedtime
If you are one who doesn’t like sleep-snuggling, or having to sleep close to your partner in bed, no matter how much you love them, you are not alone.
Having sleeping-space is essential for the Empath.
Most Empaths loathe having anyone get in their ‘energy-space’, day or night, but as sleep-time is crucial for recharging, it is even more important they are allowed it.
If you share a bed, and it is not possible for you to have your own bedroom, opt for the largest size bed available, if space permits.
If you still struggle sleeping near your partner or wake-up feeling drained, use one of the above grounding techniques and adapt them to bedtime mode.
Eating
Know your food and how it affects you. Listen to what your body is telling you about what is and isn’t right for you. If, for example, you have a nagging feeling that dairy is causing you to have an allergic reaction, you could try the 30 day exclusion challenge, to see if it is.
This involves abstaining from all dairy (or whatever you suspect does not agree with you, be it chocolate, tomatoes, alcohol or GMOs) for 30 days. After that time, gradually introduce it back into your diet. If you have a big reaction to it, you know you are intolerant, allergic or energetically incompatible and are best removing it from your diet.
Over a period of about 15 years, I’ve tried many eating and exercise plans. I have tried and trained in many holistic therapies and healing, and researched the benefits of nutrients. I always believed that the answers to my healing lay in the metaphysical, and if I made myself more ‘spiritual’ I would find life easier… I hadn’t taken into consideration that it didn’t matter how many hours I sat in meditation or doing yoga, or how many spiritual texts I read, if I was putting poison into my physical body, no amount of meditation or spiritual awareness was going to balance me.
Of everything I have tried over the years, holistically, spiritually and energetically, the most profound changes happened to me when I changed my diet!
I have written about benefits of changing the diet before (and will do again, and again), but as I consider it to be one of the best things you can do to aid physical healing and spiritual growth, especially for Empaths, I will keep spreading the word.
We may all be very different, with different spiritual, nutritional and physical requirements, but none of us will benefit from taking drugs or eating drug-like food…
Because they tend to be highly reactive, Empaths react more to drug-like foods than those not of a Sensitive nature. High reactive people taste the bitterness in lemons more than others, feel emotional and physical pain more, go red in the face easier and are affected by certain foods, drugs and alcohol worse than those who are not highly reactive.
High reactives are responsive to different vibrations of energy. Everything is energy vibrating at different frequencies and that includes what we eat and drink: the faster the vibration, the higher the frequency. Empaths are negatively affected by anything of a low vibration. Certain foods, drugs and alcohol all have a low vibrational energy and bring the Empath down fast.
If you suspect your diet is impacting your health, and Empath ways, and are keen to learn of all the negative ways your diet can impact Empath life click here.
It is also wise to take note how your food is prepared. Food made in an angry or unhappy environment will carry that energy and thus show up within you.
Most Empaths benefit from having mainly homemade food, so they know exactly what energy goes into their meals.
Socializing and Stimulants
Unfortunately, any kind of stimulant (alcohol, drugs, etc.) only serve in weakening the Empath (as they do any other human). Under the influence, it may feel like external energies are blocked but unfortunately this is not the case. They still seep in and still need to be dealt with.
When in company, other people’s emotions may show up in the Empath as aggression or an overly dominant ego on the evening of consumption or as a physical and emotional hangover from hell the day after.
If you don’t like the idea of giving up your favourite tipple, or social life, try using grounding techniques before an evening out and drink lots of water throughout the evening. Water has both a cleansing and grounding effect. Also include lots of alkalizing foods in your diet. By keeping your body in a more alkaline state it helps keep Empath balance and prevents alcohol doing as much damage.
Friends
The longer the Empath has known a friend, the more impact the friend can have on their energy. As you would imagine this could be a good or bad thing, depending on the relationship.
Knowing how to navigate your friendships serves in offering healthier and happier relationships.
Friends’ energy and how it affects those of a Sensitive nature will change along with their age and life circumstances. If down or depressed, a friend can unintentionally take the Empath down with them.
In theses cases one has to learn to emotionally unplug. One can still listen and be there, but in a detached way.
Also, be very wary of an unwanted energy drain.
We all know people who drain energy, otherwise known as the ‘Energy Vampires’, but when a friend, who isn’t normally a drainer, is experiencing a tough time their energy-sucking tentacles may seek out an instant uplift from anywhere they can get it. (Please see here, here, here for more ways to stay protected).
To avoid being a friend’s ‘energy-replacement-meal’, watch for any drain and where it is coming from. It is normally be from one of four of the main energy centres (chakras): sacral (below belly), solar plexus (mid belly), heart (heart area) or throat (front of throat) and it may be felt by a pull or ache in that area.
Wherever you feel the drain, cover that area immediately with your hands or arms. It is not by chance that we cross our arms over our stomach or chest in social situations; we are subconsciously stopping an energy-drain.
Empaths tend to be very faithful to their friends and keep them in their life for the long-haul. For this reason, it is a good idea to choose friends wisely.
For the Empath finding their calling or vocation can be a challenge of epic proportions.
Living a lie, through having to pretend they like doing a job which they don’t, or sell a product they do not believe in, is nothing short of torture for the Empath.
As eighty percent of the workforce do not enjoy their job, this does not make for an energy-efficient or happy working environment (another obstacle for the Empath).
If you listen, your Internal Guidance System will continuously present you with vocational options, perhaps as interests or passions.
If searching for your dream job, or just a new direction in life, here are some questions that may ignite the answer:
What are your passions?
What do you love to do?
What do you believe in?
What would you wake up excited to do each day?
What can you not live without doing?
What engages you?
What interest keeps coming back to you?
If you could change the world for the better, how would you do it?
Roadblocks
Roadblocks are what stop you going down your desired or chosen route in life. They can be seen through sickness, redundancy, depression, loss of money and social status or non-starting projects. They can unexpectedly pop up out of nowhere, take you off your current journey and bring your life to a standstill or send you off in a new direction.
When encountering roadblocks it may seem like they are purely an unfair punishment, but this comes down to your perspective. They are normally presented as a detour and a way to make changes to your life’s journey when refusing to listen to your IGS.
This detour may involve a long and winding scenic-route, which also happens to be an uncomfortable, seemingly never-ending, bumpy road. But again, this is down to your perspective.
You have a choice: you can get wrapped up in the inconvenience and discomfort of the long ‘scenic-route’, focusing only on that, or you can concentrate on the ever-changing landscape as it passes and be grateful for being given a chance to change.
Everything presented to us in life is a gift, even roadblocks, and are something to learn and grow from… if only you allow yourselves to see it.
Exercise
Exercise is essential to an Empath’s wellbeing. It works both the physical and energetic bodies, and helps clear stagnant or negative energy.
Sadly, we live in a society that promotes a ‘no-pain-no-gain’ philosophy towards exercise and a focus on sculpting the muscles instead of healing the body and mind. Exercise should be fun and liberating, not torturous or painful (unless you enjoy that ).
There are many ways to exercise and it doesn’t have to be costly or complicated. It can be as simple as turning on some funky music and shaking your hips around the kitchen. Dancing when no one is watching is unbelievably uplifting and you get to make your own moves with the beat of the music.
Running or walking in nature, freestyle dance, where there are no rules, or one of the many forms of yoga, are some of the best forms of exercise for the Empath. These could be done alone at home, and there is no need for a gym membership.
Swimming in the sea, or a lake, would also be great, if you’re fortunate enough to have one nearby.
A gym-class is not always the best environment for the Empath, especially if it has a very ego-driven or body-conscious atmosphere and adorned by lots of mirrors.
Some Empaths pick up negative residual energy left on mirrors. If there have been many insecure, or body conscious, people gazing into gym-mirrors (or mirrors in clothes shops, etc.) an Empath may feel the lingering energy of these insecurities and take them on as their own.
Relationships
For the Empath, relationships often prove to be a complicated area of life. But also very rewarding when they find a compatible mate (who very likely won’t be an Empath but may still be sensitive).
Empaths are a greatly misunderstood bunch. If they seem aloof or disconnected (after suffering Empath overwhelm) it may take a while for their detachment, and need for time alone, not to be taken personally by a prospective partner.
When one is romantically connected to another, it can make the energetic connection complicated.
Reading someone, who holds no emotional ties, comes quite easily for the Empath. However, when there is a strong emotional bind it can distort one’s ability to read energies clearly. This can lead to confusion and frustration, especially in the early building, days of a relationship and even further down the road.
Not everyone is as inclined to be as honest as an Empath; especially if they have grown-up or worked in an environment where lying is ‘quietly’ seen as acceptable (it is surprising how often this is the case). This is a huge bugbear for the Empath because they feel the energy of a lie, but not always what the lie is. In some cases, this leads to paranoia which in turn leads to ungrounded accusations and arguments.
A whole book could be dedicated to the relationship highs and lows of an Empath and how to handle every situation (see The Empath Awakening for more on Empath relationships). But in brief, it’s safe to say that the best way to be in any relationship is honest (unless the truth will cause unnecessary pain) and never be afraid to show your True-Self.
It’s always good to remember that every relationship, no matter how brief, offers valuable lessons. Even toxic relationships, filled with strife and arguments, can show areas of life that need to be worked on or improved.
Comfort Zone
Allowing yourself to step from your comfort zone, on a daily basis, allows for growth in all areas of your life. It enables you to face your fears and, in facing them, it gives you a greater capacity to deal with any negative emotions you meet.
When we stay comfortable, we stay small and don’t expand. As the saying goes:
‘If it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you!’
– Fred Devito
Stepping from the comfort zone can be done by going further than you would like during exercise, by making a phone-call you’ve been putting off for months, by telling someone you love them, or anything that makes you squirm but which you know you should do.
Getting Out of Your Head
Thoughts can be destructive to your health and wellbeing, especially when they are negative and repetitive. Empaths tend to spend a lot of time in their heads, which is great when thoughts are creative, happy or enlightening. But spend too much time around certain people, or places, and those happy thoughts can quickly turn into painful memories, anger or notions of being wronged or unfairly treated by another.
You may not realise those irrational thoughts, that are on a perpetual time-loop, were ignited by being around certain others, as they don’t always kick in till a day or two after exposure.
So, how do you stop them? It’s not easy but it can be done. The best techniques involves externalising your awareness or by distracting the mind.
Externalising Awareness: One of the best ways to get out of the head is to focus your awareness outside of yourself, using a meditative technique called mindfulness.
This can be done almost anywhere and involves focusing on something outside of your mind. You could gaze at a flickering candle or pay close attention to your scenery as you pass it by (obviously not to be done whilst driving).
If you like walking in nature look up at the trees and notice all you can about the bark, branches and leaves, see the different cloud formations in the sky or inspect the wild flowers growing within the foliage.
Thought Distraction: When your thoughts are on negative-overdrive, doing activities which allow you to indulge them is not advisable. You need to distract yourself. One of the quickest ways to do this is by stepping out of your comfort zone.
When your mind becomes preoccupied by anything which causes discomfort it stops engaging dark or repetitive thoughts. A few minutes exercising usually does the trick:
If you practise yoga do a pose you find challenging or which requires stamina or concentration, such as the Plank, Warrior, Tree or Crow.
Do some on the spot exercise: march, jog, star jumps, twist jumps, etc.
Just be wary of injury before doing any on the spot exercise. When your muscles, or joints, are cold they are not as pliable and are more prone to injury. Start slowly and build up the intensity.
Conclusion
As we are all here on our own journey with learning experiences unique to us, not all the tips and advice offered here will be helpful to everyone. But until you try them for yourself you will not know what works or what doesn’t.
As an Empath, you may have come into life purely to gain experience of feeling others’ emotions. And because of this, it is important to remember that just because one Sensitive has learnt how to deal with external energies and you haven’t, even after trying every technique in the book, doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong or being punished. It may simply mean you have not yet achieved a certain lesson from a certain experience.
It could also be that you are capable of enduring more hardships in life and your mountains are higher and harder to climb than most and in turn you will be learning more.
Hope this helps on your Empath journey.
Until next time…
Diane
Do you want to transform your Empath life in the most amazing way and enjoy complete emotional freedom? If the answer is yes, then this book is for You. Click here for more information.
It is incredible how quickly clutter builds within the home and the mind. How many of us hold onto things long after they’ve outlived their use?
Have you kept old clothes for when you lose weight or hope they may come back in fashion one day?
Or have you been given a gift you didn’t really like, but kept to avoid hurting another’s feelings?
I think it’s safe to say most could answer yes to the above questions. But hoarding, even just a bit, soon sees your home overloaded with junk. Bad news for Empaths or those of a Sensitive nature.
An overly cluttered house leads to an overly cluttered energy field.
Clutter equates to stagnated energy and is extremely draining to the body and mind. Even clutter the eye cannot see has a debilitating effect on the psyche and creates an overcrowded feeling.
If you have a crowded house (and I don’t mean with people) you may not realize how much it depletes your energy. Clutter causes sluggishness, apathy and an uninspired Empath mind.
Empaths tend to have an inbuilt loathing of clutter, whether they are aware of their gift or not, and this is because they feel ‘clutter energy’ dragging them down. They may opt for an uncomplicated decor, without too much fuss, for the simple reason all objects hold energy. But over the years clutter unintentionally builds.
Many years ago, I read a book by Karen Kingston called: ‘Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, it really resonated with me and inspired me to have a full-on house detox.
I hatched a plan to rid the home of all unwanted, unused and unhelpful items we had hoarded. My husband and I ploughed through the house, room by room, and cleared tonnes of stuff (slight exaggeration, but you will be surprised how much is crammed into the smallest draw). I have a minimalistic décor style and have never liked visual clutter. So everything removed came out of cupboards, draws and wardrobes.
It was amazing how clean, fresh and liberated we both felt afterwards. Removing the clutter also cleared energetic debris held within the unused items.
Where to start
The first thing you need to summon when de-cluttering is bravery. Yes, it may sound silly to suggest being brave when it comes to house-clearing, but it’s often exactly what you need. Letting anything go causes discomfort. Fear always rear its ugly head when making any changes in life. When de-cluttering, fear likes to perch on your shoulder and whisper in your ear, telling you how much you need those unneeded items.
Hoarding is born from the fear of lack. By clearing your clutter you face this fear. When your home is full there is no room for anything new to come into your life. In making space, you send out a message to the universe that you are open to receive (but hopefully not to more clutter).
To find out whether you really need something in your life simply ask this question: How will this item improve my life? If you can’t come up with an answer (other than it won’t) it’s probably time to ditch or give it to charity.
Mental Clutter
Clearing the clutter doesn’t just have to be of your home, you can have an internal-clutter-clearing session.
Disposing of old beliefs, traits or thought patterns is both liberating and rejuvenating. Granted, they’re not as easy to be rid of as belongings, but probably ten times more beneficial.
A trait that will serve you no-end in eliminating is overly judgemental behaviour.
Judgemental behaviour carries a dark, cluttering energy
Although Empaths may dislike judging others it doesn’t mean they won’t harshly judge themselves. Being judgemental is imprisoning and causes untold harm. And it doesn’t have to be vindictive to be damaging: Believing you are not good enough, or another is more worthy is destructive. Self-judgements shrinks your self-worth and clutters your mind with insecurities.
Being judgemental catches all Empaths unaware. But when you work to clear it you become more conscious and automatically disengage from judgemental musings before they have chance to do damage.
Clutter Clearing Check List for the Internal and External
If you are in doubt of what you should or shouldn’t keep in your life, see the following questions:
Does this serve me today?
Will this serve me in the foreseeable future?
Can this serve anyone else?
Why am I holding onto this?
Will keeping/holding onto this make me happy?
A word of warning: Within days of having a clear-out your mind will play tricks on you. You will suddenly find use for everything you de-cluttered. You may not have used an item for 5 years but your mind will find a job for it once you’ve binned it. Just know that this is part of the de-cluttering process and it will pass.
Hope this post helps you on your Empath journey.
Until next time
Diane
Donations can be made here. Thank You for your kind support.
The title was just to grab your attention.
It is incredible how quickly clutter builds within the home and the mind. 
Empaths Empowered 