Tag Archives: toxic people and the Empath

10 Ways Empaths Become Toxic

Posted in Balancing Empath Emotion, Balancing Empath Thought, CRYSTALS FOR EMPATHS, Empath's Life Purpose, Grounding for Empaths by

Did you just read that headline correctly?

Can an Empath become a toxic person?

Sadly, yes. But there’s more to it than you may think…

We may regularly read about the people who are toxic to an Empath, but not often the other way around. But he Empath can become toxic. Both to themselves and to others.

This may come as a surprise, considering all Empaths have a strong sense of empathy, and the last thing they would want is for another to suffer by the energy they emit, or their ways of being.

We will look at how an Empath can become toxic shortly, but first, I would just like to say that although the word toxic sounds a bit extreme, it is simply an easy word to describe something that is harmful not only to self, but also to others. I am not using it in respect of being fatal, causing another’s death or anything like that… Just thought I should point that out before I start 😉.

The thing is, we are currently living in a very tarnished world. It is a world that is purposely triggering us as humans, both physically and energetically. The more our emotions are negatively manipulated, the more negative energy we emit. Which, as you can imagine, is not good for anyone.

As Empaths, we tend to have heightened emotions, and an ability to powerfully project energy. So, the last thing we want is for our low-level emotions to be artificially stimulated, but, sadly, it is happening more and more.

So, without further ado, let’s take a look at some of the common themes that could make an Empath fall under the umbrella of being toxic:

Continue reading →

How I Am Surviving The Crazy Energy

Posted in Balancing Empath Emotion, Balancing Empath Thought, Grounding for Empaths, Protection for the Empath by

Well, we’re back in full throes of the silly season, AKA Christmas.

For the Empaths of the world, this time of year can affect us in some weird and wonderful ways.

I don’t know about you, but each year I seem to have a different December experience. One year might be up, and another might be down, emotionally, physically and energetically. I may want to celebrate the festive season one year, and then the next I may want to avoid it and get away to the sunshine.

This year has been a bit of a one-off. In that it has been kind of hectic, but in a positive way, with lots of socialising and meeting up with friends.  (So much so, it has been difficult to find the time to write a post.) But I have to say I have thoroughly enjoyed it thus far (I know, we still have a way to go yet 😉), and I feel my daily habits are what have kept me so uplifted and in balance.

I wanted to check in with you all because I know how challenging the month of December can be. Not only with all the fluctuating stress energy of the populace, but with lack of daylight, cold weather, and with all the illnesses being passed around.

Because there is so much more stress in the air, it can be difficult for an Empath to stay centred, and things can often become overwhelming. And I know only too well what that feels like.

Within this month, many Empaths feel like they are experiencing a daily emotional and physical hangover, especially in the Northern hemisphere.

Yet, even those Empaths in the sunnier climates may still struggle with December energies.

I remember, many years ago, spending Xmas in Australia, where it is their summer, and I still experienced the similar physical and emotional sensations as I did when in the UK.

So, in case you’re wondering, here are some of the physical and emotional sensations some Empaths experience during this hectic period.

  • Fatigue
  • Headaches
  • Becoming overly emotional
  • Stress
  • Nausea
  • Feeling flu-ish without actually getting flu

There are many more symptoms you could experience. And, yes, I understand all of the above can actually be related to other things or indeed illness. But for many Empaths, having strange physical and emotional symptoms can be a common December theme.

Why Does It Happen?

In my opinion, it is all the different types of stress energy that triggers different responses within us Empaths. Stress can cause many problems within the body.

Most adults in the world experience some type of hassle over Christmas, whether that’s financial, physical, or just having a never-ending to-do list. As you know only too well, stress energy is hard to avoid for those of us who pick up on the energy of others.

The Solution

For that reason, I am sharing with you what I do daily, in the hopes it might help you too…

The following work an absolute treat for keeping me balanced, grounded and happy. And has, so far, helped get me through the silly season.

Hopefully, you’ll be able to find a trick or two that might help you too.

Getting Morning Light

I wrote about the incredible benefits I experienced by daylighting, earlier in the year. It is something I still do every day. No matter the weather, I get outside first thing in the morning, when it’s light, for at least 20 minutes. If it’s raining, I sit under my umbrella. If the conditions are really bad, I open the patio door and see the daylight from there.

I know my neighbours must think I’m completely bonkers (still haven’t got around to telling them what I’m doing), sitting there outside in all weathers, but it has worked a treat for rebalancing, and continues to do so.

I also nip out for snacks of light throughout the day, just for a few minutes.

As a side note, studies have shown that getting vitamin D, especially when absorbed from morning light, raises oxytocin levels. Oxytocin is the feel-good hormone that is super-beneficial to have at this time of year.

Daily Earth Grounding

This is also something I do every morning when I go out to get my morning light.

I usually wear my flip flops to go outside. I flick them off, before placing my bare feet on the grass (yes, it is cold, but bearable).

I realise that the problem many of you have with external winter grounding is the extremely cold earth, especially when there’s a layering of snow or frost. This is where grounding gadgets come in, such as grounding mats or shoes, etc.

I have a grounding mat that I use when the weather is too cold or too wet. Again, I put my bare feet on it. But generally, you have to spend more time on a grounding mat, than you do on the natural earth, to get the full benefits.

You can easily buy grounding mats and products off the internet.

There is a website here in the UK that sells grounding stuff: www.groundology.co.uk Although I have not yet bought anything from them, they seem to come highly recommended. Grounding mats, Grounding Yoga and Fitness mat (groundology.co.uk)

Protective Crystals

When I am out and about in peopled places, I usually wear my crystal bracelets (when I remember to put them on 😉).

Haematite used to be my go-to grounding stone, because it is both grounding and mirroring, and is protective when in busy or stressed places (basically everywhere over the festive period). But I now have another favourite, Black Tourmaline. Not only because it is protective and grounding, but because it is great for EMF protection.

EMF is quietly causing more problems in our world than you may realise. We can’t see it, but just like negative energy, many Empaths are taken down by EMF, and it is known to cause many health problems.

If you don’t own any crystal jewellery, keeping a piece of Black Tourmaline or Haematite with you at all times is a good way to shield yourself from unwanted energy and EMF.

If you want to learn more about the benefits of crystals for an Empath, see here.

Salt Lamps

Salt is so healing and grounding for the body and mind. I am a big fan of using salt, both inside and outside the body. I even drink a couple of glasses of salt water daily.

But something I find incredibly beneficial to use, at this time of year, is Himalayan salt lamps. I have two of them in my bedroom, and use them as bedside lamps.

I turn the salt lamps on a couple of hours before bedtime. And not only do they change the ambience of the bedroom, instantly making the room more relaxing, but they infuse the air with negative ions, which are known to ease anxiety, stress and depression. I feel the salt lamps also help with sleep and overall wellbeing.

Shake it Off

Although it is a crazy time of year, exercise is still something I aim to do every day. I find it incredible, not only for keeping me grounded, but also just for feeling good and uplifted.

However, I also know how busy everyone is at this time of year, and the thought of doing exercise every day can itself cause stress. Something that we want to avoid. So, this is where shaking comes in.

Shaking the body is something I have found to help rid the body of sluggish feelings or those blah moods. The saying, ‘shake it off’ clearly has merit in more ways than one.

Here’s What to Do:

Start by giving each leg a good shake, shake your bottom and your torso, shake your arms and hands, blubber through your lips and wobble your cheeks, run your hands through your hair and give the scalp a good shake (I do not recommend shaking the head as tension is often held in the neck).

Shaking works even better if you can do it with some uplifting funky music playing in the background. The music we love can do incredible things for us Empaths when experiencing energy overload.

The shaking method also works great if you pick up on any anger energy, It clears it from your energy field.

My diet also plays a massive part in my overall wellbeing. But, as I realise Christmas is not the time for that subject, especially with all that delicious festive food around 😉😊😊, I shall save that subject for another time.

Ok, that’s it for me today.

Hope you have found something to help you get through the silly season.

May I take this opportunity to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and an Incredible New Year.

Until next time.

Diane

 

 

Here are some more posts that might help with Xmas stress.

If you need to relax this post will help:  Incredible Relaxation Technique for the Empath

If you pick up on other people’s stress energy and emotions cast your eyes over this: Protection for the Empath

And if you spend time around overly negative people you need to read this: Reasons to Avoid Negative People

 

 

WHAT IS THE EMPATH SHUTDOWN?

Posted in Help for Empaths by

Have you ever been in a certain person’s presence, and found yourself feeling really weird, or even negative, yet having no reason for it? As in, the other person has done nothing to offend or upset you?

Or have you ever found you’ve not been able to talk to a certain person and not really known why? You might find yourself stumbling over your words, or sentences don’t form in your mouth. And again, there’s no real reason. The other person seems perfectly lovely.

This could be all part of The Empath Shutdown.

Here are some more symptoms of how an Empath can act, around certain people, when in Shutdown:

Continue reading →

6 SIGNS AN EMPATH HAS A NEGATIVITY ADDICTION

Posted in Help for Empaths, Mind, Body and Spirit, Protection for the Empath by

Did you even think it was possible to become addicted to negativity?

I mean, it sounds utterly bonkers, doesn’t it?

When we think of addictions, we often just think about the ones related to drugs or alcohol, perhaps even to gambling. But to negativity?

So, how does it work? Continue reading →

WHY DO SO MANY EMPATHS GET A POT BELLY?

Posted in Help for Empaths by

Before I get into today’s post, I just want to let you all know that I have set up a YouTube channel.

I realise a lot of people like to listen to posts, instead of reading them. Hence the channel. The video uploads are short and are different from the ones here are my blog.

So, if you would like to see what it’s all about, and perhaps subscribe, click here.

Now, on to today’s post:

Everyone experiences stress. Empaths in particular. But did you know that not only can this cause problems with your health, it can also be the reason behind weight gain, an inability to lose weight? Continue reading →

SET YOURSELF FREE FROM EMPATH INSECURITIES

Posted in EMPATH EMPOWERMENT, Help for Empaths, Protection for the Empath by

Although it often doesn’t feel like it, we are currently living in some incredible times.

Times where we can move into our own authority and start living the empowered existence that we were meant to live.

However, as nice as it is to think we can sit back and watch as our lives become magically transformed, in these times of change, we still have to put in some work, if we want to see positive changes that last.

And yes, we always have obstacles to overcome in the process.

One of those being facing the insecurities that have been triggered by our Empath traits. Continue reading →

The 4 Types of People an Empath Should Avoid

Posted in EMPATH EMPOWERMENT, Help for Empaths by

If you are an Empath, you will already know that people can impact you in weird and wonderful ways.

Some people can lift you up, some people will drag you down, and some people do none of the above.

Generally speaking, it doesn’t take long to make the determination of how you will be impacted by the people who come into your life. And what I mean by this is, after only a short period of time, spent in a certain person’s presence, you will get to feel their energy and the effect it has on your body and mind.

An Empath quickly comes to understand that if someone’s energy continuously invokes a negative physical or emotional reaction, when in their presence, that it might be best to avoid them.

That said, it’s not always people’s energy which is the problem, instead it is the traits they carry.

So, bearing that in mind, there are some types of people that an Empath is best avoiding. Continue reading →

WHY DO SO MANY EMPATHS SUFFER ADRENAL FATIGUE?

Posted in EMPATH EMPOWERMENT, Empath's Diet, healing for Empaths by

If you read my last article, you may have noticed I mentioned that many Empaths tend to be prone to suffering adrenal fatigue, caused by amygdala activation.

The term adrenal fatigue has been used to explain: a group of symptoms that are said to occur in people who are under long-term mental, emotional, or physical stress.

In case you’re wondering, the adrenals are small organs located above the kidneys that produce stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

The theory is when someone suffers long-term stresses, the body prioritises the production of stress hormones, which then stops or hinders the production of other important hormones (such as progesterone) that are produced by the adrenals.

This then has a knock-on effect throughout the body and the hormones produced.

So, what are the symptoms of adrenal fatigue? Let’s take a look: Continue reading →

CAN SOMEONE BE AN EMPATH WITHOUT HAVING EMPATHY?

Posted in Help for Empaths by

Have you ever wondered whether empathy is built-In? Does it come part and parcel of being an Empath? Or is it something that comes with the journey of life?

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day. He was explaining to me how he was teaching his daughter the impact of her actions, and how teasing or making fun of other children was not a kind thing to do. Which then led to the discussion as to whether telling your child is enough? Or do they have to experience unkindness from others for them to understand the impact of cruelty.

It got me thinking… If I hadn’t been on the receiving end of cruel words, as a child, would I have the same empathy and understanding as I do now? In that I always try to consider the effect of my words, and will avoid saying something that may hurt or offend another. Or, did my empathy come part and parcel of being an Empath?

Let’s face it, there aren’t many children who sail through life without getting bullied or teased for one thing or another.

I’m sure you all have memories of being picked on by someone, whether that be an older sibling, parent, teacher or other. I don’t think anyone really escapes. And whether sensitive or not, the effects of being on the receiving end of cruel words in childhood can be carried for a lifetime. Continue reading →

The Incredible Way Nature Can Heal An Empath Of Emotional Toxicity

Posted in EMPATH EMPOWERMENT, Grounding for Empaths, Help for Empaths by

You may have heard the term emotional toxicity, but didn’t really know what it entailed or whether it applied to you or not.

So, in today’s post, I will walk you through some of the symptoms and then discuss how spending time in Nature offers natural incredible healing.

When we become emotionally toxic, it is most often caused by either having experienced a stressful event, from having a diet and lifestyle that does not agree with us, or even from contaminants in our environments or WIFI.

On top of that, as Empaths, we can also experience emotional toxicity by experiencing or absorbing too many negative emotions.

When we become overwhelmed with emotions, whether they be ours or those we lift from others, the ability to properly filter our feelings becomes compromised. Our insecurities resurface and we often become vulnerable and emotionally intoxicated.

Here are some other ways we can be affected by emotional toxicity:

Signs of Being Emotionally Toxic

1.  We don’t feel ourself

This is the biggest sign we are emotionally toxic; not feeling like our usual self. Its almost as if our energy is stagnant and sludgy, and we lack the energy to find ways to snap ourselves out of it.

2. We lack motivation

If we become lethargic in both our body and mind, and don’t feel like trying anything new, this could be another sign of emotional toxicity. Especially if you once considered yourself as a bit of a go-getter. When our vitality diminishes, it becomes an effort to make decisions or to stay on top of everyday tasks.  Continue reading →

EMPATHS IT’S TIME TO USE THIS INCREDIBLE POWER

Posted in EMPATH EMPOWERMENT, Grounding for Empaths, Help for Empaths, Mind, Body and Spirit, Protection for the Empath by

In many of my posts, I write about techniques that Empaths can used to protect themselves from the rigours of Empath life (here, here, here and here).

What I probably haven’t mentioned, in many of these posts, is that several of these protection techniques also act as powerful forms of distraction that work in so many empowering ways.

Distracting the mind from pain, whether physical, spiritual or mental, is an incredible tool which we often forget about using to our advantage…

Examples

There are many occasions when we use techniques to distract the mind without necessarily realising.  When experiencing hunger pain, for example, if all you think about is food, you’ll remain hungry. If you engage your mind, with work or some tasks, your hunger quickly vanishes.

Another example can be seen in yoga: Whilst moving through the poses we might focus on ujjayi breath and holding bandhas (physical and energetic locks). By doing this, not only does it help direct prana, but the mind is focused and taken off the physical challenge of the pose. This also has the effect of taking the attention away from the stresses of everyday life. Which in turn contributes to a calm yet uplifted mindset after practise.

There are many other examples I could discuss, but, instead, let’s get straight to the easy distraction techniques you can use in your everyday life to stay empowered and on top:

1. Stay in Your Passions:

Doing what you love is so empowering during these challenging times. Not only does engaging in your passions work as a powerful distraction, but doing things that lighten your soul, and bring a sense of peace and joy to your life, will lift you up like nothing else.

If you don’t feel like you have anything to fit that bill, it is the perfect time to start experimenting with hobbies and pastimes, or just get creative.

In a world of rules, routine and restrictions, people seldom get time to be creative. But spending time creatively is one of the easiest ways to revel in the feel-good-factor. When you feel good you also feel grounded and centred. When creating from your passions, or interests, it has an uplifting effect and keeps the mind away from dark thoughts and feelings. A must for all Empaths.

2. Listen to Uplifting Music and Sing!:

Listening to the songs that move you in all the right ways can instil such a sense of joy and euphoria. If you know the words, sing along. It is incredible how much you can be uplifted by the music you love. It envelops your body and mind in the most powerful vibrations and distracts the attention in all the right ways. Singing along can itself be meditative. (Researcher, Gunter Kreutz, also discovered singing increases cortisol and other chemicals involved in healing.)

Music can go both ways. My advice would be to avoid music that encourages melancholy or brings back difficult memories, even if you enjoy the song.

UNCOVER THE SECRETS OF AN EMPATH

3. Use Your Pen and Paper

This may sound strange. How can pen and paper help distract the mind? Well, when you write things down, for example with what you want to do going forward in life, you connect with your right brain which helps keep you in creative mode. There is something about handwriting, as opposed to tapping words out on a computer, that helps activate our creative mind. When the creative mind is activated, as opposed to the logical left mind, you also receive more revelations in regards to what is currently happening in your life, or in our world, and can help you see the ‘bigger picture’.

In regards of to what to write about, either let your heart-mind guide you to what is right for you, or make notes on how you would like your future to be.

4. Get Near Trees:

This might sound like the hippiest statement ever, but spend as much time around trees as you can. Gaze upon them. Even go as far as hugging a tree. This not only has the effect of distracting the mind from the darkness in the world, but it takes you into a place of calm and healing. Let’s face it, we wouldn’t be alive if we didn’t have trees and greenery. There is so much wisdom and healing energy around trees (this post explains more), and that is exactly what many of us need right now to clear, rebalance and reset from the demands of Empath life.

5. Stop Doing Things That Bore You:

This isn’t so much a form of distraction. More a form of empowerment.  Feeling bored or unengaged by things that you used to enjoy, or were once an interest, is going to bring you down fast. If you are finding hobbies, lifestyles, or even people, you used to love, have stopped being pleasurable, maybe it’s time you stopped engaging in them, or at least have a break and see if you miss them. Perhaps try a new hobby instead.

6. Exercise:

Engaging in physical activity is a brilliant way to distract the mind from overwhelm or uncomfortable feelings. It’s also a fantastic way to keep the body and mind healthy. Depending on how you feel should depend on what is the best form of exercise to create balance within the body and mind.

If you are feeling lethargic and tired, some type of HIIT training (High intensity interval exercise) is super beneficial. It is also the best exercise for releasing human growth hormone.  HGH is a hormone that naturally elevates our moods, raises physical energy and keeps the mind in a more positive space. I have attached a link here to a 20-minute HIIT video on YouTube that can be done by most fitness levels (it is even beneficial to do if you suffer chronic fatigue). Just be sure to start slow, at your own level and don’t force your body into anything it’s not ready for.

If you are the opposite of being lethargic, and feel wired or hyper, then breath-and-bandha-focused yoga will help bring you back to a state of equilibrium, whilst also working as a distraction for the mind.

The reason I recommend breath-and-bandha-focused yoga is because, speaking from experience, it can be easy for the mind to wander and remain unfocused in yoga practice. When practising using the breath and bandhas simultaneously, however, it takes your yoga practice to another level. Here’s a couple of links to videos, of how to engage yogic breath and bandhas, on YouTube:

Breath and Bandhas

Yoga Breathing

Walking, whilst engaging your focus on your scenery/surroundings, is also fantastic for both high and low energy levels. Out near trees, even better!

The Biggest Obstacles

One of the biggest hurdles we face, when empowering the body and mind, is that when we are stressed or feel out of sorts, by the happenings in the world or indeed just Empath life, we often don’t feel like doing anything. We get so wrapped up in what we feel that we don’t think about anything else. But, when in a state of unease, this is the perfect time to use the power of distraction to engage the mind.

If you want to use clever distractions to your advantage, my advice would be to engage in them the moment you feel your mind wandering into ‘darker territory’ or, even better, find something you can do daily that keeps you in a state of empowerment…

Hope this helps you on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

HOW THE 10TH MAN CAN HELP WHEN NO ONE IS LISTENING

Posted in Help for Empaths by

Have you ever been with a group of people, where everyone is talking about a subject that you don’t necessarily agree with but go along with their narrative, just to keep the peace?

If you answered yes, you are certainly not the only one. It is human nature to want to stay in harmony with our inner circle, family and friends, even if that means going against our beliefs.

The 10th Man Rule, which we will look at closer shortly, is a way of challenging our innate character of wanting to ‘keep the peace’ and, instead of sitting with what is easy or comfortable, it challenges us to look at things from another perspective.

So how can this help?

The fact that humans are pack animals, tending to travel through life in herds, following in the footsteps of the one in front, even when the herd are going in the opposite direction to the desired route, is a reason to apply the rule…

Following the pack may seem the safest option, it is after all when we step away from the herd that we become vulnerable to attack. Yet, if we simply follow along with the rest, in regards to rules, regulations and ideas, without question, are we living in alignment with our truth? And where will it lead us?

Question Everything

When we don’t question the official narrative and don’t think for ourselves, we are not really living, but simply existing. We are living by someone else’s opinion of how our reality should be and following rules that don’t always make sense or feel right.

Not only that, too many people are blindsided to the fact that those who make decisions for the rest of us, otherwise known as ‘the powers that be,’ might not have our best interests at heart. And decisions they make on our behalf, are not only infringing on our freedoms, but may actually be putting us in danger and taking away the experiences we were destined to have.

I completely understand why people follow rules without question. For one thing it is instinctual and, the sad truth is, those who query ‘the official narrative,’ or the accounts of the mainstream media, often get attacked, ridiculed or accused of spouting conspiracy theories.

It is often easier to stay quiet than to share an opposite opinion.

Then there is the fact that when we suggest, to certain people, a differing opinion to their own, we come up against their ego. A strong egoic mind doesn’t like to listen to another person’s opinion, if it crosses theirs, because the ego always knows best.

We also have to battle against many cases of cognitive dissonance. See below for an explanation…

The simple fact is too many people are choosing to ignore the hypocrisy not only of the mainstream media but also of those ruling the world. Generally, because it is either the safer or easier option.

Yet, as you have probably found out yourself in life, the easy option rarely turns out to be the best choice in the long run.

The Wrong Solution

Take the situation that is currently happening in the world due to government decisions. It has becoming increasingly obvious, in regards to the past lockdowns, etc, that the solution to preventing the spread of a virus, has caused more harm to the human race than the initial problem (suicides, unemployment, a huge decline in mental health, to name of a few examples…).

But how does anyone speak out, against the official narrative, when they are viciously attacked for holding a different opinion to the media or governments and the people who are trusting of them?

We are supposed to live in a democracy and have freewill, but it is amazing how many freedoms people happily give away if they believe they are keeping themselves, and their families, safe.

Several months ago, in a post, I advised against arguing with others or trying to get them to see your point of view, if they are not willing to listen. It just leads to frustration and anger, often from both parties. However, as things in this world are becoming darker, more freedoms are being taken away and lives endangered, it might be time to try a different approach.

WHAT CAN YOU DO WHEN NO ONE IS LISTENING?

If you want to start a conversation, with friends or family, about the current state of the world, or any other issue, and you don’t want to be put down or attacked for your views, why not try using the concept of the 10th Man Rule?

A good way to use this is by explaining that some groups/countries use the 10th Man concept as a way to keep people safe and stop them from following their intrinsic herd nature.

I came across a good explanation online:

The 10th Man discipline is one where the group intentionally appoints at least one person to serve as the loyal dissenter. “Loyal” because their underlying motive is to arrive at the best decision for the organization. And, as the dissenter, they not only have permission but a duty to disagree and ‘poke holes’ in assumptions being made by the group. This technique forces you to slow down and re-consider the wisdom of the decision and whether contingency planning or other risk mitigation might be worthwhile.

Read the full article here The 10th Man Rule (strive.com)

What we are seeing in the world today is a direct consequence of people following the herd, not asking questions, or using their own initiative. As well as people being too afraid to speak out against those who have differing opinions.

But by playing the part of the 10th Man, it could help those following the dictated narrative to see from another perspective…

It might also help people understand that it is not a bad thing to have our beliefs challenged, especially in regards to the current tyranny we are seeing in the world.

Ok, I shall leave it at that for today.

Hope all is keeping well in your world.

Until next time,

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

IS TRUMP A LIGHTWORKER?

Posted in Ascension Related by

Now, this may seem like a strange topic for a blog that discusses ways for Empaths to find balance. The reason the above question came about is because I happened upon a YouTube clip with the heading: Is Trump a Lightworker… For all the obvious reasons, it stopped me in my tracks. So, of course, I felt obliged to watch it…

Whilst watching the video, it got me thinking about a post I had started writing a few weeks ago but never got around to finishing, about NPCs, which I will come to shortly.

Normally, I would never cover such a topic, because if there’s one thing that creates absolute anger and division in the masses, it is talking about the current president of the United Sates. However, because there is a purpose to it, I thought I would take my chances and put myself in the firing line.

Anyone who follows my blog regularly may know I’m not a big fan of politics. It is not something that has ever interested me. I find the whole business frustratingly deceitful and I’ve always been of the mind that all politicians are as bad as each other, in that they lie to serve an agenda and make laws that keep people in servitude of a corrupt system. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t observe what is going on and I still have opinions.

When It First Happened

When the candidates for the last USA election were announced, my friends were discussing the subject. They asked me what I thought about Trump. At the time, I didn’t know he was running for president or who he was running against. I was shocked. He was a business man not a politician. But I remember thinking it sounded like a good idea. A super-successful business tycoon who ran a lucrative global empire seemed like a great option for a president.

I could not say I was surprised when Trump got in, change is always a good thing, but I was surprised by how much hatred it stirred up. After all, there is always a loser in an election. Why was this one so different?

Mass Hysteria

Whatever part of the world you live in, you cannot help but see the effect Trump has had on people. He has everyone divided. His presence is triggering some people, putting them into a meltdown, and for others he is the shining light of hope. There has got to be a reason. Right?

The Lightworker Part

Anyone who has walked a spiritual path or has an understanding of energy healing and such, will consider a lightworker as someone who works to raise the vibration of the world, to intentionally spread love and light and to help others. They want to make the world a better place for everyone and work hard to do it. They also help people to help themselves if even inadvertently.

However, there are also people who work as lightworkers but not necessarily in a nice way. In fact, these lightworkers can trigger us in the most unpleasant ways. They ‘press our buttons’ and seemingly make life difficult. These are who I would class as being the unlikely lightworkers or NPCs.

If you have never heard of the term before, here is an online description of an NPC:

Short for non-player character, an NPC or vendor is a character or monster who is controlled by the computer and not a real person. An NPC helps add life to a game by creating artificial players, each with their own abilities or personalities.

Although the term NPC originated within the gaming industry, it is frequently used to describe certain living people. NPCs are the people whose main purpose is to act as an antagonist; they play the ‘role’ of making one person’s ‘life-game’ more challenging. For others, however, these people cause no problems and have no triggering effects.

Dolores Cannon called NPCs the backdrop people. Those who trigger us in uncomfortable ways. We may not even know why we don’t like them; they just repel us or give us obstacles to overcome. They make us question ourselves, cause hurt and pain or just make life tough. But they also serve another purpose.

Ultimately, the role of an NPC, helps us become wiser, stronger, more understanding and more determined to succeed. Even if that determination was not to turn out like them.

I have been aware of NPCs for some time, but it is only recently that I am acknowledging the parts they play in our evolvement.

NPCs are here more for our growth rather than for their own. They help us evolve and achieve what it is we came here to do. They often bring out our ‘shadow side’, which we then have to face.

It is interesting that Trump acts as an NPC for some, and yet for others he is seen as a beacon of light. People all over the earth paint him as either the saint or the sinner. Millions of people will argue about all the evil acts he has orchestrated, and then there are millions who will argue about all the good he does, believing he is part of the solution to building a brighter new world.

So, whatever your opinion on Trump and whether he is a lightworker or not, his presence is certainly triggering people in profoundly mysterious ways. This clearly has a higher purpose which is certainly worth pondering on.

I urge you to watch the video for yourself. See what you think.

Until next time,

Diane.

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©Diane Kathrine

Are you a Narcissist Target?

Posted in Balancing Empath Emotion, Balancing Empath Thought, Grounding for Empaths, Help for Empaths, Protection for the Empath by

One thing all Empaths will have endured at some point on their journey is a person who behaves in a narcissistic way. For some, however, it is part of their everyday life.

When I use the term narcissist target, in the headline, I am referring to anyone who has been on the receiving end of a narcissist’s attention. This can be via their initial charm through to their lies and manipulation.

But the question has to be, why do Empaths so often end up in the firing line?

One explanation is because of the ‘light’ an Empath carries inside. It’s a light that might be considered, by certain individuals, as a weakness or something that can be controlled. Yet that isn’t the only reason. Before we come to that, we will take a quick peek at the traits of a narcissist.

Traits of a Narcissist

Some of the better-known traits are: high self-esteem, a distinct lack of empathy, excessive self-admiration and a tendency towards selfish or resentful behaviours. But there’s more…

One-sidedness, a manipulative nature, unrealistic expectations of others, an excess need for control, and a huge sympathy deficiency can also fall under the same umbrella. It is these traits that often cause problems for the Empaths.

Why Empaths Attract Narcissists

Over the years, I have discussed the subject of why narcissists attract Empaths and vice versa in other posts and books (here, here, and here). It is my belief that although at opposite ends of the spectrum, both Empaths and narcissists are sensitive people and highly reactive.

Like attracts like. Sensitive attracts sensitive. Yet, one of the biggest reasons why Empaths are so often targeted and end up in the firing line of those with a narcissistic personality is because of their keen observational skills.

The Reflecting Empath

An Empath doesn’t just listen to a person’s dialogue, they observe tone and usage of words, they notice body movements, facial expressions, and they see things that others try to mask. This causes an issue for those who do not want to be ‘seen.’ Particularly when they are hiding something.

A narcissist never wants to be wrong, never wants to be seen as the ‘bad guy’ and wants others to think highly of them. But an Empath often acts like a mirror. Even if they don’t point out the narcissist’s concealed traits verbally, they will be reflected back. (This is discussed more in the Mirror of the Empath.) An Empath reflects truth. They will see it hidden behind any façade, no matter how tightly knitted.

If the finely polished veneer of a narcissist is threatened in any way, especially with exposure, they will attack. They often concoct outlandish stories to discredit an Empath, or anyone who reveals their truth, and blame them for the actions that they carried out themselves. They target those considered a threat.

Generally, a narcissist will not face the truth of who they are, if it makes them appear wrong or in any way a bad person. They convince themselves that it is everyone else who is at fault.

Being Repelled

Even if you have a strong repulsion towards narcissists, and avoid them like the plague, you can still be on the receiving end of their wrath, or end up as a target. Narcissists like to be praised and feel special. They want respect and if they are not shown it, they tend to lash out. If you have bruised a narcissist’s ego, by not giving them the respect they think is deserved, then expect to face a backlash.

The Good News

The good news is that narcissists can work as a catalyst on an Empath’s journey. Although it will not feel like it at the time, but anything that ignites insecurities, emotional injuries, victim mentality or personal challenges, can also push an Empath towards transformation. The darkness reveals the inner light. It encourages us to work on ourselves, which in turn takes us to a higher vantage point.

It is often the case that the more challenges an Empath faces the wiser they become and the greater their understanding of life.

I am certainly not suggesting that constant suffering is the perfect formula for enlightenment, but we come to a point when we understand why we have endured such difficulties. We can then see how they shaped us into becoming better people.

Avoiding Excessive Emotional Reactions

Life really is an obstacle course. It gives rise to many uncomfortable and painful experiences. However, if we have an emotional reaction to everything a narcissist, or anyone else, says or does then we put ourselves on a fast-tracked path to self-destruction.

We have to train ourself out of excessive emotional reactions, avoid wallowing in our own misery and not be tempted into revenge. Not that revenge is ever on an Empath’s radar, but it is very easy to think, ‘I’ll show them.’ Or to have the belief that if I say or do nothing, they are getting away with it. This will just lead to more lies and more attacks. We must not forget there is a greater force than ourselves at work that creates balance… Karma.

KARMA

Having been observing the world for many years, I have seen the law of attraction and karma work over and over. People may seem to get away with treating others atrociously, then, suddenly, karma catches up.

Everything goes around. Karma keeps each of us responsible for our behaviour.

Dealing with the Problem

So, finally, the question is, what can we do about being a narcissist target? Well, one thing is for sure, we will not change the mind of a narcissist, or those who have an over-inflated ego, if it makes them to appear wrong. If they have decided it is us who is at fault, it is unlikely we will get them to admit otherwise. We can only change ourself and our reactions. Take back our power.

The best way to react is with no reaction and don’t be drawn into conflicts designed to pull you down or make you feel bad. Now, when I say react with no reaction, I am not saying lie down and let someone trample all over you. Simply walk away. Avoid feeding your fear or pain by getting upset at the lies they may spread.

When you continuously focus on something or someone your attention feeds the energy. Remember: where your focus goes your energy flows.

Life really is too short to waste your precious time on those who steal your joy and drain your energy.

When you walk away or show no interest in their lies, they move on. The more lives they touch, with manipulative ways, the sooner their truth is revealed.

By avoiding excessive emotional reactions, it also helps keep one’s vibration raised. Yes, I know, easier said than done. But by getting in control of the mind and working to stay grounded, it helps us better control our emotional reactions. (This is where mind-stilling though breathing techniques, meditation and yoga can come in handy.)

Stay in gratitude and it will keep you in a ‘higher space.’ Keep pushing forward! Stay in your light and don’t let anyone extinguish it!

Next time we delve a little deeper into the increase in Empath emotional reactions.

Until next time.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

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Can An Empath Really Feel Other People’s Emotions?

Posted in Balancing Empath Emotion, Grounding for Empaths, Help for Empaths by

The answer to the above question is yes. An Empath really can feel the emotions of others.

The problem is we don’t always know how it makes us react.

What I mean by this is, the emotional energy of those we come into contact with can have a huge impact; not only on how we feel but on how we behave. It can push us towards being more introverted than what is natural, it can trigger insecurities or even make us feel unwell.

How Does an Empath Know How to Interpret Emotional Energy?

Interpreting emotional energy is a tricky area. We can so easily misconstrue what we feel. I know I certainly have with different people over the years.

In my teen years I had a friend who, for the purpose of this post, I will call Sarah. I met Sarah at high school. She came from a broken home. But nothing in her outward persona gave off insecurities about her parents’ divorce. She was a bright vivacious girl. Sarah was popular, good at sport and academically minded. And although she did not seem affected by the breakdown of her parents’ marriage, the way she felt to me told another story (I just didn’t know it at the time).

I didn’t know Sarah when her parents split, so I cannot attest to how she was prior to the breakup. But, whenever I was with her, I felt insecure and unstable. At the time I assumed it was ‘just me’ and my own teenage insecurities that made me feel awful when in her presence.

I continued to hang out with Sarah, along with my other friends, after school and into my late teens. But I never enjoyed spending time alone with her. In fact, she used to comment on how quiet I was when it was just the two of us. But I couldn’t help it, I felt myself freeze up when with her.

In her late teens, Sarah ended up getting into the ‘rave/drug scene,’ which was so popular in the late eighties and early nighties here in Manchester. From there she very quickly went downhill. Her childhood trauma evidently caught up with her, which was quickly heightened by her drug use. I would get early morning phone calls off her, telling me that she was frightened and needed to talk immediately. When I turned up at her home, she would not acknowledge the phone call or admit there being a problem. If I tried to talk to her about it, she would quickly change the subject.

Because of her lifestyle choice, Sarah drifted from me and my group of friends. Within a couple of years, Sarah’s mind was no longer her own. She became mentally unstable and was in and out of mental health units.

I lost touch with Sarah many years ago. I have heard through the grapevine that she is still a troubled soul and a shadow of her former ‘happy-go-lucky’ teenage self.

At the time, I may not have understood what I felt in Sarah, but I can still remember how it impacted me. She may have hidden from her pain, but it was loud and clear for me to feel. It gave me a sense of feeling insecure and awkward.

Hidden Pain

Another example of my sensing hidden pain which I didn’t understand in another is with someone who I will refer to as Mrs Smith. I was probably in my twenties, with no real understanding of my Empath ways, when I first encountered Mrs Smith. I remember feeling particularly uncomfortable with her, but in a different way than I had felt with Sarah. The memory of which has also stayed with me for many years.

I have attended the same gym, on and off, since my twenties. It is the type of gym, like many others, where you know people’s faces but don’t know their names or their backstories, and it was here where I first encountered Mrs Smith, when we were paired up in a yoga class:

The best way I could describe Mrs Smith’s energy, on my first encounter with her, was as a self-absorbed vibe. I wasn’t sure why but I did not enjoy being in her presence. I remember back then that she was sometimes arrogant and acted like she was the only person in the room worthy of the teacher’s attention. I felt naturally repelled by her. Over the years, as I came and went from the gym, our paths rarely crossed, until I started doing classes regularly again.

On my first re-encounter, I remember being stood in the studio, waiting for the class to start, when Mrs Smith came behind me. I immediately reacted. All I can say is I felt rage inside. I wanted to get away from her because the feelings I experienced were so unbearable (which also made me feel guilt for wanting to escape her). I didn’t remember feeling ‘this bad’ with her before.

The thing is, Mrs Smith looked happy. She chatted to others in the class and made her presence known. From the outside you would never think anything untoward was going on. But every time I came close to her, if only in passing, I was engulfed with a sense of dread or rage. By this point I knew I was an Empath and I recognised that I was feeling her energy. It was so potent that it was hard for me to block it or distract myself.

I didn’t even have to see Mrs Smith to feel her energy, it would wash over me like a dark gloom, even when she was out of eyeline.

When I don’t know them personally, I sometimes find that by making eye contact with people, who trigger emotional reactions within me, it has the effect of lessening the impact. But as Mrs Smith never looked my way, often breezing by me like I was invisible(this is common when those in pain come near an Empath see this post to learn more), all I could do was quietly inch myself away.

Sadly, a couple of years ago, Mrs Smith committed suicide.

Everyone who knew Mrs Smith at the gym were shocked by how she could do such a thing. They had no idea that she was in such a dark place. But facts emerged about her life after her passing, that she had not shared with others, which explained her story. It also explained why I felt such rage in her presence. It was a very sad ending to a life of pain.

When an Image Does Not Reflect the Truth

I could go on with examples of how people have affected me emotionally, and how an ‘image’ does not always reflect the truth. A smile can hide deep pain. Arrogance can hide an incredible lack of self-worth.

Humans are good at concealing insecurities and their inner turmoil, but an Empath will always feel them.

When engulfed by negative emotions, after being around a certain person, it doesn’t mean the other is a bad person. We are often just picking up on what the person feels about themselves or about life.

Is there a Solution?

So, the question is what we should do when we feel toxic emotions in another. Should we intervene or avoid?

When people hide from themselves, or are in denial of their past, there is not a lot we can do to help them. If they are not ready or willing to confront their insecurities or ‘shadow,’ they will unlikely want others to acknowledge them either.

A Few Kind Words

Self-protection is important. Sometimes staying away from those who trigger uncomfortable feelings is the best and only option. However, there are ways we can make a difference to those in hidden emotional pain, without doing too much damage to our own emotional health, by offering a few kind words.

Words of self-encouragement or just simple friendliness can go a long way. Not only in changing the way the other feels to us, but also in how they feel about themselves (if only briefly).

We can be inclined to avoid those who make us feel bad, but sometimes briefly making contact actually helps them and us. It can have the effect of ‘breaking the emotional connection,’ and distracts us from what we feel.

Some might find it better to mentally send ‘positive vibes’ instead. It really depends on how the energy of another affects you and your mind.

Of course, this is a broad subject with many different scenarios. But it is always good to have different approaches to survive in different situations.

Please feel free to share examples of how you cope when around people who carry ‘uncomfortable energy’ in the comments below.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time…

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

 

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