Releasing Trauma Caused By Supressed Emotional Reactions

Being an Empath means having emotional reactions is part of everyday life. Whether that be having a reaction to someone else’s emotional energy, having a reaction to what someone said or did, or just being triggered by what is going on in the world at large. But when emotional reactions become excessive and controlling, to the point of ruling our happiness, thoughts and decisions, we need to take back control.

What is an Emotional Reaction?

Emotional reactions can be both good and bad. Feeling incredible joy and happiness are of course emotional reactions. But the type I am referring to, that seem to be on the increase, are the all-consuming darker emotions such as: anger, rage, hurt, etc. All of which can lead to an anxious state or depression.

Having emotional reactions is part of human nature. They are a huge feature on the journey of life. However, having near constant negative emotions, triggered by our own reactions, not only makes us unhappy, it can hold us back from reaching our true potential. We can become so wrapped up in all that we feel that life passes us by. We miss out on so much joy and we become a slave to our thoughts and emotions.

Something I have noticed in recent years is that as humans we are not handling life well. And I am not just talking about Empaths and HSPs. As a species, we seem to be in more emotional pain than ever before. We are offended and upset over things that might not have touched us at one time. People are struggling with mental health issues such as depression, panic attacks and anxiety to such a degree that it is ruining lives.

The Epidemic

A couple of weeks ago, whilst out and about, we bumped into a friend of my husband who has worked in the fire service for over twenty years and is coming up for retirement. He was telling us about how many ex-servicemen, whether that be the forces, police or fire brigade, are struggling with mental health issues and PTSD, especially after retirement. He also noted how twenty years ago this was not the way. Stress related illness was hardly heard of within the services. Now it is rife. I asked whether this was because people didn’t talk about their issues all those years ago. He disagreed. Apparently, after leaving the service most just got on with life and enjoyed retirement. Now they are dreading the time when they come to step down.

‘Over-feeling’ certainly seems to be a modern-day curse. That is not to say mental health issues are a recent thing, but it is obvious people aren’t coping well with life. Is this because times have got harder? I’m not so sure.

We don’t have to go too far into our history books to see how difficult our ancestors had it. Even looking at the history in my local area there were extremely difficult living conditions such as: dangerous working environments in coal mines and cotton mills for both adults and children, a scarcity of food, poor sanitation, extreme poverty, etc. Many women died in childbirth. Workers would die young because of work-related illness. Young men lost their lives in wars and witnessed atrocities that scarred them for life. Sufferings existed back then that most in the modern Western world will never know.

When we study our past, it makes modern day problems pale in comparison. With all the technological advancements and wealth we have today you would think we were living in a golden era compared to one-hundred years ago, but it has not bought happiness and balance with it.

What is Happening?

Trauma, in one shape or another, is something humans have faced for an eternity. Why is it now we are not handling it? Clearly, something has shifted.

There are obviously a number of explanations for the current unsettled mood epidemic. Hormonal imbalances caused by diet, plastics and environmental factors play a part, as do having too many choices, social media toxicity, not being in touch with our truth, not knowing what we are here for, feeling alone and losing faith. Also Earth changes.

I have discussed Earth changes over the years, moving from one epoch to another and how these changes impact humans (read here, here and here). I do believe that the ascension process is also a major reason behind what we are seeing today. Almost like a mass hysteria triggered by ‘the shift,’ as we adjust to the rules of a new reality. There are many others out there who write about Earth changes and the ascension process. I prefer to focus on offering the tools that help make transitions easier.

But whatever is causing this dark emotion epidemic, I think you would agree that people have suffered enough. It’s time to take back control.

We have to take part in making positive changes happen, by getting back in control of how we each experience life. The problem is, people are too busy trying to change others and their way of thinking, instead of working to change and accept themselves.

Change the Inside to Change the Outside

When we work on our inner-world our outer-world reflects this. It has a knock-on effect. Not only do we become better people, able to cope with life’s ups and downs, but those around us are also impacted in a positive way.

We have the power within to master ourselves and work to train ourselves out of excessive emotional reactions. Much of the information I put out on this blog are ways to do just that.

A couple of posts ago, I discussed some ways to prevent or handle anxiety and panic attacks (21 in fact) through numerous holistic techniques and lifestyle changes. All of which will also help with overcoming excessive emotional reactions and other Empath afflictions. (Read more here)

Distraction

Distracting the mind from engaging in destructive thoughts helps stop it from going into overdrive. Now, when I say distraction, I do not mean suppression.

Distraction is taking away our mind from unnecessary repetitive thoughts. When we distract our mind and body from feeding emotions it helps prevent unnecessary emotional reactions. Suppression is burying something that needs to be addressed.

When we bury what needs to be faced or don’t deal with things we should, the stress lingers within the body and comes up as something else, often physical symptoms or anxiety.

We supress when we do not know how to handle the memory caused by a trauma or betrayal. We stuff the pain away and put it under lock and key. Hoping it will stay buried. But the body does not want the trauma stored within its cells and it will try to release it, often through emotional reactions.

This is where talking helps.

Talking

People often heal when they feel heard. Discussing your emotional pain with someone you trust can make a big impact on lightening the load. However, talking is not for everyone.

We might not want to talk about our trauma and pain because of the emotional memories that get stirred up. For some, talking about their past traumas can ignite anxiety or panic attacks.

If you are not ready to talk about what pains you, writing it down helps. Write down all your troubles and woes. Write what you want to say to another, tell them how they hurt you. Write down who you think you are or who you want to be. Write down what you feel needs to be released. Then burn the paper after. These words are not to be read again. It is a way of releasing them from within. Not something to fester on. Burning the words somehow helps to clear the emotions attached.

Taking back control of emotions is no easy feat. As Empaths we have to work daily on this, even when we feel ok. By taking preventative steps every day, it means we can stay in control of how we feel when the going gets tough.

For more ways to stay in control of emotional reactions see here and here.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

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Are you a Narcissist Target?

One thing all Empaths will have endured at some point on their journey is a person who behaves in a narcissistic way. For some, however, it is part of their everyday life.

When I use the term narcissist target, in the headline, I am referring to anyone who has been on the receiving end of a narcissist’s attention. This can be via their initial charm through to their lies and manipulation.

But the question has to be, why do Empaths so often end up in the firing line?

One explanation is because of the ‘light’ an Empath carries inside. It’s a light that might be considered, by certain individuals, as a weakness or something that can be controlled. Yet that isn’t the only reason. Before we come to that, we will take a quick peek at the traits of a narcissist.

Traits of a Narcissist

Some of the better-known traits are: high self-esteem, a distinct lack of empathy, excessive self-admiration and a tendency towards selfish or resentful behaviours. But there’s more…

One-sidedness, a manipulative nature, unrealistic expectations of others, an excess need for control, and a huge sympathy deficiency can also fall under the same umbrella. It is these traits that often cause problems for the Empaths.

Why Empaths Attract Narcissists

Over the years, I have discussed the subject of why narcissists attract Empaths and vice versa in other posts and books (here, here, and here). It is my belief that although at opposite ends of the spectrum, both Empaths and narcissists are sensitive people and highly reactive.

Like attracts like. Sensitive attracts sensitive. Yet, one of the biggest reasons why Empaths are so often targeted and end up in the firing line of those with a narcissistic personality is because of their keen observational skills.

The Reflecting Empath

An Empath doesn’t just listen to a person’s dialogue, they observe tone and usage of words, they notice body movements, facial expressions, and they see things that others try to mask. This causes an issue for those who do not want to be ‘seen.’ Particularly when they are hiding something.

A narcissist never wants to be wrong, never wants to be seen as the ‘bad guy’ and wants others to think highly of them. But an Empath often acts like a mirror. Even if they don’t point out the narcissist’s concealed traits verbally, they will be reflected back. (This is discussed more in the Mirror of the Empath.) An Empath reflects truth. They will see it hidden behind any façade, no matter how tightly knitted.

If the finely polished veneer of a narcissist is threatened in any way, especially with exposure, they will attack. They often concoct outlandish stories to discredit an Empath, or anyone who reveals their truth, and blame them for the actions that they carried out themselves. They target those considered a threat.

Generally, a narcissist will not face the truth of who they are, if it makes them appear wrong or in any way a bad person. They convince themselves that it is everyone else who is at fault.

Being Repelled

Even if you have a strong repulsion towards narcissists, and avoid them like the plague, you can still be on the receiving end of their wrath, or end up as a target. Narcissists like to be praised and feel special. They want respect and if they are not shown it, they tend to lash out. If you have bruised a narcissist’s ego, by not giving them the respect they think is deserved, then expect to face a backlash.

The Good News

The good news is that narcissists can work as a catalyst on an Empath’s journey. Although it will not feel like it at the time, but anything that ignites insecurities, emotional injuries, victim mentality or personal challenges, can also push an Empath towards transformation. The darkness reveals the inner light. It encourages us to work on ourselves, which in turn takes us to a higher vantage point.

It is often the case that the more challenges an Empath faces the wiser they become and the greater their understanding of life.

I am certainly not suggesting that constant suffering is the perfect formula for enlightenment, but we come to a point when we understand why we have endured such difficulties. We can then see how they shaped us into becoming better people.

Avoiding Excessive Emotional Reactions

Life really is an obstacle course. It gives rise to many uncomfortable and painful experiences. However, if we have an emotional reaction to everything a narcissist, or anyone else, says or does then we put ourselves on a fast-tracked path to self-destruction.

We have to train ourself out of excessive emotional reactions, avoid wallowing in our own misery and not be tempted into revenge. Not that revenge is ever on an Empath’s radar, but it is very easy to think, ‘I’ll show them.’ Or to have the belief that if I say or do nothing, they are getting away with it. This will just lead to more lies and more attacks. We must not forget there is a greater force than ourselves at work that creates balance… Karma.

KARMA

Having been observing the world for many years, I have seen the law of attraction and karma work over and over. People may seem to get away with treating others atrociously, then, suddenly, karma catches up.

Everything goes around. Karma keeps each of us responsible for our behaviour.

Dealing with the Problem

So, finally, the question is, what can we do about being a narcissist target? Well, one thing is for sure, we will not change the mind of a narcissist, or those who have an over-inflated ego, if it makes them to appear wrong. If they have decided it is us who is at fault, it is unlikely we will get them to admit otherwise. We can only change ourself and our reactions. Take back our power.

The best way to react is with no reaction and don’t be drawn into conflicts designed to pull you down or make you feel bad. Now, when I say react with no reaction, I am not saying lie down and let someone trample all over you. Simply walk away. Avoid feeding your fear or pain by getting upset at the lies they may spread.

When you continuously focus on something or someone your attention feeds the energy. Remember: where your focus goes your energy flows.

Life really is too short to waste your precious time on those who steal your joy and drain your energy.

When you walk away or show no interest in their lies, they move on. The more lives they touch, with manipulative ways, the sooner their truth is revealed.

By avoiding excessive emotional reactions, it also helps keep one’s vibration raised. Yes, I know, easier said than done. But by getting in control of the mind and working to stay grounded, it helps us better control our emotional reactions. (This is where mind-stilling though breathing techniques, meditation and yoga can come in handy.)

Stay in gratitude and it will keep you in a ‘higher space.’ Keep pushing forward! Stay in your light and don’t let anyone extinguish it!

Next time we delve a little deeper into the increase in Empath emotional reactions.

Until next time.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

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Prevent Panic Attacks and Anxiety: A Guide for Empaths & HSPs

If you have ever experienced a panic attack you will know only too well that they are not something you would wish on anyone. They create the kind of dread and sense of impending doom that are beyond comprehension.

Because Empaths and HSPs feel everything so intensely, it is often the case that they are more prone to experiencing anxiety and panic attacks.

Not Feeling Safe

Going through life over-feeling emotions and the emotional energy of others can create the perception of being unsafe, especially when out in public or around certain people. Feeling unsafe can put the body into fight-or-flight mode which is a response of the sympathetic nervous system. When the body is in fight-or-flight it is in a constant state of stress.

We often experience a sense of not feeling safe when we have experienced past traumas, especially bereavement or physical or emotional abuse, and not dealt with them.

Another issue many Empaths and HSPs face, which can affect our perception of safety, is feeling misunderstood. When we feel misunderstood it often creates an inability to truly connect with others. Which often leads to a sense of isolation, and is a catalyst for repetitive dark thoughts.

Research has shown that negative thought patterns can be inflammatory. They create problems within the body and mind and keep us in trauma mode.

We all have good and bad within us, light and dark. When we are suffering or in pain, as in with anxiety or panic attacks, it is often because we have inadvertently been feeding the darkness. We allow our pain to dictate our lives. That said, we don’t necessarily have to have been suffering to experience panic attacks. Sometimes external factors, certain foods or hormonal changes can be the trigger.

Being aware of triggers, as well as having knowledge of what we can do if we start to suffer with anxiety or panic attacks, can ensure we don’t needlessly suffer. The following are some simple steps to help prevent anxiety…

1. Use meditation and breathing exercises:

Breathing and meditation practices help cultivate more positive thoughts, help balance the stress hormones and instil calm. However, some people find meditation too stressful to perform when experiencing panic attacks or anxiety. The stillness can become unnerving. In these cases, moving meditations, such as yoga with the breath, or deep breathing is massively beneficial.

The Whisky Breath is a quick breathing exercise which can offer instant relief. Simply inhale for a count of four and then exhale for a count of eight. Continue for as long as you need. This exercise switches on the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps to prevent or stop panic attacks.  The three-minute meditation performed daily, after doing the Whisky Breath breathing, will help keep the mind positive and anxiety at bay.

There’s more information on breathing exercises and yoga here and here.

2. Keep away from people who make you feel unsafe:

If you don’t feel safe, or have trust issues with certain friends or family members, or if you don’t feel they have your best interest at heart it can cause emotional trauma. It is wise to avoid those who create safety issues for the health of your body and mind, which in turn can prevent anxiety.

3. Check your diet:

Are you eating chemical-laden foods, or foods that are known to trigger autoimmune conditions? Anxiety can sometimes be a warning from your body, telling you to pay attention. If you suspect your diet is activating anxiety or panic attacks, keeping a food diary can help you pinpoint the triggers. Read more on this post.

4. Supplement wisely:

Even with the healthiest of diets it is difficult to know we are getting, or absorbing, a full range of nutrients. We often eat anti-nutrient foods without realising (foods that block or hinder nutrient absorption), which means the good stuff we do take in doesn’t get chance to do its job. Vitamin and mineral deficiency can be a big trigger for anxiety. A basic supplementation regime can help in regards to anxiety and panic attacks. This post gives more info.

5. Take Valerian Root:

Valerian root is a natural herb used for treating anxiety and insomnia. Similar to melatonin, valerian root puts you in relaxed sleepy state. Valerian contains a neurotransmitter called GABA, that is known to have a powerfully calming effect on the mind.

6. Do therapeutic exercise:

Yoga and walking are probably two of the most therapeutic forms of exercise. There is a type of yoga to suit everyone, but it has to be practised regularly to see results. Walking is easy and super beneficial for the body and mind. Also, high intensity exercise, which helps release human growth hormone, can be beneficial for stopping panic attacks.

7. Use crystals:

There are many different types of crystals that can help with anxiety. Rose Quartz in particular is a lovely stone to help with panic attacks. It is a love stone that really helps calm the emotions. When choosing crystals for anxiety it is best to see them in person (instead of ordering online). If gazing on a certain stone makes you feel calm inside it is generally a good choice.

8. Salt therapy:

Taking salt baths can be incredibly calming and soothing for the body and mind. Even better, if you live near an ocean taking a daily dip can work wonders for soothing anxiety. This post gives more details.

9. Check your water levels:

If you are dehydrated, even just a little, it can trigger anxiety and panic attacks. This post gives more information.

10. Reduce wireless air time:

More research is coming to light showing how WIFI is a major cause of anxiety and panic attacks, especially when spending a lot of time wirelessly downloading on the internet (Youtube, etc.). Give yourself a few days away from WIFI and see what effect it has. Switch your phone to aeroplane mode when not in use and limit your time on the internet. This post explains more.

11. Keep your bedroom as a calm zone:

Quality sleep is important for preventing anxiety and panic attacks. Don’t keep electrical gadgets, especially WIFI gadgets, in the bedroom. Keep your bedroom well aired and clean. Use black out curtains to ensure a solid night’s sleep.

12. Use essential oils:

Essential oils are perfect for instilling calm. Lavender being one of the best allrounders, but other good ones are Basil, Chamomile or Geranium. You can normally feel the calming effects of these essential oils within ten minutes of application. Simply massage a few drops, mixed with a teaspoon of oil, into the soles of your feet. Or use them in your bath, add them to your body oils or put a few drops on your pillow before sleep time. Check this post out for more essential oils and their benefits.

13. Avoid caffeine:

Caffeine is one of the worst things for triggering panic attacks and anxiety. It is found in coffee, tea, chocolate and colas. Avoidance will go a long way to keeping anxiety and panic attacks at bay.

14. Avoid stimulants:

Alcohol and recreational drugs can be another big trigger of anxiety. Many people assume alcohol is a relaxant, but it is when the effects wear off that the problems start.

15. Avoid chemicals:

If you are Sensitive, it often means you will be sensitive to chemicals in products and scents, which can trigger many unusual physical reactions and stress within the body. Keep your products as natural as possible, including laundry detergent, household cleaning products and personal hygiene products.

16. Listen to soothing sounds:

There are some incredibly soothing sounds that can help reduce anxiety and prevent panic attacks. Ocean sounds, angelic harmonies, thunderstorms, gentle chimes, etc. are incredibly calming to the body and mind. Try to avoid live music downloads (such as on Youtube) as the WIFI can trigger more anxiety. Perhaps buy a CD and listen through headphones.

17. Don’t eat late at night:

Eating late at night can be the trigger for sleep anxiety and panic attacks. Try to have your last meal at least three hours before bedtime to ensure it is digested.

18. Get out in Nature:

This is a perfect remedy for anxiety and panic disorder. Even listening to the birds singing is beneficial. Read more here on the benefits of nature for an Empath.

19. Massage and reflexology:

Massaging body treatments work wonders for helping with anxiety, especially reflexology, which works on the reflex points on your feet. Schedule in time for yourself and book in a weekly treatment to help soothe your body and mind.

20. Talk to a specialist:

If you know you have supressed past trauma such as a bereavement, emotional or physical abuse, or unresolved issues, it might help to talk to a trained therapist. Supressed trauma is often reignited in times of stress, which often triggers panic attacks.

21. Have your hormones checked:

This is a big one, especially for women. If you are going through any kind of hormonal transition, such as perimenopause or menopause, it can be a big trigger for panic attacks. Perimenopause often starts from the late thirties onwards and can create many unusual and uncomfortable physical and mental symptoms.

So, there you go. Hopefully, you will have found something on the list that will help if you suffer with anxiety or panic attacks. But even if you don’t suffer with anxiety now, it is always good to have this page bookmarked for future reference. Anxiety can be triggered at any point in life, sometimes with no known cause. Having a reminder of what steps to take to combat panic attacks can avoid a lot of unnecessary suffering.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

 

 

The Miracle Three-Minute Meditation for a Tired Empath Mind

It is said that the average person has about thirty-five thoughts a minute. Now, I can’t say whether that is true for everyone, I’m not even sure how thoughts are measured, but we certainly think more than we realise.

Consistent positive thoughts tend to bring about positivity in our world. However, it is when our thoughts become dark, menacing and repetitive that they make life more challenging. Which, sadly, for the majority, is often the case. Especially when experiencing difficulties or stress in life.

Research

Research has shown that negative thought patterns are inflammatory. Meaning, they are not only disruptive to our mental health but also to our physical. The body and mind are connected. What weakens one will weaken the other.

As most of you know, getting out of a repetitive thinking pattern is not easy to do, especially when thoughts have been triggered by stress, trauma or ‘people factors.’ But training our mind for stillness, through meditation, can be a passport to a healthier and happier life.

Get Back in Control

The problem is, in our busy lives, finding time for a meditation practice becomes a chore and can in itself cause feelings of stress. We’re often advised that the only way to see results, from meditating, is to spend fifteen to twenty minutes in deep meditation. Well, I’ve discovered that that does not have to be the case.

We can get incredible benefits from practicing meditation for just three minutes a day. Yes, just three minutes!

We can all find a spare three minutes. Whether that be when we are in the bath, when we are cooling down after exercise, whilst waiting for dinner to cook, or before we go to sleep at night. It is very doable. I find morning is the best time, as it sets me up for the day.

You may now be thinking there would be no way you could still the mind within a three-minute time frame. But it is entirely possible and I am about to reveal the simple steps that can allow for three minutes of thought-free bliss.

What You Need

You will need a loud ticking clock, or at least loud enough to hear, and a comfortable place to sit where you won’t be disturbed.

Technique

  • Close your eyes
  • Focus your mind on the clock ticking. One tick should be one second.
  • Now, start counting back from thirty. Allow your mind to go nowhere else except the ticking clock and your count.
  • When you reach one, fold over one of your fingers and go back to counting back from thirty. Continue for another five rounds. Folding over a finger after each round (your fingers are your counters).
  • If you find your mind attempting to wander, simply bring it back to the count and the tick of the clock.
  • After six rounds of counting back from thirty, your mini meditation is done.

How easy was that? Three minutes and done.

The practice becomes so enjoyable that you often find when the three minutes are up you want to stay that little bit longer within the stillness of your mind. (It is often in this stillness that we get incredible insights and intuitive downloads.) In fact, this three-minute meditation is the perfect starting point to building a longer practice. If that’s what you want.

(I will note that if your mind has been overly hectic with a rush of rampant thoughts, you may need to do the technique twice. First time to still your mind, the second round to enjoy the stillness.)

Make it Your Own

If you prefer to change the way you count, feel free. I find counting backwards for a round of thirty is a better way to stay in control of my mind. It is often when I do a longer count that my mind starts wandering. But, if you prefer, counting back from sixty or even one-hundred and eighty is fine too. Whatever works for you.

Why the Clock?

There’s something rhythmically therapeutic about listening to a ticking clock. I guess the flowing beat is hypnotic. It helps keep the mind distracted from thoughts. That’s not to say you won’t have thoughts when you first start practicing. Thoughts are powerful little blighters. They do not like to be told to shut up. But by using the count and the ticking clock, you very quickly realise when your mind is wandering, and can pull it back into line.

Watch this video to see the benefits of meditating which starts at about the 4 minute 50 mark..

Ok, that’s it for me for today. Look out for my next post which is a guide to preventing anxiety and panic attacks for an Empath.

Until next time…

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

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Could EMF and WIFI Be Disrupting Your Empath Life?

EMF and the Empath

I noted in my last quick post that I had been a couple of weeks without WIFI in December, and what a positive impact it had on me. It is quite incredible how dependent we have become on the internet for everything. So much so, it is difficult to imagine life without it. But have we really considered what effect all the electromagnetic fields (EMFs) are having on our Empath sensitivities?

In this last post, I discussed how many Empath lives are disrupted by sensory overload. Another massive factor which also contributes to this overload are electromagnetic fields (EMFs) which include WIFI.

Electromagnetic Pollution

Over the years, the use of smart phones and laptops has skyrocketed. Even the ‘untechiest’ person will have a mobile phone. It certainly doesn’t help that the majority of our phones are also connected wirelessly to the internet which gives off considerable amounts of EMFs when data is streamed.

This increase in mobile phone use has also led to the need for more cell towers around our towns and cities, which means greater levels of EMF in our environment.

Wireless gadgets are not the only problem. There are many other devices within the home that allow these invisible frequencies to build up; such as televisions, fluorescent lighting, microwave ovens, etc.

EMF and the Empath

EMFs are so powerful they can be measured.

You and me, we both create electromagnetic fields. Virtually every single process which keeps us alive can be traced back to an electric field. A giant electric field holds all our atoms together. We wouldn’t be able to function without our electric fields. Every time we move a muscle, we create an electric field. We are electrical beings.

Think about walking into a room full of angry people where the atmosphere could be ‘cut with a knife.’ It wouldn’t be long before you were affected by the EMF of the room (whether you were an Empath or not), via the merging of electrical fields. No matter how happy you were prior to entering an angry room, the electrical energy of others can influence your own energy and thus your mood.

Every atom has its own electric field, and when you put two atoms close together, they can mess around with the electric field of the other.Jack Frazer Master’s Physics Oxford University

The above quote explains why the energy of one person can impact the energy of another. Our electric fields like to ‘mingle.’ It also shows that frequencies emitted by WIFI can ‘mess around’ with our own.

One electric field affects the way another functions. So, if you experience strange symptoms, or if your Empath traits are making life difficult, it could be caused by EMF.

Maybe it is time to pay attention to how you feel after spending a lot of time on wireless networks.

As Empaths we easily recognise the impact of the energy of people but many of us are also affected by the electromagnetic frequencies emitted within our environment without realizing.

Hazards to Health

EMF disrupt energy frequencies within our body and within our energy field, they affect our chakras and endocrine glands, immune system and nervous system. In fact, the symptoms of enduring too much EMFs are similar to those an Empath might experience from being ungrounded.

Here’s a Sampling:

  • Dark moods, depression or emotional overwhelm
  • Difficulty concentrating and trouble giving attention to anything which requires focus
  • Brain fog and memory loss
  • Anxiety, panic attacks and irritability
  • Fatigue and lack of motivation
  • Dizziness
  • Sleeplessness (even though exhausted)

How Do You Know If You’re Affected?

One of the best ways to find out if you are EMF sensitive is to have an electrical detox. Which I must admit can be a challenge because let’s face it, electrical gadgets are everywhere. Perhaps spend a few days away from all things electrical or just turn off the electricity in your home for a while and see how it affects you. Even just switching your phone setting to aeroplane mode, when not in use, will make a difference.

I personally found that when I was not using my phone and laptop for two weeks my brain became clearer, my thoughts more lucid and I felt more energised. Others report of feeling generally happier and healthier or having strange symptoms clear up.

The Solution

Sadly, continuous escapism of EMF and WIFI, in this modern world, is virtually impossible. Yet there is one simple thing we can do to help protect ourselves. Use crystals.

EMF Shielding

Certain crystals can act like bioelectrical shields against EMF. Not surprisingly, the crystals that work best for EMF protection are the stones we use for grounding.

Crystals to Use:

Ferromagnetic crystals (containing iron) are best for EMF protection. There are several of them, but my favourites are:

  • Hematite
  • Black Tourmaline
  • Shungite

If you have been impacted by electromagnetic frequencies, you will likely notice the difference as soon as you use one of the above grounding stones.

Other stones that can also be used are Pyrite and Magnetite (although I have never tried them myself, others have reported them to work).

How To Use Crystals for EMF Protection:

When using grounding crystals, such as Black Tourmaline, for EMF protection the goal is to create a shielding barrier between you and your wireless devices. The best ways to do this are:

  • Put them in your trouser/shirt pocket or wear them as jewellery such as necklace or bracelet.
  • Place them in between you and your devices. Perhaps on your work desk.

After Use

It is not always possible to keep a crystal on hand. In some cases, we need to use them after EMF exposure. They can be used with good results in the following ways:

  • Use your grounding crystal in meditations: Hold your crystal, or crystals, in your hands and keep your mind focused on their energy during your meditation.
  • Place a grounding crystal on the third eye (centre of forehead) for five to ten minutes: This helps with clearing any brain fog caused by EMF.
  • Use grounding crystals around your bath tub: (Not in water, as some crystals may rust). This not only helps clear EMFs; it also makes bath time a much fizzier and cleansing affair.

When using crystals for EMF protection there are two IMPORTANT THINGS to remember:

  • Powerfully magnetic crystals should not be used near your laptop or external hard drives because they could fry them.
  • Being semiconductors of energy, Clear Quartz (or other silicate crystals) should not be used near electronic devices, as they can amplify the EMFs

Extra EMF Protection

Although certain crystals work wonders for EMF shielding, we can also take further steps to protect ourselves. The simplest ways are to turn off your wireless routers at bedtime, don’t keep your mobile or other electrical devices on your body, keep your phones and laptops out of your bedroom, and switch off electrical appliances at the mains when not in use.

Also, as was mentioned in my last post, get out in Nature as much as possible. Nature heals us on so many levels and is the perfect protection from EMF. Read more here on the benefits of being in Nature for an Empath.

Remaining vigilant of what might weaken us as Empaths helps ensure we live our happiest and healthiest life. Knowledge is power. Hopefully, this post has shed some light as to how you might have been affected by EMF. We live in an ever-changing fast-paced world that seems to bring in more challenges by the day. Levels of electromagnetic pollution are bound to get worse, so taking some simple steps now to prevent overload can go a long way.

If you are interested in learning more about how crystals can help you as an Empath, I will be releasing a book on the subject in early spring.

Hope that you have all recovered from the festive period and here’s to a fantastic 2020!

Until next time… 350 DPI resized black cover 5 july for KDP 2

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

Sources:

(Part of the above information has been lifted from my upcoming book – Crystals for Empaths – The Ultimate Guide

https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2017/11/03/how-the-human-body-creates-electromagnetic-fields/

The below recording may also be of interest

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Happy New Year

Happy New Year

Just a quick message today to wish all you lovely Empaths of the world a Happy New Year, and to apologise for not getting a post out last month as I had intended.

I was away most of December. Two weeks of which I didn’t have any internet connection. (Which I must admit was actually bliss. I can fully recommend a WIFI detox. It’s perfect for inspiring the creative mind.) So, because of that, my publishing schedule went out the window.

I’ll be back very soon with my next post. But for now, I would just like to take this opportunity to say here’s to a fantastic 2020 for all. I wish that this new decade will bring in good health and much happiness for you and your families.

Until next time.

Diane

Sheltering from Loud Energy and Sensory Overload

To some loud energy may seem like a weird concept. But not to an Empath. An Empath will immediately know what is meant by loud energy and why we often need to find ways to shelter from it.

As Empaths, we become adept at differentiating levels of energy. We even become proficient at knowing what someone will feel like just by observing them from a distance. I often think we measure a person’s energy in a similar way that we measure sound. And just like sound can be interpreted as being loud, so can someone’s energy. (I’m sure you have experienced wanting to ‘shush’ someone even though they have not said a word.)

It is often the case that the livelier a person the louder their energy. However, someone can still have loud energy without necessarily being a loud person. There are several factors that seem to raise a person’s ‘vibrational volume’ and they are:

  • Being in quiet emotional pain (suffering in silence).
  • Grasping for attention or being super self-absorbed.
  • Being famous (although this energy can be quite enigmatic).
  • Containing anger or resentments.

Having loud energy is certainly no crime and we cannot build resentments towards someone just because of their ‘energetic decibels.’ But, just like persistent loud noises can impact our health and wellbeing, so can loud energy.

Sensory Overload

You may yourself have noticed that on some occasions you are not affected by the noisy energy of a person, but at other times it winds you up to the point of distraction. This often happens when there’s been a sensory overload. If all your senses have been on overload you won’t handle a person’s loud energy as well as you should.

We talk about being sensitive to other people’s energy, but that’s not all we can be sensitive to. Many Empaths have heightened senses. We hear sounds louder, see colours brighter and taste foods more intensely. We also suffer more with food sensitivities which also contributes to heightened senses.

It is often when all our senses are on overload that we cannot handle the loud energy of people. And is another reason why Empaths don’t do well spending a lot of time in places that are loud or filled with lots of people.

Sensory overload can trigger: fatigue, mood swings, people irritation, and more.

If we become irritated when around another person, we often blame it on their energy, but it might just be that it was ‘the straw that broke the camel’s back.’ In other words, all our other senses have become so heightened that we cannot take any more ‘input.’

The thing is when we are overloaded it causes unnecessary stress to the body and mind. We then get caught up in a vicious cycle of energy overload and our senses never get a rest.

Now, as nice as it would be to ask someone to contain their energy, this obviously isn’t an option. We need ways to filter and cleanse our senses so that we don’t get taken down by sensory overload.

I often talk about the importance of grounding for an Empath, which is not just great for ‘energy protection’ it also works as an easy way to rebalance or calm our senses.

Nature

Getting outdoors into the natural world is one of the top ways of grounding. Nature is so soothing to the body, mind and soul. Sadly, the green spaces in and around our cities are getting less and less. Houses, apartment blocks and business units are being built on every available piece of land. This has more impact on our general wellbeing than we probably realize. (Read more about Nature’s healing power here.)

My husband and I do a lot of travelling around the UK. Mostly down south on the M6. But we also go up to Scotland. When we drive towards London, we don’t pass much greenery and we often arrive at our destination lethargic and agitated. However, when driving up to Scotland the opposite is true. We often feel uplifted. If you have done any driving through the UK (or any other place where you go from city to greenery) you might have also experienced this yourself. The further North you travel, on the M6 in the UK, the greener it becomes. The landscape is beautiful and calming to gaze upon. It is soothing to the senses. And that is without even getting out of the car.

Although I know the volume of traffic plays a part in draining our energy when travelling (south-bound on the M6 is particularly busy), we have also sat in traffic heading towards Scotland and it by no means has the same effect.

So, yes, to protect from sensory overload, get out in Nature as much as possible. Keep plants and flowers in the house and garden. Even potted herbs dotted around the kitchen will help bring Nature indoors.

If you don’t get chance to get outdoors much, never fear, there are other fab ways to help soothe the senses and they are:

Meditative Breathing

Before and after going to busy places use meditative breathing exercises for a couple of minutes or longer. A good one to use is the 4/7/8 breathing technique. Inhale for 4 beats, hold for 7 beats, exhale for 8 beats. This practice is soothing to all senses and helps protect from loud energy.

Buzzing bee breath is another great technique to use. Simply close your eyes, plug in your ears with your fingers, inhale and, keeping the mouth closed, exhale whilst making the sound of a buzzing bee. (See more here.)

Crystals

Carrying or wearing grounding crystals, such as Hematite or Black Tourmaline, are perfect for protection. These stones not only help protect you from loud energy, they are also soothing to the emotions and help keep you grounded. (More on crystals coming soon.)

Aromatherapy

A great way to soothe your senses and bring all-round calm is by using aromatherapy oils. Before going to peopled places, put some lavender on a hanky and breathe it in when ‘overloaded.’ Or use essential oils in the bath after an energy overload. (Here’s a post to get you started.)

It is also a good idea to avoid overly potent chemical smells (car fumes, air fresheners, cleaning products, soaps, perfumes and deodorants, etc.), which can also overload the senses.

Music

The right type of music, or sounds, can work wonders for soothing your senses and protecting from loud energy. Take your ear phones and Ipod (do people still use these?) or other device and listen to soothing or uplifting music when in places where there is a lot of sensory stimuli.

Eye Cupping

Too much visual stimuli can be overloading. A simple way to soothe your sight sense is eye cupping. Rub your hands together to warm them up, then place your palms over your eyes. Open your eyes into the dark warmth of your palms for as longs as needed (only perform when safe to do so).

So, there you go. Hopefully you will have some new inspiration of what to try to prevent sensory overload and to protect from loud energy. (If you’re looking for more this post might help.)

In my next post I will be addressing a massive factor that is responsible for causing Empath overwhelm and sensory overload. Be sure to look out for it.

Hope you’re all keeping well in your little corners of the world.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

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Can An Empath Really Feel Other People’s Emotions?

The answer to the above question is yes. An Empath really can feel the emotions of others.

The problem is we don’t always know how it makes us react.

What I mean by this is, the emotional energy of those we come into contact with can have a huge impact; not only on how we feel but on how we behave. It can push us towards being more introverted than what is natural, it can trigger insecurities or even make us feel unwell.

How Does an Empath Know How to Interpret Emotional Energy?

Interpreting emotional energy is a tricky area. We can so easily misconstrue what we feel. I know I certainly have with different people over the years.

In my teen years I had a friend who, for the purpose of this post, I will call Sarah. I met Sarah at high school. She came from a broken home. But nothing in her outward persona gave off insecurities about her parents’ divorce. She was a bright vivacious girl. Sarah was popular, good at sport and academically minded. And although she did not seem affected by the breakdown of her parents’ marriage, the way she felt to me told another story (I just didn’t know it at the time).

I didn’t know Sarah when her parents split, so I cannot attest to how she was prior to the breakup. But, whenever I was with her, I felt insecure and unstable. At the time I assumed it was ‘just me’ and my own teenage insecurities that made me feel awful when in her presence.

I continued to hang out with Sarah, along with my other friends, after school and into my late teens. But I never enjoyed spending time alone with her. In fact, she used to comment on how quiet I was when it was just the two of us. But I couldn’t help it, I felt myself freeze up when with her.

In her late teens, Sarah ended up getting into the ‘rave/drug scene,’ which was so popular in the late eighties and early nighties here in Manchester. From there she very quickly went downhill. Her childhood trauma evidently caught up with her, which was quickly heightened by her drug use. I would get early morning phone calls off her, telling me that she was frightened and needed to talk immediately. When I turned up at her home, she would not acknowledge the phone call or admit there being a problem. If I tried to talk to her about it, she would quickly change the subject.

Because of her lifestyle choice, Sarah drifted from me and my group of friends. Within a couple of years, Sarah’s mind was no longer her own. She became mentally unstable and was in and out of mental health units.

I lost touch with Sarah many years ago. I have heard through the grapevine that she is still a troubled soul and a shadow of her former ‘happy-go-lucky’ teenage self.

At the time, I may not have understood what I felt in Sarah, but I can still remember how it impacted me. She may have hidden from her pain, but it was loud and clear for me to feel. It gave me a sense of feeling insecure and awkward.

Hidden Pain

Another example of my sensing hidden pain which I didn’t understand in another is with someone who I will refer to as Mrs Smith. I was probably in my twenties, with no real understanding of my Empath ways, when I first encountered Mrs Smith. I remember feeling particularly uncomfortable with her, but in a different way than I had felt with Sarah. The memory of which has also stayed with me for many years.

I have attended the same gym, on and off, since my twenties. It is the type of gym, like many others, where you know people’s faces but don’t know their names or their backstories, and it was here where I first encountered Mrs Smith, when we were paired up in a yoga class:

The best way I could describe Mrs Smith’s energy, on my first encounter with her, was as a self-absorbed vibe. I wasn’t sure why but I did not enjoy being in her presence. I remember back then that she was sometimes arrogant and acted like she was the only person in the room worthy of the teacher’s attention. I felt naturally repelled by her. Over the years, as I came and went from the gym, our paths rarely crossed, until I started doing classes regularly again.

On my first re-encounter, I remember being stood in the studio, waiting for the class to start, when Mrs Smith came behind me. I immediately reacted. All I can say is I felt rage inside. I wanted to get away from her because the feelings I experienced were so unbearable (which also made me feel guilt for wanting to escape her). I didn’t remember feeling ‘this bad’ with her before.

The thing is, Mrs Smith looked happy. She chatted to others in the class and made her presence known. From the outside you would never think anything untoward was going on. But every time I came close to her, if only in passing, I was engulfed with a sense of dread or rage. By this point I knew I was an Empath and I recognised that I was feeling her energy. It was so potent that it was hard for me to block it or distract myself.

I didn’t even have to see Mrs Smith to feel her energy, it would wash over me like a dark gloom, even when she was out of eyeline.

When I don’t know them personally, I sometimes find that by making eye contact with people, who trigger emotional reactions within me, it has the effect of lessening the impact. But as Mrs Smith never looked my way, often breezing by me like I was invisible(this is common when those in pain come near an Empath see this post to learn more), all I could do was quietly inch myself away.

Sadly, a couple of years ago, Mrs Smith committed suicide.

Everyone who knew Mrs Smith at the gym were shocked by how she could do such a thing. They had no idea that she was in such a dark place. But facts emerged about her life after her passing, that she had not shared with others, which explained her story. It also explained why I felt such rage in her presence. It was a very sad ending to a life of pain.

When an Image Does Not Reflect the Truth

I could go on with examples of how people have affected me emotionally, and how an ‘image’ does not always reflect the truth. A smile can hide deep pain. Arrogance can hide an incredible lack of self-worth.

Humans are good at concealing insecurities and their inner turmoil, but an Empath will always feel them.

When engulfed by negative emotions, after being around a certain person, it doesn’t mean the other is a bad person. We are often just picking up on what the person feels about themselves or about life.

Is there a Solution?

So, the question is what we should do when we feel toxic emotions in another. Should we intervene or avoid?

When people hide from themselves, or are in denial of their past, there is not a lot we can do to help them. If they are not ready or willing to confront their insecurities or ‘shadow,’ they will unlikely want others to acknowledge them either.

A Few Kind Words

Self-protection is important. Sometimes staying away from those who trigger uncomfortable feelings is the best and only option. However, there are ways we can make a difference to those in hidden emotional pain, without doing too much damage to our own emotional health, by offering a few kind words.

Words of self-encouragement or just simple friendliness can go a long way. Not only in changing the way the other feels to us, but also in how they feel about themselves (if only briefly).

We can be inclined to avoid those who make us feel bad, but sometimes briefly making contact actually helps them and us. It can have the effect of ‘breaking the emotional connection,’ and distracts us from what we feel.

Some might find it better to mentally send ‘positive vibes’ instead. It really depends on how the energy of another affects you and your mind.

Of course, this is a broad subject with many different scenarios. But it is always good to have different approaches to survive in different situations.

Please feel free to share examples of how you cope when around people who carry ‘uncomfortable energy’ in the comments below.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time…

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

 

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What is Really Making You Angry as an Empath?

Have you found yourself suffering more with angry emotional reactions lately than what is usual? Have you ever wondered why?

Following on from my last post about the shadow side, today I want to discuss another way in which the shadow may be experienced: through anger.

The reason this is an important issue to address is because anger is especially damaging to the body. Anger stresses the adrenals, causes stomach problems, and weakens the heart area. in fact, just one minute of anger can suppress the immune system for five hours.

In current times it seems anger is being purposely stimulated amongst the masses, which is not good for the Empaths.

All around the world we see people getting angry or hateful over ‘local or global affairs.’ There is so much fury being projected on to issues presented online that it makes you question: are people really so angry with these issues or is it something else? Something deeper that has been suppressed that is trying to draw their attention?

An Empath will always be affected by the anger in others; but they also have their own to deal with. However, because they know the damage anger can do, when projected on to others, it is often suppressed. Which rarely leads to anything good.

You’re Never Angry About What You Think You’re Angry About!

The above statement is so true. We are rarely infuriated by what we think. We are simply projecting our pain when triggered.

When we project our pain on to external factors, instead of looking inwards to find and fix what needs fixing, we don’t uncover the real roots of our anger.

How Do We Uncover What is Really Making Us Angry?

An unhealed Empath, who has spent years stuffing down emotions, can find offence in pretty much everything. In these times, however, everything is rising to the surface. As noted many times in other posts, imbalances in hormones, due to the diet and environmental factors, plays a huge part in emotional reactions (read more here), but they mostly have to do with our past.

Going Backwards to go Forwards

In life we often have to go backwards to go forwards. What I mean by this is we have to visit the origins of the wounds from our past before we can move away from them.

If, for example, anger is triggered in the present by someone expressing their beliefs, the question has to be asked: Why are their opinions striking a chord?

Could it be related to a buried memory from childhood? Maybe a memory of being told you were wrong? Or perhaps being told you were not good enough? Perhaps regularly? Or it could be that you just want to express yourself without someone jumping in to say that your opinions are unfounded, or liken your ideas to a conspiracy theory (yes, that has happened to me before).

Anger projected into the present is likely to have originated from a past issue, often made much worse by hormone imbalances (read more here ), but it will usually be disguised as anger towards something else.

The ego is often blamed for certain ‘toxic feelings.’ And yes, the ego likes to dominate, it likes to be right and is also easily bruised. But an inflated ego is not always the precursor to anger within an Empath, it is more likely to be the wounds of the shadow.

The shadow holds the unresolved issues, emotional pain and insecurities that affect our behaviour and outlook on life. It also likes to trigger anger. That said, sometimes experiencing dark emotions is not always a bad thing.

Can Positive Situations Come from Anger?

There are times when anger and rage can propel us to make changes in life, pushing us onwards and upwards. It can also help us address that which needs addressing. However, when it is anger outbursts or silent anger, that quietly lingers in the shadows without serving any purpose except stress, then it is a problem!

Do we really want to punish our self for someone else’s opinion or mistake? Because that’s what we do when we host or suppress the emotion of anger.

People will always disagree. It doesn’t mean one is right and the other is wrong. There is just a difference of opinion. We do not need to convince anyone of anything. If someone is not ready to hear our opinion it is not our job to force it upon them. In fact, some people will never hear what we have to say, no matter how much truth is in our words, and that’s ok.

So, how do we tackle the anger or uncomfortable feelings that arise?

Firstly, do not suppress anger. But also, don’t take it out on others.

Many years ago, I read Louise Hay’s recommendation of using a pillow to release anger. Simply take a nice fluffy pillow and, when no one is around, beat it up. It does help.

Secondly, get familiar with the triggers:

To find out where your anger stems from, question yourself. Who are you really angry with? When you ask this question, a picture of someone will quickly come to mind often alongside an uncomfortable memory or feeling.

Do you really want that person or persons to continue to hurt you today? If the answer is no, it’s time to stop or release the anger reaction. Breathe through it or just pause and allow it to pass.

As I said, anger is hugely detrimental to health, as is any of the other stressed/pained emotions.

I realize that switching off emotions is a lot harder than just turning off a light switch. There are several other factors we have to consider. For example, have we become addicted to the hormones these emotions produce (read this post to uncover if you have a negativity addiction)? or are we unable to let go of the pain because it has become part of our identity? But understanding the cause helps in reducing the reactions.

The long-term goal is to stop feeding the shadow when it ignites an anger response. But recognizing that it is the shadow at work is halfway to making this realization.

Healing

When healed, we come to understand that what others say, think or do is more a reflection of them and not us. But until we get to this place, using grounding techniques, such as those I discuss here, will help reduce anger or prevent other emotional reactions, and a nice fluffy pillow (for pounding out the emotions) is always there for those darker days.

These journeys, we are each experiencing, have been designed especially for us. The beliefs we have and the problems we face are ours to overcome. The same can be said for everyone out there. By allowing others to have their own opinion, by walking away from fights that will never be resolved, or from the people who take pleasure in putting others down, it is not only liberating but also healing. And addressing the truth behind anger goes a long way towards its release.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine

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Facing the Empath’s Shadow Side

A couple of posts ago, I discussed how an Empath is often painted as the villain. Today, I want to discuss a similar subject but from another perspective: The Empath’s shadow side.

The shadow side may sound like something devious that drives a person to do dark and dastardly deeds; but it is mostly the source of great emotional pain, especially within an Empath.

What is an Empath’s Shadow Side?

Basically, a shadow side within an Empath is the same as within anyone else: it is the unresolved issues, emotional pain and insecurities, buried deep within, that can affect our behaviour and outlook on life. The side we don’t always know how to deal with.

I also mentioned in my last post how many Empaths are continually working on themselves to become healthier, happier and all-round better people. The shadow side, however, is often the last thing we want to address.

It is in the things that hurt us or that which we hide from where we will find our shadow.

Most of us have a side that we keep hidden from the rest of the world and even from ourselves. Hiding from our shadow side could be likened to wearing a mask, to conceal something that we consider either too ugly to be seen or too painful to be confronted.

The Japanese believe that everyone has three faces: The face we show the world, the face we show our family and close friends, and the face we show no one. It is our hidden face which is our truest reflection and hides our deepest discomforts. Wearing a mask, to conceal one’s shadow side, is the way many live and is often considered the norm.

Revealing the Cause

A good way to reveal the shadow is looking at what hurts you most. Is it rejection or not being accepted? Could it be people taking advantage of your kind nature? or perhaps not being able to connect with others? Whatever it is, you will generally find the origins of this hurt in your childhood.

Sensitive people are impacted their whole life by the inconsiderate or cruel behaviour of certain individuals from their childhood: The school bully, an angry teenage sibling, an unaware teacher, etc. If something cruel and uncalled for was said or done to you as a child, a seed was planted, creating the roots of the shadow to build.

Hiding from one’s truth may seem like a contradiction on the part of an Empath. Especially considering that most Empaths tend to detest inauthenticity. Wouldn’t hiding a part of ourselves be classed as living in an inauthentic way…? Yes and no.

There is a good reason an Empath may hide the truth of themselves from certain people, and it’s not always to get them to like us.

When we awaken as an Empath, a new way of life is gradually revealed. Not only do we come to embrace and appreciate our unusual traits – traits that set us apart from others – but we start experiencing more synchronicities, we develop greater intuition and discover a new outlook. Everything we have experienced when around people, emotionally and physically, finally makes sense. We understand our need for time alone, why we feel crazy energy when in busy places, and why we experience overpowering emotions when with certain persons. We also come to understand the deeper layers of human nature.

Once awake, we see that most people only see things from their own perspective. The majority don’t have the ability to see the world in 3D, like many Empaths do, and therefore cannot get on board with our way of thinking or relate to the experiences we endure. Because of this awareness, we become vigilant of protecting our space and are hesitant of opening up… We also don’t like burdening others with our troubles.

One thing the ‘Empath Awakening’ doesn’t do is take away our woes. In some cases, we become more sensitive and feel emotions more intensely. We thus hide from our shadow side to protect ourselves from experiencing more pain.

The truth is, avoidance just prolongs the discomfort.

Humans are hardwired into avoiding pain. It is a form of self-protection. ‘Escapism of feeling’ is often done through suppressants such as food, alcohol or drugs, etc.

This never works.

Suppressants just numb or mask the pain for a while. They act like a distraction; taking our attention away from that which needs addressing.

Confrontation

Some believe that by confronting their shadow-side it will cause too much heartache; hoping that avoidance will offer the ‘easier ride’. Which is understandable.

Sadly, when we choose the ‘easy route’ in life, it rarely turns out to be the comfortable journey we wanted, especially when we are avoiding doing something we know we should do.

One of the simplest ways to face the shadow side is by admitting to our insecurities, or that which hurts us.

Admitting that we have been hurt by our past and that we are ready to let it go brings the pain out of the shadows. When facing our ‘inner-demons’, we work to take away their power.

That said, it is not always possible to remove all the buried pain of the shadow side. Some pain is hardwired and is part of us for a reason. It shapes us in many ways; allowing us to empathize at a deeper level.

When we accept that ‘emotional pain’ has a purpose on this journey and is not just some unfair burden that we were unfortunate enough to be saddled with, it can lessen the impact.

Calming the Shadow

Another aspect of working towards balance is to avoid anything which unnecessarily activates ingrained mood-memories created by the shadow.

Mood-memories are the go-to moods, initially activated by the pain body, that we hang out in when feeling low or when in a dark mental space. I find two of the biggest triggers being diet and people (and hormone fluctuations).

Diet

By eating foods that influence the hormones in a negative way, it not only lowers our vibration and slows us down, it also impacts moods. This has bearings on wellbeing and initiates dark emotions to be roused or remembered. Wheat and sugar being two of the biggies (read more here). Meat also plays its part with many Empaths (this post explains more).

Uncovering food triggers is an essential part of preventing activation of mood memory.

People 

The type of people who become pain prompters for an Empath are those who hide their truth and pretend to be something they’re not. Basically, anyone who lives a big lie. Not just by lying to themselves, in hiding from their pain, but lying in their words, actions and energy. Those who hurt others with their disregard and those who hide their shadow behind their ego can act like triggers (read more here).

Just by spending too much time in the presence of anyone who carries the above traits could activate mood-memories.

Face the Pain

Facing hidden emotional pain frees us from living in its shadow.

Self-confrontation may seem like a scary option, but it is one of the best ways to release the emotional shackles of the shadow. If we have hidden insecurities, we continue to suffer, and we continue to draw to us those who play on these weaknesses (law of attraction).

The shadow side offers incredible lessons and serves us in many ways; but until we face it or at least admit to it, our actions and emotions are determined by its sway rather than by our conscious choice.

I will be discussing this subject from another perspective in my next post, so be sure to look out for it.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

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The Transformational Power of Words

Words really do hold power, especially when put together in a certain way. They can change your whole outlook on life.

Whilst perusing online I came across a poem that I wanted to share with you all.

I would not say I am a big fan of poetry but there is something about this one that spoke to me. It was not only a reminder of how much art and truth rests in verse, but also what an incredible journey life is.

It was said the poem was written by Charlie Chaplin at the age of 70. I cannot verify this as true (I realise many quotes and poems credited to a certain person online are not always true). The poem has also been attributed to Kim McMillen who wrote a book called ‘When I Loved Myself Enough’.

I was captivated by its words and the message contained. To me, the poem reveals a life lived with lessons and growth.

So, have a read. See what you think…

As I began to love myself
I found that anguish and emotional suffering
are only warning signs that I was living
against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is Authenticity.

As I began to love myself
I understood how much it can offend somebody
if I try to force my desires on this person,
even though I knew the time was not right
and the person was not ready for it,
and even though this person was me.
Today I call this Respect.

As I began to love myself
I stopped craving for a different life,
and I could see that everything
that surrounded me
was inviting me to grow.
Today I call this Maturity.

As I began to love myself
I understood that at any circumstance,
I am in the right place at the right time,
and everything happens at the exactly right moment.
So I could be calm.
Today I call this Self-Confidence.

As I began to love myself
I quit stealing my own time,
and I stopped designing huge projects
for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness,
things I love to do and that make my heart cheer,
and I do them in my own way
and in my own rhythm.
Today I call this Simplicity.

As I began to love myself
I freed myself of anything
that is no good for my health –
food, people, things, situations,
and everything that drew me down
and away from myself.
At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is Love of Oneself.

As I began to love myself
I quit trying to always be right,
and ever since
I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is Modesty.

As I began to love myself
I refused to go on living in the past
and worrying about the future.
Now, I only live for the moment,
where everything is happening.
Today I live each day,
day by day,
and I call it Fulfillment.

As I began to love myself
I recognized
that my mind can disturb me
and it can make me sick.
But as I connected it to my heart,
my mind became a valuable ally.
Today I call this connection Wisdom of the Heart.

We no longer need to fear arguments,
confrontations or any kind of problems
with ourselves or others.
Even stars collide,
and out of their crashing, new worlds are born.
Today I know: This is Life!

So, what do you think? Did it talk to you too? Let me know in the comments below.

Until next time.

Diane

 

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Why are Empaths Painted as The Villain?

Have you ever been accused of saying something you didn’t say, or blamed for something you didn’t do…?

For an Empath this is more common than you might think…

I am prone to having a roving mind. Having a good old ponder on life and its many ups and downs. During my musings, I often think about my Empath traits, traits that I have lived with for so long, and the impact they have. One thing is for sure, they certainly haven’t offered the easiest ride in life, especially when being the target for unfair attacks and blame.

I know many of you lovely Empaths out there will have experienced either being painted as the villain or being on the receiving end of a character assassination at some point on your journey, and this is what I want to address today.

I have discussed this subject in other posts over the years, but with all this crazy energy affecting the people of the world I thought it a good idea to address it again.

Any Empath who spends time around people often finds themselves under attack in weird ways and for nonsensical reasons. And it’s always good to have reminders as to why these attacks happen because, let’s face it, they don’t feel good.

It is human nature to want to be accepted by others. We are pack animals and don’t always want to be ostracized from the herd (unless we are done with people)..But being wrongly accused, or blamed for something we didn’t do, usually pushes us away from family or friends because it is difficult to deal with such betrayal.

It is common for an Empath to make the mistake of believing that those in our life think and feel the way we think and feel. Therefore, it is beyond our comprehension if someone attacks us or paints us as some ‘crooked creature’.

So why is it so many Empaths are disliked, perceived as the bad guy or are wrongly accused?

There are several reasons; one of the first being:

The Mirror Effect

Empaths can unintentionally reflect what they feel in another. Revealing their truths. Anything hidden, such as insecurities, suppressed shame, guilt or anger, builds the longer it is left buried. If someone conceals traits, such as the above, that they don’t like about themselves, they are reminded of them when in an Empath’s presence.

Why Does this Happen?

Due to the fact an Empath picks up on other people’s emotions, hidden behaviours and true personality traits, we often take them on, sometimes acting them out. Otherwise known as morphing. We basically become like a mirror. Reminding the other of what they are hiding from. This can cause an instant dislike from them to us.

If this has been your experience, that someone seems cold towards you for no reason, it could be that you are reflecting the truth they deny. Or there could be another reason…

You Have a Super-Speedy Vibration

An Empath is generally always working on themselves. Working to clear toxic emotions, dark thoughts or outdated behaviours. We want to make our world into a better brighter place, and we know by making changes to ourselves it will also benefit the outside world.

When we do the work and make any positive changes to our mind, body or spirit, we become cleaner and purer. This effectively speeds up our vibration. Which is a good thing; but it can make others uncomfortable.

Just like an Empath’s need not to be around people who spew negativity, there are some who cannot stand being around those who emit a sparkly clean energy.

Now, this is not to say an Empath is perfect or that they are some kind of ‘quiet saint’. We all have flaws and weaknesses we need to work through. The whole point of life is to evolve. But vibrating in a higher space can repel people, even those we love.

What Does This Look Like?

You may have noticed when in an emotionally low place some friends prefer you that way. It seems to make them comfortable that you are suffering (which is randomly odd). Yet when we make changes and get into a higher vibrating space, those same people don’t always like it. They may try to bring us back down, by attempting to extinguish our inner-light and happiness.

This isn’t always a cruelty thing. They sense us moving away from them and lash out in the hopes it will bring us back to their level.

People sense change, whether it is visually apparent or not, they feel when another has changed or stepped up their frequency. Not everyone is ready to raise their vibration. Some still have lessons to learn at their level and are not ready to move forwards. And because they are not ready, they may try to draw us back down. This is often done by snide remarks and unkind comments. But this is not the only thing that ignites a negative response from others…

An Empath’s Quiet Nature is often Deemed as Offensive

Yes, you did just read that line correctly. Another reason people form an instant dislike of some Empaths (especially the introverts) is because of a quiet nature. Here’s why:

To those of an insecure nature, an Empath’s sometimes quiet or distant ways may be taken as a snub or a form of disrespect. We may be considered as being remote or standoffish and this can be wrongly interpreted as superior or ‘judgy’ behaviour. In other words, some people assume we believe we are ‘above them’.

Normally, when an Empath acts in an aloof or distant way, it is because we are on overload, drained and in need of a ‘timeout’. When having taken on too much stimuli, we want to be invisible to others. A fatigue meltdown means an Empath can’t deal with someone offloading their troubles. We may switch off. Even polite conversation is too much. And this behaviour is often interpreted as a rejection.

Because most people don’t feel an inch of what an Empath does, it is difficult for them to understand our need to withdraw. Sadly, the more insecure someone is, the more they are offended. If we’re seen as blowing ‘hot and cold’, our behaviour may be considered as arrogance. If this causes insult, we may be rejected, or our character is attacked as a form of retaliation.

So, if someone develops an aversion towards you, for no good reason, if they attack you behind your back or paint you as the ‘bad guy’, remember it is not always because of something you have done, instead it is a flaw or insecurity in your attacker.

People will always be threatened by an Empath’s light. We need to know that that’s ok and keep focused on what inspires or uplifts us, instead of on those who are offended by our Empath ways.

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

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The Precipice of Change & Why It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

In the past few years we have seen some crazy hate campaigns going on in the media. Usually disguised as crusades for acceptance, equality or important political issues, but the true intention of these campaigns is usually to keep people distracted and divided.

Before I go any further, I would like to say that this is not a post on politics, issues on equality or anything like that. I am discussing how damaging all the dark energy, that is being fired up, is having and the reason for it.

I am not into politics and would never aim to influence anyone’s opinion on these matters, but what is happening now is seriously ugly, and anyone who is Sensitive will be horribly affected by the division, aggression and hate purposely stimulated.

The above campaigns are normally disguised as ‘pushes towards positive progression’, but as always within the mainstream media there is usually a hidden agenda to keep people away from their truth and self-evolvement.

Everyone wants to be accepted, and we are being told that we should be more accepting of those who are different. Acceptance of others is a good thing and should definitely be encouraged. But by stirring up hate in order to achieve this will not work. Hatred will never encourage acceptance. Evil begets evil, anger begets anger and hate begets hate.

The reason I wanted to address this subject today is because the type of energy that is being stirred up is the kind that brings an Empath down fast, if they are unfortunate enough to get caught up in it, and distracted from their own evolvement.

It is very easy for an Empath to lift the energy of others, in the form of opinions and ideas, and take them on as their own. We don’t even have to be physically in the presence of another for this to happen, reading online articles or watching videos can have the same impact. We can become so swayed by overwhelming opinions and energy that we get distracted from our life and dragged into a ‘manufactured war’. A war between people.

People are purposely being fired against each other and it is so awful to bear witness to, especially as an Empath.

Within the political world there has always been different parties, people standing for different reasons and rights. But never before have I seen such animosity stirred up, supposedly in the name of ‘standing for what is right’.

We have campaigns telling the world how we should be more accepting of others, but at the same time we are shown to hate those who don’t have the same opinions as us. It is considered ok to attack anyone who does not hold the same view, political or other, or to make assumptions on another’s beliefs and ideologies.

From where I stand, the message coming across is that its ok to silence, intimidate or attack those who stand up for what they believe in, if it doesn’t fit in with the narrative of the mainstream media. But how is this in any way progress?

But the truth is it’s not meant to be progress. It’s meant to throw us off track and keep us from our light.

A couple of months ago I watched a ‘Roast of Rob Lowe’ on Comedy Central. The panel of Roasters, and the audience, was filled with celebrities and well-known faces. It was just like any other Roast, of below-the-belt-banter, until Anne Coulthard got up. Talk about tumbleweeds.  

I must admit, I don’t know much about Anne Coulthard other than she is an advocate for Trump. But when she stood up, to do her Roast, the audience jeered her in such a hateful way and showed her nothing but contempt that it was difficult to watch. If the jeering was done in the ‘banterish’ way of the Roast, it might be laughed at, but it was hate-mob mentality and seriously uncomfortable viewing. Revulsion was written on the majority’s faces. And it sent a message to say if you don’t think like us or agree with us, then this is how we will treat you. This is extreme narcissism and it is scary that it seems to be so accepted!

I get that everyone has their own political opinions and beliefs. And so they should. Politics has always been an ugly arena; but the intimidation that is now happening is bullying and is not the behaviour that should be passed off as acceptable in a supposedly progressive society. We cannot be told that bullying is bad then show it as entertainment. Unless, of course, if the desired effect is to turn people against each other…

Celebrities are major influencers. People respect and admire them. Seeing celebs behaving towards others with contempt, because of their political leanings, shows the viewing world that this is the way to treat anyone who holds differing opinions.

Encouraging hate will never encourage acceptance. It just distracts and divides. The messages being sent out by the media are both confusing and contradictory. By keeping us distracted and divided it keeps us from finding unity with each other and from finding our own power.

I try to bypass anything that holds the content of hate online, but by spending a lot of time on my laptop, I sometimes find myself being drawn in on YouTube or something. When I do get drawn in, it leaves me deflated and depressed (and in serious need of chocolate). 

There are so many messages of hate being sent out in the guise of ‘striving for acceptance’, but the way these messages are portrayed are just so off track.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for acceptance, and in a perfect world we would all be capable of accepting everyone for their ‘differences’. But one thing is for sure, hate will always negate acceptance. 

There will always be differing political opinions, religious beliefs, cultural differences and varied outlooks on life. As I have said many times before, we are all different with different life paths (even as Empaths), and that is a good thing, it’s the way it is meant to be. It is so easy to waste this precious life focused on what others do or say and what they believe in, instead of focusing on finding our truth and purpose.

If you pay too much attention to the negative hype, being purposely aggravated, then you will be badly affected. By avoiding the media fracas, you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary suffering and heartache. You will feel more positive about yourself and others. Read this post to learn why Empaths are more at risk from the negativity.

We are in the midst of some incredible times for evolvement; which can be easily missed when focusing on manufactured negativity. I believe that all this BS means we are on the precipice of incredible changes for all (things get worse before they get better), but we still have to participate in any change for the better by keeping ourselves in a higher space. Doing a daily reset helps with this.

When spending your time doing what you love, and away from the media, it automatically elevates you. It also helps keep you protected from the dark energy stirred up out there. You then radiate a more powerful energy which positively impacts those you come into contact with.

Ok, that’s my musings for today.

Hope you are all having a fantastic summer… or winter.

Until next time…

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

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Are You Searching for Purpose or Do You Have Destination Addiction?


A couple of posts ago, I wrote about Negativity Addiction and how it impacts the Empaths of the world. Today I’ll be addressing another unusual addiction talked about within social media circles: Destination Addiction.

Destination Addiction is the idea that happiness lies in the next job, the next relationship or location, etc. It is said that until we give up the idea that happiness lies somewhere else it will never be where we are.

When I came across the idea of ‘Destination Addiction’, it opened an inner-dialogue; was this a good thing or not?

On the one hand, if we believe happiness lies outside of ourselves, do we ever find it? and on the other, does our pursuit of happiness not keep us moving forwards, onwards and upwards?

I see both sides have their merits.

Destination Addiction (DA) can serve us, helping us uncover our truth, but it might also prevent us from feeling complete.

Everyone is Susceptible

DA affects many people’s lives in different ways. The obvious scenario is when someone gives up something good to find something better, only to end up with something worse.  For example, in relationships: an unhappy person might break up a stable marriage with a loving spouse, after blaming them for their unhappiness; to set up with another partner, who they deem to be their ‘perfect match’, only to find they are still unhappy and in a worse situation than before.

Then there are those who have incredible experiences in their DA and search for happiness: By pushing forward, to find a place of ‘belonging’, a person might study hard, try numerous vocations, have beautiful families, visit mind-blowing locations, and meet extraordinary people.

I consider myself to be a multipotentialite. I love trying new things. But am I in the belief that the next endeavour holds long-sought after happiness? The answer is a resounding, No. Apart from the days when I’ve eaten a disagreeable food, or suffered a dose of ‘people-itis’, or if my hormones are playing up, I would say I am happy. I love what I do. But I also adore collecting new life experiences. I do it for the experience and not because I am ‘searching for happiness outside myself’. But I wasn’t always that way…

Like many twenty somethings, I also believed happiness lay somewhere else; which didn’t get any better as I moved into my thirties. Being in a profession I fell into (hairdressing), with a business that felt like a trap, and a business partner who wasn’t a fit for me or my Empath ways, I kept looking outside of myself. Believing there was something else out there, I wished it would come and find me, but deep down I knew it was my job to search it out.

Anyone looking from the outside might have considered me to be inconsistent or that I couldn’t stick to anything, because I kept studying and pursuing new interests. My adventurous spirit could have been classed as a bad case of ‘Destination Addiction’. That said, I always finished what I started, and I truly enjoyed learning. But an inner-void and a yearning kept pushing me on.  There were missing pieces, that needed to be found. I kept searching.

The search sent knowledge and many incredible life experiences to me, including some unpleasant obstacles. So, what might be classed as a ‘DA’ has served me well.

Have I found all the pieces? No, and nor would I want to. Gaining knowledge and having experiences keeps life interesting and awesome.

An Unhappy Population

According to statistics, about seventy-five percent of the workforce are miserable in their career. The cost of living traps many people. Simply paying for life’s necessities can wrap us up in debt. But even when one has wealth or ‘the dream job’ it doesn’t mean happiness is guaranteed. Sometimes the biggest void is seen in those who ‘seemingly’ have the most.

We are led to believe that wealth and positions of power are they key to happiness; but what about all those who ‘have it all’ and are still unhappy?

When someone has a void within that they don’t know how to satisfy, some of the usual fillers are drink, drugs, or shopping. Chasing a high or plugging up a lack of fulfilment with ‘stuff’, there’s a belief that the next night out, the new car, next holiday, or shiny Rolex will seal the ‘gap’. But does it ever?

What’s the Answer?

I heard a comment the other day that put a smile on my face:

If you could do one thing in life that you knew you wouldn’t fail at, what would it be…? Now, go off and do it.’

Such simple logic. But career is not always where the real problems lie. The belief that happiness is somewhere else might just be the issue.

Taking quiet reflective time to look at life objectively can help. Time to think about possible changes that could be made.

Changes don’t necessarily need to be new life experiences, new jobs or new relationships, they could be as simple as spending regular time in nature, giving up processed foods, incorporating crystals or aromatherapy oils into daily life, or drinking more water… Don’t try harder try different.

It is often small changes that make the biggest difference. They all add up, and help us see that happiness has always been within reach.

So, yes, in my humble opinion, Destination Addiction has both pros and cons. If we allow it to push us towards life experiences, growth and a career that is a fit with who we are, then it is a great blessing. If we convince ourselves that happiness lies outside ourselves, or in the hands of another, then it might never be found.

We have the potential to uncover exactly what we need. But we also have to be patient, and know every experience is serving us in ways we might not understand for some time. Roads that appear to lead nowhere are also steps of new direction, and still have purpose.

Hope this helps on your journey.7 secrets e-book version

Until next time,

Diane

©Diane Kathrine

 

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Is This Normal in an Empath…?

As I’m sure your already more than aware, being an Empath certainly comes with its challenges. One such thing is suffering with heightened sensitivities, like allergies and intolerances.

For many, having sensitivities tends to go hand-in-hand with Empath life. However,  at a certain age you may find these sensitivities heighten and go into overdrive.

There are many reasons for this, but mostly it is down to a compromised immune system and shifting hormones. These changes are normally experienced from the mid-thirties onwards.

Sadly, with age, our bodies become less resilient to all kinds of stress, which means allergies and intolerances start having a greater impact.

The main difference between an allergy and an intolerance is that an allergy is triggered by the immune system, whereas an intolerance may or may not involve an immune system response. Intolerances can also trigger autoimmune reactions, where the immune system attacks the tissues of the body.

Allergic reactions show up straight away, whereas intolerances may not happen for anything up to a day or two after exposure This is the same for being ‘peopled’. The effects of being ‘peopled’ may be experienced straight away or not for 24 hours or more…

Many Empaths have intolerances that they know of, but you may have become intolerant to something or someone and not even be aware of it.

If you are in contact with something on a daily basis that you are allergic or intolerant to, you tend to have a continuous, albeit sometimes minor, reaction. For example: you may suffer with a constant stuffy nose, itchy eyes, muscle or joint discomfort, lethargy or headaches; but because the symptoms seem minor, you give little thought to them.

Most of us already know what we should or shouldn’t consume. We get that nagging feeling that something is not a fit. But when sensitivities heighten with age, we may start reacting to things we have come into daily contact with for most of our life (including certain people), and therefore not make the connection.

So, you may now be wondering what types of reactions you could experience. Here’s a brief breakdown:

  • If you drink alcohol, you may find yourself getting intoxicated ridiculously easily and feel so ill after consumption that you believe you’re going to die. Hangovers last for days or even a week. This shows your body is not able to process alcohol like it did, and it’s time to eliminate or drastically reduce your intake.
  • After eating meat, poultry or fish you feel more depressed than normal and your energy levels plummet. Some Empaths feel the energy of an animal when they consume its flesh, which can cause depression; but also the chemicals and hormones injected into meat can cause a reaction that gets worse with age.
  • Your morning coffee starts giving you the jitters, making you anxious and/or nauseous. Many Empaths find their tolerance for caffeine decreases with age.
  • The day after spending time with a certain person you feel fatigued and depressed.
  • When coming into contact with air fresheners, cleaning products, perfumes or garden chemicals, your nose starts streaming and you develop cold-like symptoms.
  • Consuming anything genetically modified triggers a host of uncomfortable symptoms for days after.
  • White sugar or wheat products makes your body lethargic and your mind race.
  • Watching TV or spending time on the internet  gives you brain fog and makes you feel restless or irritable.
  • You may find you put on weight, for no reason, which you cannot get rid of.

As Empath life already has enough challenges to deal with, you don’t want to endure any unnecessary suffering. So, if you find your sensitivities have heightened towards people, or anything else, it is a good idea to keep a lifestyle diary. Write down what you eat, chemicals you may have come into contact with in cleaning products or other, list the people you spend time with, whether you have reactions to hair dyes or beauty treatments, and make a note of time spent in front of a computer, TV or other media outlets,  (for women make a note of your monthly cycle).

By keeping notes it will eventually reveal a pattern, and help you make the connection between how you feel and what you’ve come into contact with. It also helps you determine what is triggering or heightening your sensitivities.

One of the best ways to determine an intolerance or allergy is a process of elimination: To withdraw from your life, for a time, the suspected trigger and then reintroduce it after three to four weeks. If you have become intolerant you normally have a big reaction when its reintroduced (this even works with people). If you have a negative physical or emotional reaction it is probably time to eliminate the trigger.

Here are some other posts you might find helpful for determining physical weaknesses that may have developed over the years: Here, Here and Here.

Discover how the traits of an Empath impact the way you live and how to make the most of them...

Discover how the traits of an Empath impact the way you live and how to make the most of them…

Hope this helps on your journey.

Until next time.

Diane.

©Diane Kathrine at Empaths Empowered

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