As you know, I like to share different ways that Empaths can move through life feeling happier, healthier, calmer, and better able to handle the intensity that can sometimes come with being a sensitive person.

There are so many little things we can incorporate into our everyday lives that can make a surprisingly big difference to how we feel, and one of those things is something so simple that we often overlook it completely: smiling.

I have actually been meaning to write about this for quite some time, in fact, since earlier this year. But, as I like to say, better late than never!

I know I’ve mentioned the power of a smile in previous posts over the years, but I’ve never really dedicated an article to it. And because I’ve discovered for myself just how effective it can be as a little emotional uplifter, particularly when I’m out and about and surrounded by lots of people, I thought it was time to elaborate.

I’ve noticed that deliberately smiling at myself can change my internal state surprisingly quickly. It’s become a very simple way of uplifting and empowering myself when out and about or even when home alone.

Interestingly, I stumbled upon this little discovery quite by accident.

Back in January, I was at the airport waiting to board a flight to Thailand. I had a few minutes to spare, so I nipped into WHSmith to buy a book. I was in a rush and, as often happens when you’re rushing, I picked up something I probably wouldn’t ordinarily have chosen. Somehow, it ended up in my basket.

The book was by Mel Robbins and was about The High 5 Habit. I initially thought it was going to be about developing habits in the usual sense, but the idea was actually about giving yourself a high five in the mirror as a way of encouraging and supporting yourself.

Well, as I’m someone who likes to try things out for myself, I decided to give it a go.

I started making a habit of walking past the mirror, looking at myself, smiling, and giving myself a high five.

But something interesting happened.

I realised that it wasn’t really the high five that was doing anything for me.

It was the smile.

I’m not particularly a high-five type of person, and although there was something rather amusing about high-fiving myself in the mirror, the smile seemed to be the part that genuinely lifted my mood. So, rather than concentrating on the high five, I began experimenting with simply smiling more often, particularly when I was at home into a mirror as I passed.

And that’s when I started noticing just how powerful something as simple as smiling at yourself could be.

The thing is, smiling can be the very last thing you feel like doing when you’re feeling low or surrounded by people, noise, movement, and stimulation.

For Empaths or highly sensitive people, busy environments can sometimes feel like an assault on the senses. There are conversations happening everywhere, phones ringing, people rushing around, and emotions being picked up on.

When you’re already feeling overwhelmed, the last thing you may want to do is smile.

You might feel like retreating into yourself, putting your head down, avoiding eye contact, and getting out of there as quickly as possible.

But this is where I’ve found that deliberately introducing a gentle smile can make a difference.

Smiling can help shift the way we feel.

There is interesting research around the connection between facial expressions, emotions, and the brain, although some would say it’s more complicated than simply saying that smiling “tricks” the nervous system. I feel like it does.

Facial expressions and emotions influence one another, and a relaxed, genuine smile can be associated with positive emotional changes and a reduction in feelings of tension for some people.

So, yes, for me, it’s like literally fooling the nervous system into feeling safe, especially when I can see myself smiling.

For example, when you’re tense, your face often becomes tense too. Your jaw tightens, your brow furrows, your shoulders rise, and your breathing can become shallower. But when you consciously soften your face, relax your shoulders, take a slower breath, and allow a gentle smile to appear, you calm your senses and thus your nervous system.

And it doesn’t have to be a huge, exaggerated grin. It’s simply about softening your expression. A little smile. And perhaps saying internally:

“I’m okay. I can handle this.”

This can be particularly useful when we’re in busy public places.

One of our “Empath problems” is that we can become so focused on what’s happening around us that we lose awareness of what’s happening within us. We notice everyone else’s moods, expressions, conversations, and frustrations, and before we know it, we’ve become completely absorbed in the environment.

A smile can become an automatic distraction and an uplifter. It gives us something of our own to focus on, whilst creating a small moment of inward awareness.

You don’t need to see yourself when smiling, but I have found it more effective if you do. Even if that is just in the reflection of a shop window.

Smiling can also change the energy of an interaction.

Smile at someone and quite often they smile back. You don’t know what that person has been dealing with that day. Perhaps they’re stressed, lonely, worried, or simply having a difficult morning. A tiny moment of friendliness from a stranger may be enough to lift them, even if only for a few seconds.

And that works both ways. Sometimes we give the smile, and sometimes we receive one. Either way, something shifts.

Of course, I’m not suggesting you walk around forcing a smile at everyone. And you certainly don’t have to pretend you’re happy when you’re not. A smile isn’t about denying what you’re feeling. It’s about giving yourself another option.

If you’re overwhelmed by the world around you, perhaps step away if you can. If you need quiet, find some quiet.

But if you’re simply feeling tense, overstimulated, or weighed down by the atmosphere around you, try experimenting with a gentle smile (in a mirror if you can) and see what happens.

You might find it particularly helpful in places such as:

• Airports and train stations
• Shopping centres
• Busy supermarkets
• Queues and waiting rooms
• Crowded streets
• Social gatherings
• Anywhere you feel surrounded by lots of people and stimulation

The next time you’re somewhere busy and you notice yourself becoming tense or overloaded, try something incredibly simple.

Take a slow breath. Relax your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Bring your attention back into your body. And allow a gentle smile to appear.

Then notice what happens.

You may find that your thoughts become a little less frantic. You may feel slightly lighter. You may even notice that the people around you suddenly seem a little less overwhelming.

And if nothing changes, that’s okay too. It’s simply another little tool to add to your Empath toolkit.

Because sometimes we’re looking for complicated answers when the smallest things can help us shift our state.

We sometimes underestimate how much influence we have over our own internal environment. I know that we can’t control the world around us. But we can become more conscious of how we respond to it.

So, the next time you find yourself surrounded by people and feeling that familiar sense of overload, remember to curl your lips upward.

You don’t really need a high five (but do try it, just to see if it works for you).

Just try smiling.

You might be surprised at what happens. Because sometimes, when the world around us feels overwhelming, a tiny change in expression can be the beginning of a much bigger change in how we experience the moment.

Until next time.

Diane ❤️

By Diane Kathrine