Why are Emotional Reactions in Empaths on the Increase?

Being an Empath means having emotional reactions is part of everyday life. Whether that be having a reaction to someone else’s emotional energy, having a reaction to what someone said or did, or just being triggered by what is going on in the world at large. But when emotional reactions become excessive and controlling, to the point of ruling our happiness, thoughts and decisions, we need to take back control.

What is an Emotional Reaction?

Emotional reactions can be both good and bad. Feeling incredible joy and happiness are of course emotional reactions. But the type I am referring to, that seem to be on the increase, are the all-consuming darker emotions such as: anger, rage, hurt, etc. All of which can lead to an anxious state or depression.

Having emotional reactions is part of human nature. They are a huge feature on the journey of life. However, having near constant negative emotions, triggered by our own reactions, not only makes us unhappy, it can hold us back from reaching our true potential. We can become so wrapped up in all that we feel that life passes us by. We miss out on so much joy and we become a slave to our thoughts and emotions.

Something I have noticed in recent years is that as humans we are not handling life well. And I am not just talking about Empaths and HSPs. As a species, we seem to be in more emotional pain than ever before. We are offended and upset over things that might not have touched us at one time. People are struggling with mental health issues such as depression, panic attacks and anxiety to such a degree that it is ruining lives.

The Epidemic

A couple of weeks ago, whilst out and about, we bumped into a friend of my husband who has worked in the fire service for over twenty years and is coming up for retirement. He was telling us about how many ex-servicemen, whether that be the forces, police or fire brigade, are struggling with mental health issues and PTSD, especially after retirement. He also noted how twenty years ago this was not the way. Stress related illness was hardly heard of within the services. Now it is rife. I asked whether this was because people didn’t talk about their issues all those years ago. He disagreed. Apparently, after leaving the service most just got on with life and enjoyed retirement. Now they are dreading the time when they come to step down.

‘Over-feeling’ certainly seems to be a modern-day curse. That is not to say mental health issues are a recent thing, but it is obvious people aren’t coping well with life. Is this because times have got harder? I’m not so sure.

We don’t have to go too far into our history books to see how difficult our ancestors had it. Even looking at the history in my local area there were extremely difficult living conditions such as: dangerous working environments in coal mines and cotton mills for both adults and children, a scarcity of food, poor sanitation, extreme poverty, etc. Many women died in childbirth. Workers would die young because of work-related illness. Young men lost their lives in wars and witnessed atrocities that scarred them for life. Sufferings existed back then that most in the modern Western world will never know.

When we study our past, it makes modern day problems pale in comparison. With all the technological advancements and wealth we have today you would think we were living in a golden era compared to one-hundred years ago, but it has not bought happiness and balance with it.

What is Happening?

Trauma, in one shape or another, is something humans have faced for an eternity. Why is it now we are not handling it? Clearly, something has shifted.

There are obviously a number of explanations for the current unsettled mood epidemic. Hormonal imbalances caused by diet, plastics and environmental factors play a part, as do having too many choices, social media toxicity, not being in touch with our truth, not knowing what we are here for, feeling alone and losing faith. Also Earth changes.

I have discussed Earth changes over the years, moving from one epoch to another and how these changes impact humans (read here, here and here). I do believe that the ascension process is also a major reason behind what we are seeing today. Almost like a mass hysteria triggered by ‘the shift,’ as we adjust to the rules of a new reality. There are many others out there who write about Earth changes and the ascension process. I prefer to focus on offering the tools that help make transitions easier.

But whatever is causing this dark emotion epidemic, I think you would agree that people have suffered enough. It’s time to take back control.

We have to take part in making positive changes happen, by getting back in control of how we each experience life. The problem is, people are too busy trying to change others and their way of thinking, instead of working to change and accept themselves.

Change the Inside to Change the Outside

When we work on our inner-world our outer-world reflects this. It has a knock-on effect. Not only do we become better people, able to cope with life’s ups and downs, but those around us are also impacted in a positive way.

We have the power within to master ourselves and work to train ourselves out of excessive emotional reactions. Much of the information I put out on this blog are ways to do just that.

A couple of posts ago, I discussed some ways to prevent or handle anxiety and panic attacks (21 in fact) through numerous holistic techniques and lifestyle changes. All of which will also help with overcoming excessive emotional reactions and other Empath afflictions. (Read more here)

Distraction

Distracting the mind from engaging in destructive thoughts helps stop it from going into overdrive. Now, when I say distraction, I do not mean suppression.

Distraction is taking away our mind from unnecessary repetitive thoughts. When we distract our mind and body from feeding emotions it helps prevent unnecessary emotional reactions. Suppression is burying something that needs to be addressed.

When we bury what needs to be faced or don’t deal with things we should, the stress lingers within the body and comes up as something else, often physical symptoms or anxiety.

We supress when we do not know how to handle the memory caused by a trauma or betrayal. We stuff the pain away and put it under lock and key. Hoping it will stay buried. But the body does not want the trauma stored within its cells and it will try to release it, often through emotional reactions.

This is where talking helps.

Talking

People often heal when they feel heard. Discussing your emotional pain with someone you trust can make a big impact on lightening the load. However, talking is not for everyone.

We might not want to talk about our trauma and pain because of the emotional memories that get stirred up. For some, talking about their past traumas can ignite anxiety or panic attacks.

If you are not ready to talk about what pains you, writing it down helps. Write down all your troubles and woes. Write what you want to say to another, tell them how they hurt you. Write down who you think you are or who you want to be. Write down what you feel needs to be released. Then burn the paper after. These words are not to be read again. It is a way of releasing them from within. Not something to fester on. Burning the words somehow helps to clear the emotions attached.

Taking back control of emotions is no easy feat. As Empaths we have to work daily on this, even when we feel ok. By taking preventative steps every day, it means we can stay in control of how we feel when the going gets tough.

For more ways to stay in control of emotional reactions see here and here.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

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15Feb2020

Are you a Narcissist Target?

Posted in Balancing Empath Emotion, Balancing Empath Thought, Grounding for Empaths, Help for Empaths, Protection for the Empath by Diane Kathrine

One thing all Empaths will have endured at some point on their journey is a person who behaves in a narcissistic way. For some, however, it is part of their everyday life.

When I use the term narcissist target, in the headline, I am referring to anyone who has been on the receiving end of a narcissist’s attention. This can be via their initial charm through to their lies and manipulation.

But the question has to be, why do Empaths so often end up in the firing line?

One explanation is because of the ‘light’ an Empath carries inside. It’s a light that might be considered, by certain individuals, as a weakness or something that can be controlled. Yet that isn’t the only reason. Before we come to that, we will take a quick peek at the traits of a narcissist.

Traits of a Narcissist

Some of the better-known traits are: high self-esteem, a distinct lack of empathy, excessive self-admiration and a tendency towards selfish or resentful behaviours. But there’s more…

One-sidedness, a manipulative nature, unrealistic expectations of others, an excess need for control, and a huge sympathy deficiency can also fall under the same umbrella. It is these traits that often cause problems for the Empaths.

Why Empaths Attract Narcissists

Over the years, I have discussed the subject of why narcissists attract Empaths and vice versa in other posts and books (here, here, and here). It is my belief that although at opposite ends of the spectrum, both Empaths and narcissists are sensitive people and highly reactive.

Like attracts like. Sensitive attracts sensitive. Yet, one of the biggest reasons why Empaths are so often targeted and end up in the firing line of those with a narcissistic personality is because of their keen observational skills.

The Reflecting Empath

An Empath doesn’t just listen to a person’s dialogue, they observe tone and usage of words, they notice body movements, facial expressions, and they see things that others try to mask. This causes an issue for those who do not want to be ‘seen.’ Particularly when they are hiding something.

A narcissist never wants to be wrong, never wants to be seen as the ‘bad guy’ and wants others to think highly of them. But an Empath often acts like a mirror. Even if they don’t point out the narcissist’s concealed traits verbally, they will be reflected back. (This is discussed more in the Mirror of the Empath.) An Empath reflects truth. They will see it hidden behind any façade, no matter how tightly knitted.

If the finely polished veneer of a narcissist is threatened in any way, especially with exposure, they will attack. They often concoct outlandish stories to discredit an Empath, or anyone who reveals their truth, and blame them for the actions that they carried out themselves. They target those considered a threat.

Generally, a narcissist will not face the truth of who they are, if it makes them appear wrong or in any way a bad person. They convince themselves that it is everyone else who is at fault.

Being Repelled

Even if you have a strong repulsion towards narcissists, and avoid them like the plague, you can still be on the receiving end of their wrath, or end up as a target. Narcissists like to be praised and feel special. They want respect and if they are not shown it, they tend to lash out. If you have bruised a narcissist’s ego, by not giving them the respect they think is deserved, then expect to face a backlash.

The Good News

The good news is that narcissists can work as a catalyst on an Empath’s journey. Although it will not feel like it at the time, but anything that ignites insecurities, emotional injuries, victim mentality or personal challenges, can also push an Empath towards transformation. The darkness reveals the inner light. It encourages us to work on ourselves, which in turn takes us to a higher vantage point.

It is often the case that the more challenges an Empath faces the wiser they become and the greater their understanding of life.

I am certainly not suggesting that constant suffering is the perfect formula for enlightenment, but we come to a point when we understand why we have endured such difficulties. We can then see how they shaped us into becoming better people.

Avoiding Excessive Emotional Reactions

Life really is an obstacle course. It gives rise to many uncomfortable and painful experiences. However, if we have an emotional reaction to everything a narcissist, or anyone else, says or does then we put ourselves on a fast-tracked path to self-destruction.

We have to train ourself out of excessive emotional reactions, avoid wallowing in our own misery and not be tempted into revenge. Not that revenge is ever on an Empath’s radar, but it is very easy to think, ‘I’ll show them.’ Or to have the belief that if I say or do nothing, they are getting away with it. This will just lead to more lies and more attacks. We must not forget there is a greater force than ourselves at work that creates balance… Karma.

KARMA

Having been observing the world for many years, I have seen the law of attraction and karma work over and over. People may seem to get away with treating others atrociously, then, suddenly, karma catches up.

Everything goes around. Karma keeps each of us responsible for our behaviour.

Dealing with the Problem

So, finally, the question is, what can we do about being a narcissist target? Well, one thing is for sure, we will not change the mind of a narcissist, or those who have an over-inflated ego, if it makes them to appear wrong. If they have decided it is us who is at fault, it is unlikely we will get them to admit otherwise. We can only change ourself and our reactions. Take back our power.

The best way to react is with no reaction and don’t be drawn into conflicts designed to pull you down or make you feel bad. Now, when I say react with no reaction, I am not saying lie down and let someone trample all over you. Simply walk away. Avoid feeding your fear or pain by getting upset at the lies they may spread.

When you continuously focus on something or someone your attention feeds the energy. Remember: where your focus goes your energy flows.

Life really is too short to waste your precious time on those who steal your joy and drain your energy.

When you walk away or show no interest in their lies, they move on. The more lives they touch, with manipulative ways, the sooner their truth is revealed.

By avoiding excessive emotional reactions, it also helps keep one’s vibration raised. Yes, I know, easier said than done. But by getting in control of the mind and working to stay grounded, it helps us better control our emotional reactions. (This is where mind-stilling though breathing techniques, meditation and yoga can come in handy.)

Stay in gratitude and it will keep you in a ‘higher space.’ Keep pushing forward! Stay in your light and don’t let anyone extinguish it!

Next time we delve a little deeper into the increase in Empath emotional reactions.