Why Do So Many Empaths Feel Unble to Connect With Others?

Posted in Empath Intuition, Empath Power, Empath's Emotions, Empath's Life Purpose, Help for Empaths by Diane Kathrine

If you are one of the many Empaths who feel unable to make real connections with people, or with life itself, know that you are not alone and that there is a reason for it.

We don’t always realize, but life is a series of linked events; each one leading to the next, like the spots on a dot-to-dot puzzle. Yet, most are unaware that the seemingly random occurrences of life and a feeling of ‘disconnect’ are in any way pivotal to the course of our destiny…

Because the mind is kept so busy trying to make sense of life’s conundrums, we are often kept from connecting the dots on our unique and mysterious life puzzle. Our Empath sensitivities may also prevent us from seeing how amazing our lives are, or how this sense of ‘disconnectedness’ serves us.

The majority of us work hard trying to figure out life. We may wonder where our true purpose lies or we may constantly find ourselves looking at ways to better fit in with others. It may even feel like we are not on the ‘right path’.

Why do so many Empaths feel disconnected?

It may certainly seem that the Empath is destined to go through life feeling off-course, unfulfilled, overwhelmed, or unable to connect. There are many things that come with being an Empath that makes them push people away: getting hurt easily, feeling others’ emotional pain, and being a beacon for other people’s problems being but a few. This in itself can lead to feelings of being disconnected.

It is easy to forget that we came here for a reason: to experience life as an Empath, and the many challenges that go with it, because we get distracted by the obstacles we face.

Empath life is often strenuous, painful, overly emotional, sometimes lonely and often comes with a huge sense of disconnect from others. Which is ironic considering we feel the energy of people so powerfully. But, when we allow ourselves to see it, Empath life is also enlightening, invigorating, electrically charged and a true gift.

Empaths can boast of life experiences few can expect to have. We feel things others don’t and we have a strong sense of intuition that will take us to all the right places, if we believe in it and follow its guidance.

Sometimes, we purposely make life more difficult for ourselves, without realizing. And sometimes we allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity or we get stuck in victim mentality. We may also subconsciously choose to ignore what we need to do to keep us safe and sane on our journey. But the keys to our happiness and ‘reconnection’ are always there for us to find, when we are ready.

So, to get to the reason for not feeling connected to others: Being disconnected keeps us moving forward, looking for ways to better ourself or find the answers. If we were to feel extremely contented and comfortable in life, we would not look for ways to become empowered.

As an Empath, it is easy to see dark or challenging times as punishments, but when we come through the other side we always find an incredible gift inside the experience.

The experiences we have, really are unique, and every difficulty we have endured and overcome has catapulted us forward, shaping the course of our life.

When we connect the dots of our past, we see a bigger picture emerge. Everything happens for a reason. Even feeling disconnected shapes and changes us, pushing us towards evolvement.

Listen to your soul, tune into your intuition and don’t be afraid to make the changes you know that will reconnect you to your truth, purpose and happiness, and in turn others.

You may also find this post helpful: Why do Empaths have such a strong sense of not belonging?

Hope this helps on your journey…

Until next time.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

7Jul2017

What is the Real Connection Between an Empath and a Narcissist?

Posted in Empath's Life Purpose, Help for Empaths by Diane Kathrine

When I started writing for the Empath, back in 2011, there was very little material available on the subject, and this is what drove my compilation of the ‘Traits of an Empath’. I wanted to help other Empaths understand who they were and discover why they felt all they did. I also wanted to share what had helped me.

It doesn’t seem so long ago that the word ‘Empath’ was a rarely mentioned term. But we can see how that’s changed in recent years. Thousands, if not millions, have discovered who they are as Empaths with all the information now available.

However, with this Empath uprising there also seems to have been an upsurge with the ‘dark side of sensitive’. This can be observed with the rise of the narcissist and those encompassing narcissistic traits.

What Makes a Narcissist?

Although the term narcissism originally stemmed from having extreme vanity, today it represents so much more:

The definition of a narcissist is: a psychological condition characterised by self-preoccupation, high self-esteem, a distinct lack of empathy, excessive self-admiration and a tendency towards selfish or resentful behaviours. But there are many more traits associated with this type of disposition such as: one-sidedness, a manipulative nature, unrealistic expectations of others, excess need for control, and a huge sympathy deficiency. In some cases, the traits of a narcissist match up with a psychopath.

The Empath Connection

Where you find an Empath, you often find a narcissist nearby… or at least those who display several narcissistic tendencies.

In fact, if an Empath takes a look into their past they normally see a pattern of people displaying the above traits throughout their lives.

There are some who would argue that an Empath and narcissist are two sides of the same coin. And although I certainly agree that both have heightened levels of sensitivity, they are expressed in opposite ways.

An Empath’s sensitive side may breed and feed their emotional pain, but it also contributes to their consideration, compassion, and abundance of empathy.

The narcissist’s sensitive side also contributes to their inner-pain, but in many cases, their wounds bred bitter, resentful and vengeful tendencies.

And when a narcissist is offended, it is often the result of a wounded ego as opposed to a pained soul — as in the Empath’s case. Continue reading →

14Apr2017

9 Important Reasons Why Empaths Should Avoid Negative People

Posted in Clearing Negative Energy, Empath's Emotions, Help for Empaths, Mind, Body and Spirit, Protection for the Empath by Diane Kathrine

There is no denying it, ‘people stress’ exists. Every one of us has experienced it. And I have no doubt we will have caused people stress to others at some point.

But there are some who seem to enjoy living under a dark cloud and make an occupation out of unpleasantness; they talk malevolently of people, places and pastimes and suck the joy out of life… These are the negative people of the world

Science has acknowledged that just by spending too much time around those who are constantly disapproving or miserable, has an undesirable influence on one’s health and happiness.

There are many studies showing how prolonged ‘people stress’ alters gene expression within the immune system… Meaning: we become sick just by hanging out with angry, gloomy or demoralizing people.

Some doctors now even recommend their patients avoid spending time with those who cause them emotional stress; for the fact they could exacerbate health conditions.

It may seem unkind to suggest avoiding negative people, but here are 9 reasons why you should:

1, Low Moods are Triggered by Emotional Contagion:

Emotional contagion is the phenomenon of having one person’s emotions and linked behaviours trigger similar emotions in others. Meaning: Negativity is contagious.

You can experience other people’s low moods just by spending time with them.

2, You Become a Magnet for Negativity:

Ever wondered why after spending time around negative people you draw more negative situations towards you?

Like attracts like.

When you unintentionally harvest other people’s negativity, through emotional contagion, it often becomes your own. Through the law of attraction, you then attract more.

Negativity breeds negativity!

3, You Experience an Energy Drain:

You may have noticed that when you spend time around negative people you feel cloudy, flat and lethargic.

Many negative people are also energy vampires. Their negativity sucks the energy from you, even after a short time spent in their presence. This drain can leave you feeling low, uninspired and weary.

4, Negative People Contribute to Inflammation:

Stress causes inflammation in the body.

Chronic inflammation has been linked to autoimmune disorders, depression, heart disease and even cancer.

By keeping negative people in your life, who cause you stress, you are causing your body more damage than you know.

5, The Adrenal Glands Weaken:

Although every organ is affected by people stress, the adrenals are one of the first to be impacted.

The adrenals are part of the endocrine system and are responsible for releasing the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline.

When the adrenals are functioning properly, cortisol is anti-inflammatory, otherwise it has the opposite effect.

By spending time around negative people it causes excessive stress which activates the fight-or-flight system. This system is supposed to keep you safe from harm, giving you the energy to run away or stay and do battle… but there is no danger just people stress. This happening repeatedly not only weakens the adrenals but inhibits the proper release of cortisol and impairs health.

6, Weight Gain:

If you are Sensitive and spend a lot of time around stress-inducing people, your adrenals become impaired, which, as mentioned above, plays havoc with cortisol production and can lead to weight gain.

As well as being known as the stress hormone, cortisol is also called the fat storing hormone.

The weight gain, caused by excess cortisol production, is often seen around the stomach – and a reason many Empaths have a squidgy, pot belly. This fat is difficult to eliminate because it is not caused by eating too much food, so reducing food intake has little effect.

7, Imbalanced or Blocked Chakras

Chakras are also known as energy centres.

The chakras are directly linked to your endocrine glands (glands that release hormones into the body), and people stress is known to impair the endocrine glands.

When any endocrine gland weakens (adrenals for example), it has a knock-on-effect and leads to unbalanced chakras.

Blocked or unbalanced chakras cause many health problems and can also lead to leaky aura syndrome (a problem many Empaths struggle with).

8, Weakened Energy Field:

Also known as the aura or pranic sheath, your energy field emanates around you like a luminous egg-shaped sheath.

The energy field has been defined as a haze or ‘metamolecular space’ that surrounds every living thing.

A healthy energy field keeps good energy in and bad energy out. A weak energy field, however, is porous and leaky, also known as leaky aura syndrome, and allows in too much energy from others.

If you become overly stressed or anxious, when around negative people, you are more at risk of developing a permeable aura. This can cause many unnecessary difficulties in life.

A weakened aura is bad news on many levels for the Empath (see this post to learn more) and by staying away from negative people it will help keep your energy field healthy.

9, Unhappiness and Depression:

It is difficult to stay upbeat when around anyone who drags you down emotionally.

Sensitive people are prone to low moods and depression, and for this – and all the above reasons – the best way to stay happy is by avoiding nasty or unpleasant people.

If you experience guilt at the prospect of avoiding certain negative people, remind yourself you are looking after your health and wellbeing…

You deserve to be happy and healthy!

Remedies

Because complete avoidance of negative people is near impossible, I have included 3 quick recovery remedies that aid relaxation and help switch on the parasympathetic nervous system (system responsible for bringing calm and balance to the body).

Take a Salted, Magnesium, Essential Oil Bath:

This is an incredible combination for instilling calm and overall balance. Salt clears negative energy, it also heals and softens the skin.

Magnesium helps one relax, and boosts energy, supports the endocrine system and aids sleep (quality sleep is essential for repairs).

Choosing an essential oil, such as lavender, further supports deep relaxation.

Still the Mind and Calm the Breath:

When stressed or anxious the breathing becomes erratic and thoughts go into overdrive, this only serves in heightening stress and weakens the body.

To quieten the mind, sit comfortably in a darkened room, with incense or your favourite essential oil burning, and practice alternate nostril breathing. This breathing technique brings instant serenity and quietens a chaotic mind.

Get Outdoors:

An effortless way to restore balance is by simply stepping out in nature (read more here), or by using a technique called Earthing (read more here).

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time

Diane

Refs and further reading:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/07/chronic-stress-health-inflammation-genes_n_4226420.html

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/addisons-disease/expert-answers/adrenal-fatigue/FAQ-20057906

http://theusualroutine.com/2016/08/18/science-confirms-people-absorb-energy-others/

http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/endocrine-system

http://www.naturalways.com/adrenal.htm

2Sep2013

How Can An Empath Help Others Without Sufferring Compassion Overwhelm?

Posted in Empath's Life Purpose, Grounding for Empaths, Help for Empaths, Protection for the Empath by Diane Kathrine

I have often been asked questions such as: ‘how can I be of service to others without being drained?’ or ‘I want to help, how should I do it?’

And, although I have replied to those who have asked these kind of questions in comments, I decided to write a mini-post about it.

It is an inbred trait for Empaths to want to help others, if only in an indirect way, and it can be incredibly soul-destroying to see another suffering and not be able to help them.

Especially when it’s obvious they are either too ashamed to ask for help for fear of appearing weak, or if they have gone through life being the ‘strong one’ and when their life starts falling apart, they are afraid of being judged for having failed.

Everyone needs help and direction at some point, no matter how evolved they are. But it is still up to each person to seek out the answers they need and they have to be ready to ask for help and/or be willing to make changes.

We see suffering as bad, and it is.

But it is through suffering that humans really learn and grow. It can also be an important rite of passage into spiritual consciousness.

That said, everyone needs a pointer at some time.

So, how can an Empath be there for another without suffering compassion overwhelm?

One of the easiest ways is to simply listen.

By listening, it is healing to the one being heard.

People don’t really listen anymore. Most are too busy thinking about their own story to hear what others are trying to say, or are just waiting for their turn to talk.

But to Empaths, listening comes as naturally as breathing.

This is why Empaths are often so sought out, because they listen and they hear. The downside to this is taking on too much, especially when another is repeating a victim-story, like a broken record, and refuses to help themselves by making any changes.

Some people also need professional help, and guiding them towards it may be the best option.

However, to prevent overwhelm, it is always wise to have time limits, when listening to others.

With each person, time limits will be different.

For some people, five minutes is enough time, with others an hour or so is ok.

But, for extra protection, always use grounding and protecting techniques before and after. See here and here.

Another incredible way to serve others, is by serving self first.

When we work on ourselves, in mind, body and spirit, we become balanced and empowered. Our vibration then speeds up and we emit a much more powerful energy. This type of energy is uplifting and healing to those around us.

So, just by empowering ourselves we can help empower others, and it will not drain us of our own energy.

If you want to learn more about becoming an Empowered Empath, this post is worth a read.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane