The Quiet Signs A Friendship Is Doing More Harm Than Good

You may already know, especially if you are a regular reader of my blog, that certain people in our lives, those who bring stress, tension, or emotional heaviness, can quietly wear us down over time. They can even add years to our life in the way of premature aging.

I remember having a sense of relief when I finally understood that creating a little distance from certain relationships isn’t cold or unkind; it can actually be a deeply healing act towards ourselves.

But it took me time, quite a lot of time, to arrive at that understanding.

For the longest while, I questioned myself instead. I wondered if I was just being overly sensitive, if I was reading too much into things, or expecting too much from people. There was also that lingering belief that stepping back from someone, especially someone who had been in my life for a long time, somehow made me unkind… or worse, disloyal. I think many of us Empaths feel like we should endure and make space for others even when it is damaging.

This is a subject I explored last year in my post Empaths Are Not Emotional Punchbags, where I discussed the importance of recognising when we’re being drained or overextended. But what I feel drawn to talk about now are those long-term friendships that don’t necessarily feel obviously harmful, but over time have shifted or quietly soured in ways we may not immediately recognise.

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One Thing That Will Set you Free as an Empath!

Finding the truth of who you really are as an Empath is one of the hardest things you will face whilst on this path of awakening.

If you are struggling with the current shift happening in the world, or with being an Empath, I guarantee, one of the reasons is you are not facing your personal truth.

The person you see in the mirror is an accumulation of many fear-based emotions, untruths, rejections and painful events, built up from your personal history.

Ever heard the saying, ‘We’re not really upset about what we think we’re upset about?’ It means we’re not facing the true cause of our pain.

SET YOURSELF FREE

Finding your truth is not an overnight process. It can take years. At least it took me years and I’m still uncovering new stuff all the time.

It was part of my journey to go the long way round, perhaps, so I could share the information here.

So how did I make the discovery? That the truth really will set you free…? Through journaling.

WRITE IT DOWN

When I was at my lowest ebb (part of my resistance to the a changing world and my Empath ways) I did not want to talk to anyone about what I was feeling inside. I believed it would make me appear weak and vulnerable. I felt frustrated that I was not in control of my emotions (When I discovered I was an Empath they made more sense) and, as I was not ready to talk to anyone about it, I had to find a way to offload. I did this by journaling.

I came across journaling, quite by chance during a quest to improve my writing skills. In her book, Writing down the Bones, Natalie Goldberg explained: to hone one’s writing ability one should write every day. The idea was just to put pen to paper and see what came out. This is exactly what I did… Continue reading